RED ALERT: The AP reports today that some "Islamo-fascist, heathen, un-lawful combatants", have cunningly 'breached' the super-duper security at Scandals, (Guantanamo Bay) and are sporting illicit skivvies in direct+flagrant defiance of U.S Interests everywhere.
The blogisphere is abuzz with the, troubling, well neigh terrible implications of this latest propaganda ploy by al-Qaeda.
V.P Cheney, never one to quail, shot from the hip noting "I was in Prague for a meeting, called the camp, gave 'em an 'Atta' boy, see, told you more attacks were coming".
On site Military spokesman Lt-Col. Ed Bush (sic) briefed reporters on the Pentagon's swift response to the threat, "We've taken to the boats and will stand off until our intel experts can accurately assess the threat".
Mucho Cubanos were seen waving, a hopeful, vaya con dios towards retreating Yanquis, from beyond the razor wire that keeps the beach secured, 24/7.
Alledgedly, like the U.S Foreign Legions in far away lands some miscreant detainees are Under Armored and are using contraband Speed-Oh when will we ever learn, the ends to which they will go to surriptitiously cover their skimpy assets?
Erstwhile Sen. Larry Craig told the A.P "We must get to the bottom of this or the whole program is in danger of going down the toilet"
Rumours of contract offers, from Both Fredrick's + Victoria's Secret for "Targetted Market" modelling, as yet are unconfirmed.
"Obviously this elevates the threat, Clearly we have no choice butt to go to Red" said Sec. Jherkoff, " It just chafes my butt when this happens".
Duct Tape, Vaseline and PrepH are expected to open sharply higher on Monday, both currency speculators and hedge fund biggies will give their positions a wider stance in early trading.
Sen. Barbara, out walking her pooch, "Ali" was, as ever, last in the caucus to understand "Gotcha."
Pres. Bush may, someday, brief us on this and a laundry list of related issues, +
"Sometime, somewhere, we'll find a world full of something."
Don't hold Yr. breath, unless Yr. strapped to a board,
Submerged in thoughts, some not quite Christian.