Saturday, September 29, 2007

"Reefer Madness abounds, Clementcy always wrong," says Tony.

We were mulling over the terrible inconvenience of weeds today when a news bullet, on the wireless, richochetted mighty close to heart(h) of many a Canuck, so to speak.

CBC reports that Tony "Ball Peen" Clement, in order to keep us all healthier, has decided that more stringent penalties should accrue to those Canucks who find some herb efficacious, from time to time.

How long, do you suppose, shall we all Kowtow to these anal compulsive neo-nitwits and their denials of everything, all of us?

How 'bout less distain and more "Le Dain?" Let's Kyoto instead.


Yr. guess is as good as any, maybe we should do something, one of these fine days.

Duya think?

"Tell me quando, quando, quando?"

Today, works fine for us.

Eight (8) Billion tax dollars per annum fund the narcs, the courts, the prisons, you know, the "Game," here in Canada Oh, and the DEA wants in on the action.

Why? Well a Regent Falwell Scolar (who can read), and now, at nineteen(and a half), is Senior Policy Advisor and W.H. Liason to the current dimwit running 'Just Say No,' tripped+fell over an old High Times whilst evading (the usual) leacherous advances.

Somethimg about "Super Natural B.C Bud," she discovered that oddly, softwood and worms were hardly mentioned.

She summoned her (roving) supervisor Guy and the rest is, ah, the usual, except suddenly her mousey coif was replete with ringolettes and quality time with the family became irresistable.

The Pushers?

If cannabis canadiensis were not punitively prohibited, they would melt away like Larson B and the mayhem+machine guns would go with them, Oz's would immediately deflate to circa 1960 levels, maybe ten bucks, and there would be a lot more dancing in the Moonlight.

What's wrong with that?

We could all use tote-bags and lots and lots of other 'hemp' stuff that may, in a pinch, unlike the plastic choking the biosphere, be smoked.

What's wrong with that?

Tony and his cohort are looking to mimic the great success of Bushworld, where since the Coup d'etat, 869,000 ex-kids are now doing hard time because, it is alledged that, they may have had a joint in their jeans.

Some argue that that's not Norml.

As Steveland Morris reported "Come on! Get in that cell nigger."

More jails, yeah, that's the ticket.

Any Canuck Elder, has long (personal) knowledge, of cops, lawyers, judges, politicos, doctors, friends+neighbours, smart, reasonable cookies all, who flash a spliff to relax, unwind, smell the roses, ease the pain+nausea of chronic and palliative strains.

What's wrong with that?

The only 'truth' in "R.M." is its usefulness to pandering pols like Phoney C.

We're weary of this long litany of lies, if you want to bust us Tony, send the choppers.

Let's be blunt (not cheesy) about this.

Pass me the rocket launcher children, we'll call it democracy.

Meanwhile, the Arctic is still melting, faster.

You go, T.C., You know where we all live.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

"This Girl's Not From Ipemema"

Some of us oldsters who were then and are still alert enough, to pay any attention to anything, may recall some of the 'folk' songs we sang in the sweet grass days of yore.

We used to sing with each other, for fun.

Imagine that.

Sometimes a song can be so elegant and emotive, at the crossroads of ancient rhythms and the news of the day and how we feel and well, if that ain't the Blues, byes and gals, you can call me RayJay.

The first drum is the heart.

We are the rhythm.

The melody and harmony require strong concensus and lyric expression, and when we are all in accord, we sing Anthems.

Here's an example from the current U.S. Enemy Aliens List,

"Guantanamara, Guajita Guantanamara..."

This song is to Cubanos as "America the Beautiful" was prior to the coming of the neo- pissants.

Just how useful is all this slandering the cultural totems of others, about which we know nothing, other than fear-mongering?

Where does Hoyle say that American Interests are always trump?

Bush, Cheney and Rice = Greasy, Gassy and Oily.

That's what needs remembering.

Everything they say is "Boogie Woogie," nothin' to do with Rock+Roll.

So WTF are Yanks doing, squatting in Guantanamo Bay?

Say one word about the Maine and we'll stick it up Yr. Alamo.

How and when did the USN become washroom attendants for the Pubic's ghoulish fetish with torture?

Andele Raoul! Batter up Fidel! Listen to the vox populi, void the "Lease," tell G2 and his mini-Mengles to vamoose+go home.

Invite some Iraqis to watch.

Por favor mi amigos, how 'bout an election while Yr. at it, its been fifty years?

Who, except the Pubics, wouldn't adopt this plan in a 9/11 minute?

If Bush/Cheney want to "free" Cuba, they can make a raft like everyone else and "Bring it on," we'll give 'em the paddles.

Cuba's South from Key West, FYI Walker.

Suppose every other Nation said to Uncle Spam, we'll trade with you fairly, not freely, nothing's free you neo-nitwits (they yip about this all the time).

Clean-up Yr. own campsite.
Bus Yr. own tables.
Straighten up+fly right.
Keep Yr. nose out of other people's.......everything.
You weren't invited, and all the fish have gone (bad).
Stay home.
Get a grip.

The Biosphere, with which we've tinkered for a couple of centuries, seems a tetch perturbed, you don't suppose its our fart, do you?

The rising Sea will remediate Guantanamo Bay before an American handshake has any par value around the world again, if ever.

Brava Condi.

Whatever ever happened to "Upper down" votes?

Where did "Consent of the Governed" disaperato?

Veteran Warriors who have, actually, been in a war, soon grasp that Ceasefire, Truce, Armistice, Negotiation, Concessions, Accord, and above all Peace are, unlike the profanity of lies+damn lies from all these pissant little neos, deeply Sacred to everyone.

Fearless or the Field, "With me or ag'in' me," the Tiger or the Lady. So, ah, who do ya like here?

Faites vos jeux, mes amis.

Oh, by the way, the minimum bet at this table is the lives of all of the Grand Children (and any subsequent stragglers) and a large portion of extant flora and most fauna.

We have Yr. imprint, invoices will be forwarded.

"Yo soy un hombre sincero, de donde cresen la pina."

As they say at the Opryland, "Time's a wastin' Walker."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

"O'Reilly really kicks it up a crotch"

Having recently discovered, heretofore unsuspected, hospitality skills and oddly appropriate demeaner amongst luncheonettes/ites in Harlem, Bogside Billy weighed in again today.

See, like Lush Bimbo, Shun Honestly and Ayn Colder, our Puckish Boyo is scavaging for market share way down amongst the vinegarish lees.

Those few, deeply unhappy souls, who unhand their 'serpents' long enough to tithe+subscribe to the curious notions of the Gory Odious Pubics.

(See folks, its a carnival, just like the Band told us, the trick is to put the hoop on the oil barrel.

For the Rubes down the side there's Tittilatin' T+A, And NHL, NFL, NAS CAR, WWF, DOE, DHS, DOD, UFO's And Ye Olde Guessing Booth.

"Why neighbour,if we don't know Everything (Neccessary) About You, in ten seconds, we'll just have tuh increase, Yr. Airmiles! Now walk this way."

New Contest: All submissions welcome.


GOP,KKK, NRA, CIA, DEA, KGB, DOJ and GWB with either Attack Certified Pitbulls or the Sermon on the Mount.)

Enaways, secumming to the entreaties of his prime sponsers, Gold Bug Bullion Bulls, Bill has added a leacherous Leprecon, who suffers from leprosy, to his daily lineup.

"It's a twofer, adds a whimsical edge to my smooth Celtic charm and gives me a 'sidekick' whose zany slurs I can repeat with impugnity" adding "being shorter than me, I often hold my own, with him, and besides, he's mighty handy with a loofah for those hard to reach places."

Shamus O'Really, expressed delight with his new 'sin-u-cure' and was hopeful that when his six year probation, with the vulpine visionary, is completed, and the medicaid kicks in, he can apply for a new nose, as what's left of his truncated septum will certainly get a robust workout on the show.

On today's program, welcoming sponser Monsanto's breakthrough substitute "Milkish"(Tm) to the fold, Wee Liam is expected to shine a much needed, and critical light, on the dark art of breast feeding, 'so called,' babies.

Tune in to hear the "Will E. Chamoix Grope," as wags will surely dub the duo, do the "Washroom Rag" and croon the lilting lullaby "Sure-a-loo-adora," their haunting tribute to erstwhile senator Larry.

Keep Yr. hanky handy, Andy.

Moving-on and getting organized here, some blogwits wonder how long this Bullshit Blarney can bojangle on the narrow defile, between inciteful+jejeune, recently re-christened the Imus Isthmus.

How narrow? As the waist on a Grecian vas, only deferens.


"Erin go braless!"

Canada's Harper "Shines" at U.N.

The times terrifying, the news ghastly,the prospects dim, so we paid close attention to our Leader's comments at the U.N. this week.

The National Post and other 'neo-kits' say that "Harper shines at U.N."

Similar to the meso-american neo-cons, neo-kits are 1/10th the size and have proportionate brains the size of BB's.
Like their distant Austral island cousins they are righteously vicious little buggers.
They are often confused with the sleek moist kit (custard canadiensis), or petite beaver of which many Canucks approve.
One hears "Boy, I could sure do with a little beaver" from time to time and some go as far as caressing them like, ah, young felines.

Now back to Steve's shining which immediately invokes musical memories:

1/ The old Johnny Mercer standard "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed Yr. new shoes."

At last, a photo op without the shooting vest or the exterminator's jacket

2/ Tchaikovsky, #6 in B minor, Pathetique

Speaking to the sort of fallacies with which our leader loves to lard his sad little notions.

Meanwhile the Baird is our Steward, we shall not melt. Natch.

A Curious Reader from the Arctic writes:

Every night now, I put my upper plate under my pillow and in the morning there is no dough!

What's up with that, did the Tooth Fairy retire to Costa Lotta?

Alas the TF has, indeed, flossed off to the tropics with some Dark Roast Coffee Beans who aver that they can be made instantly but prefer that old regular grind.

"Shut up+eat Yr. snowshoes."

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Canoe Tips" for Jr. Levellers

That beauty dragonfly, on the surface ahead, looped too low and is caught by surface tension.

Carefully, slide Yr. paddle below and very gently lift + place on gunnel.

Tell her Yr. story, perferably in song, and if she likes you you may find, on the next portage, that 'skits won't bug you.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

"The Memory Lane Old Thyme Gospel Hour"

The Kirk of the Spice of Life for Faithful Followers.

"Oh Sinner man,where you goin' to run to?"
"What Ye doest unto the least of them"
There is a (bomb) in Gilead, and it's high time we all, quit it.
Hebrews 5:7, considering all things and current circumstance, " Jesus wept."
"Battle Hymn of the Republicans"

Pax vobiscum.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

"Cheney hunting quail,
Iran, you ran, we ran ran,
'til we met the faux. "The Kyoto Kid ponders Pogo.

Will the Bills cover vs Pats in N.E. "Videodome?" Not Likely.

Marcel Marceau's last words?

Stay tuned, Sports fans, across the Dominion, later on da Rock Byes.

Friday, September 21, 2007

"War, at home, may abash Xmas Spending and Rendering" warns W.H.

G2+ His Posse, are fully engaged in an epic saga of will, and of wits, dim, dumb, fuck, half and nit.

Watch, as their rollicking adventures span the globe in these strangely, turbulent times.

Hey, economy's sweeet, why Halliburton, awash with cash, as they say on the Street, will soon announce the acquision of Blackwater as their new division for in-home security, stateside.

BW, in turn, will take over two of America's most beloved brands, KKK+NRA, to fulfill anticipated manpower and equipment needs.

Rollout for the new "Snug as a Bug" campaign is expected next Spring. (Consulting by, Delay+ Ass-o-shites)

Afghanistan? Iraq? That's such old news.

"Screw the buffet, let's do Luncheon at the Carlyle."

"Just a little info for our file."

So Mrs. R., any sign of Joltin' Joe, lately?

Coo, coo, ca choo.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

"Yellow Bellied Varmint," Endangered+Listing

Howdy Folks,
Welcome to the Great Western Comedy Conflation Club,

"Gettin' mighty close to noon, 'darlin', ya'll wouldn't forsake me now, would yuh?"

Barney, downcast+morose, smiled ruefully, and left the room.

What's the Lone Ranger going to do here?

Not the real Lone Ranger, surely?

"Ummm, that right Kemosabi."

Kid Ahmadinejad has called 'im out "Meet me at the U.N you Great Satan."

Cisco Chavez disses him with impugnity, "Hey Gringo, to help Yr. poor have heat in their casas, we fart in Yr. direction," Cisco loves the Pythons.

How will Run-away-Sooey handle this dilemma? You got it.

Deciding's easy, but how do you delegate a showdown?

Easy, same as it ever was.
The M.O.= Chicken out and run away,(Sir Robin), always worked, so far.

Trouble is he's got a terrible itchy trigger finger.
EEKs, shoots and cleaves.

Tells Jesus Christ to "Sort 'em out," and he's either at the ranch or on the plane.

So who's going to bell this pussy?

Tune in next week, all you little Buckeroos, when we'll find out down the road "Why the Chicken is so cross?"

Happy trails, 'til then.

Newshounds cringed as the Yellow Rose stumped on his porch with guns ablazin' yesterday.

Noteworthy, among much collateral damage, was Nelson Mandela.

The bad news? Buchanan's dream, "All out, culture War."
The good? "U.S.A. low on ammo" reports the A.P.
....or visa versa, depending on Yr. point of view.

The "Leader of the Free World" unlike Miss Otis, won't even send his regrets to the Iranian University, but will have someone take a leak on his behalf citing a schedulling glitch involving a cookout for THE BASE.

In a "Bury the Hatchet" gesture, some of those "Choice Folks" will cater the Annual Born Again, Bomb the Clinics+Chicken BBQ on the South Lawn.

That the service includes nothing but devilled eggs will go un-noticed as the differential is far too fine a point for the celebrants of "Intelligent Digestion."

Yeehaw, are we havin' fun yet?

"Shoot Me the Juice, Bruce"

After recent tryouts in Miami, the revival of the original L.A musical production of "Orenthal Arrestes" has opened in Vegas for an extended run, guaranteed: thru 20 Jan 09.

The score, losely woven around the '65 hit "I fought the law and the law won," has been tweaked by an script-doctor known only as the running K~TB~R, an old western brand.

Songs in the show feature terrific hooks reminiscent of the smooth stylings of the Texas Troubadors whose ex-lead is now looking to form a new group due to the recent retirements of most of TT's original ensemble.

The book, loosely based on the noteriety of Jack Johnson, Jesse Owens, Joe Louis and yon Cassius of Louisville, is a cautionary tale for uppity folk everywhere.

Wildly popular with the public, although early reviews are mixed, this mounting bids fair to be a useful divertimento in these troubled times.

"Hinterland? Who Knew? F.U." Baird

Amongst Canadians who are over fifty and still boldly, if briefly, go beyond their thermostatically controlled cocoons, the the great CWS ads of yesteryear conjure times long passed before the housing crunch hit major mammals, except us.

Today we discover that our enviro- Chief, John Baird, an honourary Athabaskan ("Greasy Waters,") has been forced to disband the CWS.

Applying the CWS budget to the "Ionic Swiffer Vacuum Clean Air Initiation" due to kick in circa 2050, the Minister allowed " We could buy a decent used Leopard tank (sans A/C) for that kind of dough," adding "We're still workin' the details, so you'll have to bear without us."

In a strange, yet eeriely, similar synchronicity, rascally rustlers corralled every last Moose (In T.O.?), to the dismay of patio naturalists, up+ downtown.

Don't touch that dial.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

"Caledonia, Caledonia, What makes Yr. big head So hard"

So Yr.a rugged, libertarian, law evading, right thinking, pious land developer,("Dolphin Estates," guess the Mascot!) who once paid some taxes, and you want to talk about property and rights, O.K.

So Yr. a rugged, holistic, law evading First Nation's Warrior, whose peoples only participTory part, in this deal, is relinquishing all the Capital and Yr. (AIM) is appropriately addressing ancient+current rights and property, O.K.

First, let's all have a smoke, say from a pipe, tobacco, bitter vetch, sweet grass, hash, mortgages, by-laws, chacun a son gout.

Like a "Peace" pipe.

Then let's PowWow.

When the boyz say "We're revolting," the gurlz say "We know, so what.....are all the guns for."

Who could it hurt?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Petreaus, Indefinite on Iraq+Pronouns

More gripping testimony, on the surging Occupation of Iraq, this week, from Head Honcho Petreaus who, oddly, "Didn't know whether these (long sad) years, (of looting, raping, pillaging and slaughter) had made America any safer (whatsoever)."

He prefaced his report by insisting that nobody, not Fallon, Gates, Rice, Cheney, Bush or his Mom had had even a peek at it.

'It' being....'this,' the specific hard copy, in his hand, now, printed ten seconds prior to his show+tell.

Can you parse the dangling parti- of/by the dis-ciple here?

Right, no hint, except covert, crafted, plausible deniability, of being 'closeted' all week with some/all of "Senior" leadership above discussing "it."

It's a knack, how to spin "it."

So 'it' is 'this' and that's that, (QED)

Evidentialy sometimes, Heros are sandwiches, Cigars are smokes and a Sub is just a peoney.

The great thing about being the Decider is deciding to delegate.

Among the many novelties advanced by the Bush Gang is the constant delegation of responsibility, the "Buck stops....over there, anywhere but here." theory of Leadership.

And while General P. was thus engaged, who was watching the store/fronts, in Iraq?

Yet another grand jete, quad axel, in the tuck position, with three and a half twists, and Bob's Yr. uncle, Fannie's Yr.aunt.

It,takes your breath away; Bravo, fortissimo! Though its curtains for the rest of us muggles.

Gonzo+ T.Blossom may have left the building but they are still being channelling in Congress.

Many moons ago, the estimable Groucho told someone, maybe Cavett, of a knotty legal problem required the att. of his attorneys, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz esq(s), so he gave them a call.

The fellow answering the phone explains, at the outset, that Mr.Schwartz is unavailable, on holidays or some such. Groucho, unabashed, asks to speak to Schwartz, only to be fobbed off again with another excuse. This pattern repeats four times until his final request for Schwartz is answered with...."Speaking."

This is how they, (The Ex Post Factos), treat everyone, all as sundry.

Christmas is coming, but the Sanity Clause, (slouching towards Baghdad,) still seems a long ways off.

"I shall be 'sad' of another death," and so must we all.

At least we know who's at the end of the line, wiggling, not at the thought of the hook, but halcyon days to come, "..coffers to replenish."!

Someone more skilled at forensic blogging than us might, usefully, answer this:

How many troops were schedulled to rotate out by the first of the year, anyway?

The body of MoveOn's notorious ad is accurate in fact, and the punning of names is legit. (QED)

Sadly, the puny "Betray-us", lacks both wit+worth and is prima facie infra dig, if not quite the treasonous act alledged by neo- nitwits, privately giggling at this infantile gift donkey.

A veritable molehill compared to the mountain that was the Swift Boating of another much decorated veteran.

S.O.P. for the C.H.C's

Considering that this quagmire is, step by step, Vietnam deja vu, perhaps a caption, plus apropos, may have been,

"General, remembering 'Tet' (pray) pay us, the courtesy of the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

My word, this is wearisome work.

Goodnight to Frank+Dilys and Dennis+Anne, where ever you are.

CNN out Foxes Murdock

Early reportage on the doings in Washington yesterday clearly demonstrates the extensive and prevasive "Liberal Bias" in American Media.

The usually demure, with that "Mona Lisa" look, CNN's Ms. Malveaux, appearing as though she was about to upchuck, rallied to read it off the tele- prompter, paraphrasing here:

A few yellow-bellied, greying old hippy Peaceniks momentarily abandonned their bongs just long enough to briefly delay some Hummers on the avenues in the Capital today but they were quickly shouted down by a huge crowd of Patriotic, Highly Decorative Veteran(arian)s who just happened to be in town for Prayer Services to honour of the Greatest President of the Greatest Country on Earth, (Shrub).

A spokesman for the Real American Eager Eaglets peeped 'Its a Christian thing, after services we like to (s)troll the Mall (washrooms) handing out fresh baked Apple Pie to the residentialy challenged, inviting them to give their hearts to "Transplants for Jesus."

"Livers, kidneys, corneas, and particularily prostates are in short supply," and we think that everyone ought to put their shoulder in the soup, it's only Fair."

Tune in later when Dr. Sayhey Scoopja chats with Sen. Dr. Full Briss about timely HMO cutoffs, in semi-medical terms.

Hebrews 5:7


For Sunday Talk to insist on beefing up loitering laws by folding them into the Patriot Act and brooking no delay in instituting a defence fund for Belecick financed via tax chertoffs.

On Mclaughlin Grope, don't miss Beanie Blankly's, always intriquing choice of suit-shirt-tie combo, indicative of his great breadth and surface tension, over things both wide+shallow.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Native Rights, If He Could Chuck, Wood Chuck? You Betcha.

Old U.N. Hands all abuzz today, as Canada's stock, well, it continued to tumble on Chuck Stahl's curious assertion that afirming Aboriginal Right, as did 99.44% of the Assembly, some how conflicted with our Charter?


Once again, here we go, swing Yr. partners, ring-around- the (Mayberry) bush with our fellow Kyoto deniers, USA! USA!, the soon to dryup+blow away Aussies, and Kiwi Cloud Cuckoo Land.

At least this "cluster_" is real, unlike who's/how many in the cohort, constantly claimed by Disideroso, fumbling around in Iraq.

Imagine, Doc Daneka 'splaining this to Yossarian "That's some coalition, that Group 36."

(BTW, the unsung hero of Joe's great novel is Camp XO Major__ de Coverly, who returns from leave to encounter starving troops signing multiple Loyalty Oaths in front of the mess tent.

Imagine that. Plus ca change...etc.

"Gimme Eat!")

Now, veering back to our topic, Chuck, displaying an heretofore, unsuspected expertise in "Internal Law and Rights, right? I'm not just winging it here" right.

Strahl, the jovial ex-strip logger, suggested that the Harper consortium wasn't firm yet on the specifics of the contradiction.

But "By God, I know uppity redskins when I see 'em" adding "I hear tell some of these so-called 'treatises' go back hundreds of years, I'm not sure what they are all about but they obviously deserve more study" and "... us palefaces can see the woods for the tees."

Opposition Parties suggest that stihl stahlling on this issue is a clear-cut case of seedy selectivity and cite Stahl's earlier attempts to sell the Wheat Board to Wonder Bread as still another half-baked notion germanated by greedy guys.

Cautioned by reporters that his characterization of First Nations Peoples might be construed as demeaning Strahl chuckled, "Hey, didn't ya see that Bob Hope movie? Its high time those injuns got a sense of humour" adding "Anyways,we're headin' for a pejority in the next election. Later boys, I've got a foreskin waiting at the club."

The P.M., still waltzing matilda with Cobber John, down under, expressed confidance in his guy for affairs with Indians "Hey, its his first time in the big apricot, any more of those shrimp on the barbie?"

Critics note an unusual pattern emerging among the Minority Cabinet Stars, Rona's grasp of environmental stuff, charming Europe, then Gordon's steady stewardship on torturing Afghanis and Harper's own aping of the Decider's notion of due process+ staring decisively. Now this.

Meanwhile, our measured approach to Native Issues now is deemed 'Genocidal' by Human Right's watchers worldwide and the Arctic will be tropical long before the Leafs make the playoffs.

In other news, the International Red Cross reports that Omar Khadr now resembles a puddle of strawberry jam.

Move along folks, nothing to see here.

Covert Terror Strikes Gitmo

RED ALERT: The AP reports today that some "Islamo-fascist, heathen, un-lawful combatants", have cunningly 'breached' the super-duper security at Scandals, (Guantanamo Bay) and are sporting illicit skivvies in direct+flagrant defiance of U.S Interests everywhere.

The blogisphere is abuzz with the, troubling, well neigh terrible implications of this latest propaganda ploy by al-Qaeda.

V.P Cheney, never one to quail, shot from the hip noting "I was in Prague for a meeting, called the camp, gave 'em an 'Atta' boy, see, told you more attacks were coming".

On site Military spokesman Lt-Col. Ed Bush (sic) briefed reporters on the Pentagon's swift response to the threat, "We've taken to the boats and will stand off until our intel experts can accurately assess the threat".

Mucho Cubanos were seen waving, a hopeful, vaya con dios towards retreating Yanquis, from beyond the razor wire that keeps the beach secured, 24/7.

Alledgedly, like the U.S Foreign Legions in far away lands some miscreant detainees are Under Armored and are using contraband Speed-Oh when will we ever learn, the ends to which they will go to surriptitiously cover their skimpy assets?

Erstwhile Sen. Larry Craig told the A.P "We must get to the bottom of this or the whole program is in danger of going down the toilet"

Rumours of contract offers, from Both Fredrick's + Victoria's Secret for "Targetted Market" modelling, as yet are unconfirmed.

"Obviously this elevates the threat, Clearly we have no choice butt to go to Red" said Sec. Jherkoff, " It just chafes my butt when this happens".

Duct Tape, Vaseline and PrepH are expected to open sharply higher on Monday, both currency speculators and hedge fund biggies will give their positions a wider stance in early trading.

Sen. Barbara, out walking her pooch, "Ali" was, as ever, last in the caucus to understand "Gotcha."

Pres. Bush may, someday, brief us on this and a laundry list of related issues, +
"Sometime, somewhere, we'll find a world full of something."

Don't hold Yr. breath, unless Yr. strapped to a board,
Submerged in thoughts, some not quite Christian.

Friday, September 14, 2007


Up/outstanding among many neocon phallusies is their constant erection of a profound + abiding, knowledge+understanding + respect for all things, Churchillian.

Excepting, of course, his profound grasp of World Affirs, his wit+wisdom, front line experience in South Africa, Crimea, Mesopotamia, WW1, Naval Person, Versailles, The "Quiet Time," Hitler, September 1939, Naval Person11, P.M, WW11(He won it), Literature, History, Art, Music, Water-colours, Brick laying, "A History of the English-Speaking Peoples" a Nobel and Clemmie.

GWB is to WSC as- Let's have a contest- e.g. Kenny G. to Louis A.

But its Jingobells to the bank for the Pubic Pundits.

None of these brave wee lads/lassies have any 'personal' knowledge of wartime service but they have heard a little about it and hey, obviously Hogan was clearly heroic.

"Why clearly we are all just like Winnie in thought word and deed, see our 'Great Wartime Leader?'

Anyone who disagrees is, ipso facto, a snivelling surrender monkey, just like that guy Noel Chamberpot, in Madrid."

Ad nauseum.

This nonsense has great resonance among their credulous, historically illiterate domestic audiences.

The same ones who still believe Saddam flew all the planes on 9/11, but traction is somewhat less, elsewhere on Earth.

To be fair, (pro bono publico), some accurate intelligence may require some misdirection, sometimes.

Lush Limbo enjoys the odd cigar and evidentialy, many Pubic stalwarts fancy garters, and pretend to be Knights.

Their Grail is the most cherished of all S+B trophies,(Geronimo's skull, is just a decoy for us rubes at the sideshow.)

The "Keating Cup," also known as "Rugged Ronnie's Rustle" is emblamatic of the Highest Possible Political Goal.

Most Public Funds scammed into Private Pockets. Hooha!

Never, in the course of human history, have so few stolen so much from so many.

C'est tres simple, find a cheerleader, rig an election or two, corrupt the DOJ, hire a couple of Supremes, find anything to distract the dummies, pick Yr. partners and do-si-dough.

Carlyle, Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater etc. now steal monthly amounts that make all the predations of Ronnie's crew, taking down the S+L's, seem like chump change.

Their "Dragon", against whom they range their potent nitwiticisms is neither OBL, nor (insert any modifier)-fascists, its all those Others, or as Pogo noted, us.

"You're either with us or against us", hence Fearless has a perfect, nay righteous+imperative obligation, to do (With Yr. ass) what he may

On the other hand, Winnie's descriptive of the good old days when the Royal Navy employed "Rum, the Lash and Buggery" as inducements suits the pissants perfectly.

Its right up their.....well you get the drift.

In Real Time, there is a gathering storm, and its time again for a grand alliance lest the hinge of fate lead to tradgedy, while only pretenders caper in triumph.

If we defer closing the ring on these imposters any longer, our children will certainly judge us as Quislings, not really our finest hour.

The real WW11 analog to "Run-a-round Sooey," a premier propogandist poseur, who takes hasty flights in any+all emergencies, is Rudolf Hess.

If Valerie P. had been a char at Blenchley Park, many would have been summarily shot- and it may be time to direct more than subpoenas towards the bunker.

When,if not now? Who,if not us?

As soon as the ol' coffers are topped up, its off to Dubai to be closer to head office, also weekends with Bandi+Condi.

What extradition treaty?

DoDo Frum(p), (the 'p' is silent, as in swimming,) Resident, (hall and washroom monitor)
Callow Fellow in Mini-Conning at AEI,
Rejected at Canadian Customs, in keeping with Mom's last wishes.

UPDATE: 29 Oct 07

Sothebys expects WSC's painting, "Marrekesh" to fetch a million+ at auction as HST's Maggie wisely switches to Euros.

What with all those numbers, dots, lines!
Crayons still troubling, for Fearless.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

"We're Kicking Ass in Iraq"

In an earlier discussion of Run-a-round Sooey's assertion that "We're kicking ass" in Anbar, we dismissed it as standard bushwa by Bab's bellicose little bumpkin.

Mais zut alors, au contraire mes amis, ass was indeed being kicked in Iraq.

Extra, extra, read all about it:
"Bush Tells Truth",mais, malheureusement,en fin, pas de la vrai completement.

BTW, Purple Press, the steamy new imprimature of the Carlysle Group's publishing division announces a new Scooter/Lynn C. title:
"Mission, The True Story of O".
Critics who've seen leaked copies say "Its even hotter than Foley's e-males" and "...a real page turner".

As with everything said by any of these, as yet un-indicted co-conspiritors, one must parse each jot+tittle to the Nth degree.

"Clearly" as Snow (job/ball) constantly admonishes the WH press posse, contexual nuance is paramount in devining true meaning among the entrails of the chicken (Hawk, Cowards).

Turns out the ass belongs to....steady in the ranks...General David Petreaus! and the kicker...wait for it...was his boss, CentCom Chief Admiral Fallon who, evidently, regards Dave's tactics+ strategy as partisan political piffle.

Fallon on Petreaus, "He's an ass-kissing little chickenshit".
G2 on OBL, "I'm going to fuck 'em in the ass".
Fallon is the kicker, Petreaus is the kisser and Shrub is the...what's left here?

Strange, isn't it, that anyone might conclude the GOP (Gory Odious Pubics) consists largely of jejunely fixated poseurs.

Just the sort of useful leadership required as we face the cascading catastrophes of the new millenium; remember when Y2K was our biggest concern?
So let's get back to the venue of all this kicking, kissing etc.

In that Fearless the Decider long ago ceded all his Constitutional duties as CinC to "The Generals on the ground" excepting dressup photo ops, one wonders if some of the troops, ex-Specialist Pat Tillman for example, might have been less sanguine in their view of the erstwhile Guardist's mission in Mesopotamia, post Afghan+pre Persia.

The "Problem" with the Iraqis is their silly reluctance to pass THE OIL BILL thus consumating the wet dreams of Lush and the Boyz+Condi to control the flow and skim 70% of the booty over the next 30 years.

Their entire agenda is rendering "Quaint" any law, government, one or thing as any impediment to The Bidne$$ by Neato trick, this is the beauty part, No-Bids-ne$$! These guys know their oil- from their Or- well, well.

Their method is highly energetic and, by the way, "Don't mess with Texas" and don't delay redistricting while you're at it.

Next time you're having a nice long soak, remember that 'Chopper' Norquist has NO sense of humour, whatsoever, and he' (s) mean (s) it.

Disclosure: Not to be confused with the marketing group vending shoddy gear, stiched in shanties by enslaved children in far away lands, like the admirable Fallon we really are "Old Navy," and note his well cut jib.

Fallon's salty wisdom give us some faint hope that the CHC's third hap/hopeless front, so cherished by "Defer me 5x, shame on you", Cheney may be averted.

Only tattered remnants of the U.S. Army, Marines, Guard and Reserve remain, after 5+ years of Keystone Kopping in Kabbala.

Unlike the poor brave Iraqis, throwing rocks at Blackhawks, Iran has a first class (viz. kick ass) Air Force and plenty of modern misslery pointed directly at Fallon's Navy in the Gulf Region.

And, (Pay some slight attention here, it's a good clue) about a quarter 25% of the U.S. of A.'s daily oil delivery, transiting Hormuz, every day.

This passage is less than 6K wide and very shallow, and the (goddamn, shitflame, slambam, Yeehaw) oil, is in Like, Boats you would not Believe! Ripley.

Remember the first time you Saw the the Lucas "Empire's" Dreadnought?

ULCC's, haulin' Two Million bbls each, how big? how "Sea Friendly?" picture the Hindenburg in a Class 5+, dire straits indeed.

Just one sunk and the tap's off, how will rich white folks get the gas to run the two-cycles to have their "Temporary Help" blow autumn leaves at each other?

"Jose, can you see, by the dawn's early light?"

Notwithstanding the "Defence" budget, now breaking the Trillion $ mark, plus another Trillion, or so, Jack-Stay Transferred, late at night, far at sea, between+among the CorpMilPol (Slealth) Corporations many vessels.

For sure, they Love to be Offshore so they fly, for reasons obviously and clearly, knot patriotic, under Flags of Convenience.

See Tony, that's what those adverbs are really meant to do, they're not synonomous with obscuranto and 'knock off' visine.

All you History Buffalos, Top Ten U.S War "Victories" 20th+21st centuries?

Show Yr. work, and defend Yr. positions, Lock+Load.

Excepting Reagan's triumph in Grenada and Bush One's spectacular use of the potent power of the "Pina Colada" song etc. to force Manuel to vamanos the casa, (Torture has always been as 'American' as apple pie), the pickin' are slim.

The U.S Military has always been most useful in advancing corporate interests, (USS Sand Peebles) but whenever the local response was say, robust, (Yalu river+ Vietnam+ Iraq) most objective observers are in no doubt over whose ass was kicked, excepting nuclear attacks on civilians.

Imagine, what might it be like if we all quit kicking ass and instead, Talked Things Over.

"Talk, talk, talk is better than War, war, war."

Would it kill ya?


For Theodoric of York as, no surprise here, Bush's pick to fill Gonzo's huaraches at DOJ.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

"Push Polling", Harper's Roving Draws Raves from Rubes

Predictably, Steve's clarion to Canucks concerning scarves is a huge success spreading fear+loathing across the Dominion forced, by scheduling issues, to go eight weeks per annum without advice from Coaches' Corner on the Satanic nature of furriners.

See, Steve gets snippy over Laws, even those recently amended by Steve+The Boyz,(C-31: sub: voter ID), when they seem to conflict with his political trump card, petty, pathetic pandering.

Channeling the late great Emilie LaTella, on SNL, not even being wrong is powerfully persuasive polity.

Pose a false premise, sing a silly syllogism, concoct a cuckoo conclusion, conflate with current crazes, call for Swift ack-shon and the Boats slip+proceed. Beauty eh?

This "Story" has it all. Sex, racism, xenophobia, F+L, terror, fundamentalism (viz. definition of, this site),and bestest,a well tended audience ever alert for the opportunity to "Ride off in every direction".

Congrats, Steve, honoris causa, you've successfully advanced to grade 2 in KKKarl's extention school for neoconnery+dark arts(Hogwash).
Next semester: Righteous Reactionarianism.

N.B. Lexis nexus ca. discovers nowt on voter fraud involving hats etc. but ya never know, if Grandma had wheels she could be a bus.

P.S. This sorry saga is clearly unrelated to By-elections en La Belle Province.

Je me souviens.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Chickenhawks,"Full o' Bluster," Trump Chickenshits

So is that all there is?

Can it be that the "Petreaus Report"and sidekick, the "Crocker Con Job," has come+gone?

Nice (Rovian) touch at the outset when the "Greatest Deliberative Body in the Whole Wide World" couldn't muster a working microphone, then came the Fireworks; buckle up, lock+load this is it.

The Mighty Boreal Wind of Autumn (Keewatin) will sweep away the miasmal smog of mendacity attendent on everything Bushy.

The "Greatest Nation in all of History, chosen, BYGOD" to lead us all , will rise up to "Preserve, Protect+Defend" its Constitution.

"Against any Peril, without or within", "Land of the Free, Home of the Handgun," evidently, not so much.

Earnest Dems whining over minutia are constantly, cunningly countered by Patriotic Pubics defending Old Gory and each and every one making Jubilation T. Cornpone speachifin' 'til boggled the mind.

You can invoice all you want but it's hard to bill a fluster.

When, at four score+, Sen. Warner manages the only question of any gravitas, we can only watch in shock+awe.

As to the elegant logic displayed by the rest, not since the height of the Richard Simmons crusades have so many undistributed middles been it one place, at one time.

Post hoc cruising thru the Progblogs in search of balls will avail you naught but whinging on cringing?

Now the Malls are open Sundays and like, all that protest+ marching stuff is so sixties and besides its NFL/Jasus Day.

Right on Babies, and Pat Tillman? Like we've been there, done that, like its so yesterday and anyways he read some Chomsky. (QED)

Oh, there's still blather aplenty from chickenshits about chickenhawks and wannabe swinging dicks, supphose, subpoenas, suck on this or that, maybe your thumbs.

The only surge that's working is CYA, at un-precedented levels, making Nixon look, not just great, but Glorious.

There is no Honour or Victory to be salvaged out of this morass.

Here, let's consider the efficacy of those damned Dems abandonning "Quagmire" as a useful metaphore with which to beguile a populace, 30% of whom opine that the U.S.A and their German pals saved the World from the Godless Russians.

Tell 'em its a "Morass," how hard can it be to weld that, oddly lubricious, but maleable multi-purpose word onto the Gory Odious Pubics, the hoi polloi will get the drift.

Its high time we recalled how Jacob Too Too (and his coalition) vanquished the dreaded "Hooded Fang."

Speaking of swinging dicks, some redemption would flow from selectively straining some Pennsylvainia Ave. lamp-posts, soon.

But Yankees, as brave as Roumanians? As if.

Of course, none of this matters a tinker's damn.

Ecologically, our ends are in plain sight and Arbusto's legacy is the theft of a crucial eight years when we might have done other things.

Sic transit hominum, T.S.E.

Coming soon:
The serge morphs to gaberdine then seersucker then wall to wall Persian carpet bombing, forcing the Iranian/Russian/Chinese alliance to bitch slap U.S neocons back into the stalls.

Caution: War will give you gas, maybe.

Buenas noches, mi amigos, vaya con Gaia and goodnight to the Jims, Lovelock+Hansen, and Mrs Calabash wherever you are.

Three Card Monte

While the Arctic continues to melt at rates unprecedented in homo history our P.M Harper, an acknowledged expert on this epoch, (He sometimes inverts some terms), and his chosen General Hillier have recently espied some more pressing issues requiring our immediate attention, to wit:

Danger, danger!

Absolutely, a grave threat to toques+bald spots ad mare usque... etc.

Soldiers use cannabis!
No one could possibly have predicted this.

Wait for it! Best+last,
The Senate!
Jaysus wept,byes.

Please list these terrors in order of your personal priorities and send them to ten friends.

Maybe we can get in on the bottom of a Ponzi scheme.

Let's revive the original etymology of the word "Dope".

Or, we could chose to shuffle the deck.

Its our casino.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Monday, Monday

Among the latest syncophantic sophmoric spinners, setting us straight on the real world, to emerge fully blown, from G2's W.H., my favourite is Fran(Frau Blucker)Townsend.

In a star turn on the MSM sunday, she amplified Fearless's dictum "See,I'll git 'em.... 'Dead or alive'......'Bring it on'....I....uh.. really don't...ya know...know where he is....don't...uh... think..about it....uh...much" with the stunning news that OBL is not only irrelevant, he's the leading candidate to succeed Bob Dole championing nifty remedies for the terrible scourge of --- ah, E.D.

In the sweet bye+bye how will we explain cialis ads, on the evening news, to our Grandparents?

Entre nous, 4 hours is chump change for us Tantrics.

In other breaking news, rising to defend the honour of a sweet Canadian maiden, Kid Rock decks Tommy, top lad! Watch this space for defence fund details.

"The Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with live ammo" Lily T.

NFL resumes nonstop challenges,timeouts,viagra ads,lots of inciteful colour (See that Bubba,a reverse is when someone goes the other way!) Amazin' Bills find a way......again!

Not one word on the lateness of Pat Tillman, Hooha!

John(The Walrus)Bolton chides European oysters on questions of 'Needs'.

No one thought to ask Petreaus to confirm or deny G2's assertion of 'Kicking ass'?

Whose ass is being kicked?
Who's doing the kicking?
Is ass kicking a tactic or a strategy?
Does ass kicking work?
What are recent or historic examples of successful ass kicking, other than Grenada and Niceragua, the U.S.'s last wartime 'victories' since belatedly assisting the Commonwealth+Russia in Europe?

Can Niceragua continue to exist now that the CocaCola/Bechtel J/V has trademarked the name to use as a premium brand of bottled water in Mexico+S. America?
It tested 'off the chart' in Tex-mex communities along the Rio Grande where nice, ice and agua are all short, on the supply-side and contains a great subliminal anagramic tribute to 'Twenty mule team borax' Ronny.
How sweet is that? Does this augerin a new era of marketing? Is there a Nicerosa followup flavoured island fruit?

Were the nuclear attacks on Japanese civilians ass kicking?

Whose ass got kicked in Vietnam?
Was Dien or Bien or is that just not Phu?

"Rented a tent,rented a tent, rented a rented a rented a tent"
Kurt V.

Replaying 'Miss Sarajevo' and assorted operatic requia all weekend, sadly drowns my pet doormouse.

Disclosure: There's a story about Gus Flaubert at his local after a long absence from absinthe due to the blues attendent on scribes de temps en temps. Asked ca va bien? he replied the day had been exceptionaly productive. Pressed for detail, he explained that the entire morning's work on the manuscript had climaxed with the detection of an errant comma, which he deleted. This decision, however, weighed heavily on his mind pendant tout l'apres midi, until just before supper, with a triumphant flourish, he replaced it.

The initial beauty of blog posting is found in the catharsis of rant but the lasting lesson is in the edit. No matter how wildly errant the draft it can always be retrieved; redemption is always just a keystroke away.
That said, for most of my life sharp pencils+lined pads were my outlet.
Now I play with this wondrous toy, still in candle light, with dexterity that now approaches two fingers.
Long an adherent of self medication(Cognac+cannibus concentrate from Mesopotamia) I've noticed a craze for commas comes over me in the wee small hours.

L'entente cordiale de ces petites pensees is laughter at the state we are all in, especially my lunatic self.
I'm not much on spelling and less on punctuation but getting better at rassling commas; semi-colons? maybe in the next life.

So,gentle readers, try to remember when life was slow+oh, so mellow; none of us is getting out of this alive.
Don't fret, few among us have any idea about what I really think.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Steve's singular sense of style

In goose step with neocons everyehere,our Rt. Hon. P.M.,is picky/choosy about Laws, some he likes, some, not so much.

Unperturbed by the unilateral + compleat contravention of all Law (Common, Canadian, U.S. and International) since the Magna Carta, by his chum_ (The final 'p' is silent, as in swimming) G2, Harper continues to ignore the tradgedy of a Canadian child being held, by G2, without warrant or recourse, in Cuba.
Guantanemera!, go figure.

"See, the kid has a 'funny ' name", Omar Khadr.

No habeas, no process, five years in Gitmo during which, his U.S. Torquamada's have repeatedly tortured+abused him to the extent that his few remote interlocutors now describe him as terminally damaged both physically+mentally.

The apocryphal 'charges' include:
1/ His extended family knows the Bin Ladens, (Albeit not nearly as imtimately as the Bush Gang)
2/ While visiting relatives in Afghanistan, their home, where he was staying, was attacked by elements of U.S. Special forces using, amongst other ordinance, two 500 lb. "Bunker Buster" bombs, killing everyone but him.
3/ As the only survivor of this initial onslaught, the brave marines threw grenades at him while he lay wounded in the rubble.
4/ He managed to throw one back and the subsequent explosion killed one of his attackers and wounded others.

At the time he was 15 years old.

Of course Omar's real crime is "Otherness".

'See', Khadr's a Muslim and according to Steve's mentors in all things neo-con (The Yellow Rose, Luntz, Conrad et al), Muslim=Islamo-fascist terrorist, heathens who hate our whatevers.

Sadly, some Canadians are just (Harper's) base enough to (s)wallow all this drivel.

When queried regarding a prank at APEC (See Flags...below) Harper allowed "Its a matter for (local) law enforcement".

Now, while our brave troops are dying (Pari passu, under G2's command+"Smart bombs") to bring 'Freedom to Afghanis', particularly women, our Leader has detected a pressing peril in our polling booths, hijabs+burkas

All those who agree that this is a Front Burner, Elevated Alert, National Security issue, hands up, then try to find your fundaments with either, or both, paws..

Actually Steve, here in 'Soviet Canuckistan', we have (Local+ federal) laws regarding establishment of identity, at the poll, by citizens who may wish to vote,

Of the three main options available to us, a neighbour can vouch for us or, any two pieces of authentic, coincident, government issued I.D. that proves residence will suffice; its the law.

Photographic identification is another option, unlikely to be chosen by those of us who wear the hijab in public places such as polling booths.

That's the law, our law, decided law, and if you find this law upsets you and the rest of the bigoted morons among us, call Parliament to order, put it to a vote.

All parliamentarians swear an oath to Her Majesty and by extention, to uphold our laws, not indulge in racist cant.

Ex parte whining aside, if you or anyone has any evidence of how hijabs imperil the nation, or soccer matches, show us.

Better yet, let's have an election, soon, before Ramadan, or Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Divali so that having done something useful, we can celebrate, tous emsemble.

Some of us expect a little more than jingoistic whimsy from our P.M.

Quit embarassing us, worldwide; oh, and that (shooting?) vest you fancy in photo ops, lose it.

It makes you look heavy, not in a good way.

cc Jeanne Becker, Fashion TV.

"What to do, What to do?" said the Rabbit

As Sly observed, some people love to burn, but its a family affair.

We, all of us, are mad for burning up fossils, whenever we can, wherever we can, as much as we can, as fast as we can.

"See, we need the energy, to.............uh, grow the ecomomy".

Every thing is smokey and its getting smokier, faster.

Smoke gets in our eyes, smoke gets in our eyes.

But hey, Gaia smokes,right?
Absolutely, vous etes tres drole.

But its our smoke, not Her smoke, not solar smoke, not volcanic belches, not cow farts, not forest fires, not any decay, nothing in the organic cycle pollutes,except us, our smoke.

We pollute everything with our smoke.
We are the only species that has ever smoked, just us,our smoke.
Our unique contribution to Life, smoke.

Our ashtray is the air, water, earth, the whole Biosphere, everything, everywhere, every molecule.
There is smoke on/in the water, fire in the sky.

We must stop smoking fossils.

Will Mom tidy up our mess?
Yes, She always has+will, to which the many millions of ex-species attests.
But She has no qualms about our quaint anthropocentric notions.
She'll be comin' round...... when she comes.

She's the strictist constructionist and Her laws, (Math, Physics, Chemistry, Biology etc.) are immutable laws, of which some us us dimly perceive maybe a jot, not quite a tittle, but ignoring what little we know will not excuse us.

Life is a brief opportunity to either catch Her drift or drift away.

All Life, for about 4.5 billion years, being in the same boat, so to speak, has had to negotiate+ compromise to survive.

We don't negotiate.

We make war, on everything, even each other.

Notwithstanding some trivial doctrinal debate, all of us are co-celebrants in the abiding faith of "Me, First, Most+Always".

We're all #1, Hooha.

We're also all fundamentalists; our favourite pastime is oogling, sniffing and pawing at each other's fundaments for signs of variance from the norm, whatever that is.

Almost all of our collective touching, of everything, is inappropriate.

We think brief surges are useful remedies.
Imagine that?

Unless we start, very soon, to learn to love and to love to learn, children, our ends are in plain sight.
Turn to the left and cough, boyz.

Its fundamental, we're late, we're late.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Fearless, adrift in OZ

Exuding the suave diplomacy for which he is famous, Barbie's Little Georgie (B.A History, Yale) charmed the Austrian locals at the OPEC meeting today with a spirited defence of Miss Teen S. Carolina, recently mis-underestimated by all+sundry in both the MSM+Blogisphere. (See 30 AUG '07 below)

Arbusto, fresh from kicking ass in Anbar, later dazzled Asian delegates at the karaoke, when, in his tribute to NOLA survivors he warbled a zylophone version of Dr. Jim's "I was in the wrong place, but it must have been the right wing".

Atoning for his testiness regarding the 59 year+counting Korean "Police action", "See, I like to keep 'em on their fingers, a little confusion is sweet" he quipped.

Queried on Osama's recent video, he allowed that "Anybody pickin' on Hillary" was jock with him and " besides, I gots me some coffins to top up".

Flags of convenience

Stevie, our current P.M. (Prime Muddler), opines on the recent security breach in Sydney: "Its a matter for local law enforcement" keeping his record of being not even wrong, intact.

Among the many pressing issues at APEC, he's big on product saftey, emulating Lou "Let's leap to conclusions" Dobbs in conflating trivial product issues with racial bigotry while ignoring the essence of democracy, our right to dissent.

The cheeky skit by an Aussie tv show, effortlessly gliding thru $250,000,000 of security to within McVeigh distance of the Yellow Rose's suite, was based in large part on the happy premise, widely held, that Canadians are not terrorists.

Given the longstanding predilection of citizens in the land of the Handgun to avoid richly earned, worldwide, opprobium by affecting Canadian Colours when they venture beyond the friendly confines, he might have offered some Maple leaf lapel pins to GWB+ his posse in exchange for what's left of our child in Gitmo.

As to the merry pranksters, they should add a warning to U.S citizens; don't try this at home folks; neo-cons ain't squeamish about gunning down children in the streets.

BTW, catastrophic climate change?,"That was the Liberal's fault".
For some of us in Canuckistan, 16 Oct '07 can't come soon enough; let's get this show on the road.

At the Heart of "Dover Beach"

Once upon a time, autumn was a time of misty fruition and the harvest brought joy, made us mellow.
Now, approaching the ides of September, we earthlings are subsumed in a toxic fog of fear+confusion.

"Sad faces, painted over with magazine smiles", but ya gotta have heart.

We are sad because we are angry and our anger is rooted in what we have sown, seen through glass, darkly tinted by fear+ignorance.

The conceit of specieal superiority has led to our polluting of the Biosphere such that cascading consequences are now beyond mitigation. Hubris begets Nemesis.

Gaia, having dealt with many uppity species, has time aplenty.

Meanwhile, our current trivial pursuits, slandering+slaughtering each other, continue, not just apace, but with increasing velocity.

In the current jargon there is something called "The Free World" nominally led by Himself, the Decider, a profoundly ignorant coward, marginally skilled at cheerleading a minority of witless bumpkins, and the rest of us, those frightful Others.

The widely predicted sound+fury, this fall in Washington, will be just a whimper, although bangs will continue elsewhere because of KKKarl's Texas savvy in manipulating the myth of U.S exceptionalism; they're all cattle-no hat, albeit well intentioned, like most of us Others.

So while ignorant armies continue to clash and the bomb loving, apocolyptic, G.O.P. (God's Own Pubics) continue to enthrall+hold sway, don't worry, be happy; we are all collateral damage in the end.

Be kind, do unto others, enjoy yourself, its later than you think.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Nessun Dorma

There are moments, even in terrible times, when laughter, our great defence against tyranny, will not suffice and this morning's news from Modena brings tears, far from idle.
Although his art happily remains, a great eloquence in the commonality of our musical language is stilled.
Nessun dorma, let no one sleep.

Mille Gracie,Buena Sera,Addio, Luciano.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Craig Redux! "The Hints just keep on Cumming"

Now that this misdemeanor (Da more I miss, da meaner I get) has tsunamied the MSM, mere updates to "Larry's last Stall", below, no longer suffice.

Watch for:
1/"..intention to resign............Sept. 30th" year unspecific.

2/"No misdemeanor conviction brought to Ethics Committee in Senate history".

3/ Ida+Minne, being "A long way out of town" from Washington, Craig's new theme, "It aint nobody's bidness what I do".

4/Billy Martin Esq., like erstwhile Yankee skip, will kick sand+bully the Ump to the delight of MSM shareholders and Dems.

5/Foaming at the mouth by McConnell, Graham etc. will be widely misconstrued resulting in Saxby Chandless becoming Pubic point man on this issue (Sample situational quote, 'Well Woof').

6/Dancing w/ Stars producers offer Larry/Arlen combo serious points in Iraqi Oil Bill to do the "Hokey Pokey" primetime, live during fall Sweeps.

7/To straighten the great ship of state, Rove has Dana brief in wet t-shirt.
Surely none of you munchkins think he really retired.

8/Crack, SAC, USAF crew from Minot draws first run to Teheran.
RNC surreptitiously tags plane "We No Law Gays".

9/ Mitt Moroni pledges to outfit all congressional pages with hockey gloves, ear plugs, ball gags and kevlar cruisers so as not to lead them into Temptation.
Gets Dobson's backing.

10/Thompson has every intention of declaring soon; names William (Wormtongue) Kristol media maven.

Stay tuned, me Hearties.

Texans Perplexed By Big Web Site!

The recent discovery of of a Big Web in a Texas forest has brought new fuel to the "Creationist Hypothesis" with some born again bio-ethicists theorizing that it was designed by "Intelligent" spiders to catch bugs.

As if!

The story caught fire on the Blogisphere over a post to "Pissed Off Americans With Guns"( great site) when a Crawford reader quipped:

" See, spiders, I hate 'em, live in holes, if we don't squish 'em there......"

Little is known about spiders, by Texans, except those who have rented "Arachnophobia," and they know plenty, more than enough.

In other Science News, today Monsanto fired Dr. A. Beaker, Chief of Laboratory Protoculs in their Genetic Splicing Division, for leaking.

See, by combining spider's silk and goat's milk, Monsanto had hoped to patent the World's Strongest chevre.

"I'm an innocent fall guy," Beaker retorted, while enjoying a quick lunch with associate Dr. Bunsen,(Tuna salad on a Bun)"Gee whillickers, whodathunk they'd drop me."

Evidently, huge portions of expensive lab time were wasted on the, (Top Secret) "Welsh leek/Assyrian donkey" Project.

Sadly, all the computer modelling predicted 'overwhelming' onions with much longer ears, (to infinity) rather than the, long hoped for, dreamy break-through.

"A piece of ass, so good, that it brings tears to your eyes."

Beaker hopes to hook back up with his old shipmates on the Orbital Porcine Continuum project, if he can make the grade, eh Lou?

UPDATE: 06 Sept 07
British researcher's claim of novelty, in hybrid (human/bovine) embryonic gene splicing, is hotly disputed by Bush's Special WH Advisor on Creationism.
The Right Reverend Buster Hymenary, on the "Fox" today, characterized the claim as "Udderly false" citing a "Proof" unusually proximate to the Prez.

"Why, ever since she was Greek Week Rush Chair, (Eta Delta Pi), in college, (Class of 1869) Babs Bush's Old Chums have always called her 'Bossy'."

"Pass that wild rice, would you Anne?

So, what's to drink?"

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Oz braces for visit by Jolly Swagman

Citing security concerns at the APEC summit meetings, PM Howard announced, today, that anyone in NSW not totally enamoured of the Yellow Rose will be transported to Tasmania for the duration.

In other local news, the last billabong dried up+blew away yesterday.

Also, unconnected to precipitous warming, Cobber John plans to introduce an edit to the much loved Anthem by changing "Waltzing" to "Weeping" hoping this novel "Moisture recycling initiative" will ameliorate the drought.

G'die, mites.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Bush, heading Down Under,drops in on Anbar Alamo

Opting for the scenic route to Cobber John's billabong, the Yellow Rose+posse snuck into Anbar's newest U.S bastion of Iraqi Freedom (Code name: Alamo Alternative) surprising+delighting:

1/Many bought+paid for Sunni Sheiks.

2/Happy Leathernecks, who, thanks to advanced training techniques, produced some hearty "Hoohas" when prompted by the fluffers.

3/Wolf (The Pupster) Blitzer+recently retired KKKarl.

Notable Noshows for the Leader/CinC, were throngs of flower strewing civilians,perhaps distracted by their usual Labour Day pursuits such as burying their dead+finding water.

Emboldened by the success of the Plastic Turkey Gambit in his earlier Thanksgiving Surprise, Fearless brought a little taste of home (Papier Mache Big Macs) for the troops.

Obviously, the junket is unrelated to highly anticipated Report now being packaged+polished in Karen Hughes' rumpus room.

Upbeat+enthusiastic, in spite of rumours of war with Iran, the Prez was delighted with Sunni hospitality, particularly the ancient custom of providing a small petting goat to honoured guests.