Thursday, March 19, 2009

Gary Goodyear, Tiresome Twit?

When U.S.A's ex-Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) dismissed the "Intranets" as "Just a series of tubes" some observers wondered if his reach had exceeded his grasp as the Chair of the Ways and Means Committee.

Now, our Kooky Kanuck, Minister of Science and Technology, Gary Goodyear (Con-Cambridge) explains specieal evolution in terms of solar variables, concrete and high-heeled shoes.

In this he fits perfectly with the great intellectual wits of Harpoon's cabinet, dim-, dumb-, half-, fuck- and nit-.

Someone should remind him, that where the rubber hits the road, a little Vulcanization is useful.

Beam us up, Scotty!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Harpoon stands on guard

The vigilance of Harpoon + Condi's chum is remarkable in light of the latest Arctic outrages by Russian bear(s).
Amazingly, they have noticed that when a plane heads north from Russia it points towards..... Canada! Who knew?

The notion that ancient propeller-driven aircraft on a routine patrol threatened us or Obama's Ottawa visit is utter nonsense but it's more fun than discussing the Great Depression of '09.

Imagine: 14 years in prison, for gardening.

Beware the Ides of March.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Prime Minister Bojangles

Harp's flacks flog further fictions to fawning CTV repeaters.

Never mind the Hollywood Stars, if fancy dancin' tickles Yr. fancy, watch the nifty neo-con footwork, on display, now 'til 08Dec08.

Evidently, the "inadvertant intrusion" of a semi-armed (tape/taser?) one of Harpoon's crew, into an NDP caucus mtg.(WTF?) "proves" that opposition parties routinely discuss alternate governance, en deux langues.
Wow! dey sho' profundis.

Bushy's little beaver's in check, and if the Commons can vote not to prorogue, that's mate.

Then we may have to endure a coalition representing +60% of us Canucks, led by the author of the Clarity Act, friend (+master) of Kyoto.
So, what's first, Senate reform and pubic posturing or the environment/economy/extinction issues?

Will no one rid me of these meddlesome priests?

Whaddya, whaddya.

Friday, November 28, 2008

"Time to get a haircut"

Wee Gimme, refreshed from a summer of BBQ fund raisers, amplified Harpoon's savvy fiscal advice as the markets tumbled, (Wow, bargoons!) moments ago by advising Canucks that job #1 is getting a "...haircut." sic(k).
It's comforting to to have this level of macro-economic expertise running the show in these troubled times.
In other news, now that the Arctic is almost ice-free, as the Oceans from fish, I'd like to get a mullet but my stylist says the seals ate them all.
How fast can we retool the auto sector to produce timbrels?
God knows we've got skilled labour and vacant capacity, particularly in Oshawa/Whiby.
But that would take guts, the kind we remembered on the 11th.
"At seven pm the main hatchway caved in; He said, [Fellas its been good to know you.]"
Happy Hols, fellow helots.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

ideas: can u kyoto? oh no, not yet! soon, we'll see, maybe?

The profound, abiding impediment,
To changing our constant bellicosity,
Is the, "God" given+holy endorsed,
Fundamentally, basic,
Ancient fable of (designated) anthro-primacy.

Rooted in, widely celebrated+eagerly parsed
Quran+Bible, by Old+Neo- Conservatorys of
Judeo-Christian+Islamic Tradition.
L'Chaim-Amen Lord-Insh'Allah.

(Brief) Fiatly, some infinite, (un-knowable)
"That than which none greater can be thought"?
St. Anselm's famous 'ontological' proof!
You, place, the, commas,,, sher, (it'sa) lock?

Super-natural agent, designed us and
Everything, (universally) granting some,
Limited working conditions, + overall
Semi-sovereignity, over everything.


Than the, "Chosen Few" Who,
Beauty Part? Quel Coinqu'-a-Dinck!
As it happens, are always+exclu$ively
"Them!" (never us)

Their extraordinary privet-ledges accrue
To (some of) them, in return for (pretty) strict,
Proscribed obeisance, worship, dietary laws etc.
In return for domains, dominion+(gloria)dominus,
Sex, drugs + what (for) ever. (something)

Ipso facto, us Earthlings are loco, (apparently)
Here, there, everywhere.

Also asserted is this agency's abiding concern+oft timely
Intervention, in reviewing (attendent) contractual
Niceties, (episodically) revising terms+conditions,
Usually via, ( soi-disant) interlocutors,+sometimes,

Wholesale, holus bolus,
Great Plagues of Frogs, Floods, Locusts etc.!

This vain, speceial conceit holds great appeal
Among (the most) recently, upright
Version of "Higher" vertabrates, particularly,

Jews+Christians+Muslims, too many of whom
Deign to practise their faith in the absence
Of the Prime Directive, so sayeth
Jehovah+Prophet+The Son+Many Alia.

"Do unto Others" Period.

"Do it, routinely, to everyone, everytime, 'cause
"It is Yr. Honour, Priveledge+ Sacred Duty."
According to ALL teachings.

Ya never know, last may be first,
All may be Vanity.

The Torah-Bible-Quran is an amalgam of
Ancient Myths, Legends+(some) History.
Weilded by jingo lingo+stone, lash, sword,
Chain, noose, gun+bomb by

W/ no New Testament, no modernity,
Fearfull, Hatefull, Frightened,
Wrong about Right(s)+Righteousness.

Never mind Diogenes, pay (close) attention
To "Gulliver," (ya yahoos)
" W/War, no one Houynymns."
Pass us an h.b. egg, Frau B., not that end,

"May Peace Be Upon.." Who Em, +When?

Historically, We all rest our (sorry) butts
On (our) clever technology as (conclusive) evidence,
Of a priori, "Primaturcy R US."

Much Mischief' lows from this
Fabulous mythic premise.

The Missing Middle?
The Curious Con-clusions?
This transparant tissue of silly syllogism,
Is the Rock,
Jerusalem, Mecca, Peter, Medina, Ages etc.,
Of that portion, of humanity,
Who can afford, to wear a watch. ( at this time)

All of it, apriori+pathetique,
Du U fallacy?

Meanwhile, back in the Biosphere.

"Commercial" energy usta come from us and small fires,
Then burdened beasts, the (local) old mill stream,
Then solid+liquid fossils, portable, convenient.

Lately, sadly it's evident that the (persistant) "Smoke"
From these fossil fires, much magnified,
In both kind+degree, causes long term
Pertubations in the Biosphere, some of which are
Becoming manifest, + even amongst smart cookies,
Their relative convenience/utility is some quarrel.

Meanwhile, outside our friendly confines,

Those (raining) frogs have managed (+/-) 250 M. years,
Without the help of intra-thermal facility, meters, or
Watches until now, so how?

Well, (not oil) they+(all) other life, (ever)
Elegantly, Balance, Passive,
Solar+geothermal energy, in vivo,
Where-ever! NoBat!
Sina, sans, none, no gadgittry!

They're also excellent at large choruses!

Makes Ya wonder, a (rib) bit, eh?

November ends, mild+rainy, solstice soon.
Strange Weather, pregnantly calm.
Glass falling, the sets getting Bigger.
Sun starting,
Back North, soon.

Those, "Arctic trails have their secret tales.."
Right, Sam?
Rubbit, ehya.

Drip, drip, drip...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

small incidents in solar incidencence

A far (northern) frog, of our aquaintance,
Prefers to take the sun on a deadheaded,
Semi-sunken, ancient White Pine, in Lily-pad cove.

Alee of prevailing winds, southerly ex,
360 vantage, in a curiously, singular spot,
Top o' da log, nicely interstitial, in consistant
Sunlight, from dawn to dusk,
Bono photo primo loco, ici.

While his (dwindling) company of mates have (long)
Burrowed in for the seasonal snooze,
There he was, (mid-November) catchin' rays,
Grinnin' (un) annui. (ed)

Suddenly a great, grayish goose,
Out of the high, honking skein,
Swooping down,
No talons, (raptorous pause)
Jus' gulp, gone!

Wilderness is a wonderful teacher but,
Frogs in November, gobbled by a goose??

Yesterday, a strange e-mail ribbetted in.

Well! We'll be a (rhino) bufo!

Sez we're remembered kindly, from the old hood.
Sez Florida Beachfront Available,
Never-never plan mortgages, cheap fire-water,
Many widows, (nae t' mousey)
Buy all means, Free Fruit Flys, Everywhere!

Sez us (reply) WTF happened to you?

Sez F.F., "Suddenly all was dark+discomboobulated,
"Nicely damp, pleasantly warm, so I burrowed 'round,
"After much trial+error, in the end, found
"A portal, stuck out my head. We were high
"In the sky! At first, the goose didn't hear me.
"When I got his attention, from behind,
"Over the honk-a-thon."

"How high are we?" sez us.

Flap, flap, flap, flap, honk,
Geese take their time,

"About 3200 feet." Sez he.

"You wouldn't shit me, wouldja, Mr.Goose?"

"Take a gander, I'm a South Beacher now.
"Locos say, lotsa prime pads, bored babes,
"Swash m' buckle!"

"Had da ride, so here I bide, woohoo!"

"Spanish lesson at 5, - - - -^
"Manicure at 6, - - - -
"Who says, you can't teach, - - - -^
"Old frogs, new tricks?"

Wilco(x) Roger+out.

"Harper Tans, Hides, Shops for Zinnias, Dark (In) Continence Whilst on Safari."

Having belatedly, begrudgingly, blundered into
Dar es Salaam, (RSVP stale-dated, IOU's NFG)
Joey (phew, who salaami?) from Leaside,

"Clearly" only (peripherally?) ta Sandra, a junket?

Buggering off, again, to escape
Much, richly deserved approbrium,
Chez lui, Canuckistan.

Notre Chef, Homme des Affaires Mondiales,
Who, unlike Mel, doesn't mind a big pot,

Weighed in on "The Strike," against Barrick Gold,
Where his deep (local) knowledge is 'clearly'
A great, ba (da) boon to negotiations,
"..Jus' lookin' after Canadian Interests.." eh?

There's this "Union"??
(Workers Joey, collective barganning, due process?)
Different than Alliances, say among Churches, or
Neo-Nit-wit CHC's.
"Heavens t' Murgatroid, Bobalouey!"

The (depressingly) usual crap:
Outrageously, the Watu are (asking?) for,
Cleaner, safer situs+(some?) participation
In (some?) of the Giant Profits,
Fais Dough-Dough!

Share holders+execs richly deserve their,
"Reasonable" rates of return, right?
"Free Trade"
F.(Rt.)Off, Swahili., right?

Their Country, Their Resource,
Via Their Land, Blood, Sweat, Tears etc.
Their Common Wealth, our Partners!
Joey's "Interests"?

Those Commie rat-bastards!

We shouda/coulda sent Mel, or
Any Boddeeeelse, ehya.

Touring Canucks should consider
Replacing TNS+F flags on Tilley Togs,
Decals, patches, tee-shirts etc.
W/Southern Cross on Ozzie Bluey.

Better a dry billabong than,
Da Lone Ranger's L'il Beaver.

"Ummmmuh, dat Right, Chimo savvy!"

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Mayberry's, "Barrel-o'-Busch" Putsch, Solo_Brau Now, How far the Harp, How high the Moon?

Somewhere... faint..... music,
How.....sweet.....the tune?

(As Mary usta say of Paul,
"Affordable, jus' Les."
Still Cookin' moreover+lately
Notwithstanding, sitting down.
Top Pick.)

Ah Bushy, "Dare-ya" on duh, Airya.

"Yodeleydee-tee, Yodeleydee-ooh
Who can we get to, "Da doo-ron-ron?"
Harmaniacally, (with G2?)
Inna dicky-duo, acappella, okey dokey,
Hunky dory, sticky fingers.
Sayz da Boyz, in range of us, w/da guns +

Long gone, Tony (Da Poodle/Piddle) Blair,
Chief asst. to Crusade 'r Babbitt,
New Brown, now nosing out,
Slipping+proceeding independently.

"Finally!'' Pepys' Sam+Nick Monserratt+Alistair+Farley,
"+Peggy+Noam+Maude+Linda+Stevie+Pauline J.
"+Emily C. ch'tc'hing Bill's read, (potlatch)
"Wealth, in Commons."

"...Arroooooooooh!" sez dos lobos, (des loos)
+Plus des nous, wolvers.

'Sure, 'tis a tearrible burden o' privet lodges,
"Orienting to 'Others'
Than one's Own-(Sweet)-Self, ehya.
"Lookit all of 'em Oysters, Wally!"
"Needs old lingos, Chimo savvy?"

Perverz (da Con) Much-$herrif, no catch'em,
"(Oh, Sin-laydin') Where ya gonna run to?"
Spot o' bother with, "Loco Demos" jus' like
"Our Busto!" boyo-hiya-hay-a-bay'us-nono.

The native's returned, to Rejakavik.

Lately, John of Oz discovers? billabongs,
Long gone dry! (Jolly/Good) Cobbers,
Oz-Mites myke changeroos, Bluey,
"Swagman Water-Boarded!"
Shed still windy? Cockatoo too?
Top Lad, Rolf.

Gunybaray, on alla Yrs.,
Long my She Ryynn! ehya!

Sotto Whom does Himself turn for succor,
Pucker and cover, whilst waning gibberous?
Ex-Post factotums, contrition-eers?
Los' migras beda be-leavers?
(Except some beavers)
Inna Coalition? Evidently.

Buttsee, many a mickle still mak's a Muckle
So Doh, $ee-Do Yr. Partners, Folks.
All Lame Men, Left'a'aboot,
Galoots, loot a lodz like,

Vesputin, G2's soul-mate/heart-throb, soon lost
That lovin' feelin', having sussed the
Benthicy depths, of Shrub's fuck-wittedness.
(Beer sale?+Troop Ship? No can do?? Fubar!)

Berlesconi's rigatroni's sin, inna pasta.
Treats, al frisco. (sous la table de ma Tante)

Le CutieSark, (nouveau) a Paris street Kid,
W/ (real) Masters' Degrees,
Ancient, old worldly (Hungarian!)
No bless obligaTory,,
Effing Nobility.

A Lui, da Shrub's, "Une poule, passante et pissante"
Pleasant (piquant) pluckings, foie gras.
"Peut'etre Mardi prochaine, du Choregeee?"

So Where on (diss) Earth,
Can a gimp, limp, bimp, fucka duck?

(Look out hits, 'acomin' 'round, agin' Folks!)

Who never gave a flyin'_!
(viz. ANGT+AWOL)
Find a fellow (FW) to share in,
"Da Plan, Boss"?

"Someone lickus, unnerstan's da base(sic)
"Values in d'Alliance!"

"Shucks Mah, (Bah Brahmine, Bossy also)
"Ah'm 'agittin' a'friggin' inna riggin'
''Ah'm a'Castro (-ped/ranged/) rodeod Gringo, 'agin'!
"+Dat's no bull, Mah!"

"Hugo? Evo? Gitmo? YoYo, Mah?"

"Uppity Tinpots, (Dicks! Mater!)
"On All Fronts! Mah!"

"Ah, butt one: hiya Harp, ehya."

"Leadin' to a neo-kinda righteous,
"Up North, among da commies. "

So good, so far, TNS+F now,

Fab Falsies, Southering, 'Weak Military'!
'Truthiness'? ehya-heya-noh-k'y-0t0?

"Northa' 49ers? Lak 'em 'Frisco queers, Dickster?"

"Ah MisPrez, You go, (yup)
"Yuh gott'er Potus (Pilot)
"Lead on GW!" (some [half'a] league, eh?)

"So, When's launch, Lynn?
"Whaddaya hear from da Rummys?
"Slam-Dunk, Da Pesto, Contrary Colin,
"Turd 'n Karen? Scoot 'n F'Ari?

"Gotta pretext, Xmax grifting!"
"Whutzup Mary?
"Can spoons gag, under-water? wiki later.."

The NeoNat Wet Dream of a greater,
Co-Prosperity Demi-Hemi Sphere.

"'YeeHaw, Stampede 'em Boyz!"

1/Poor, thirsty, hungry, homeless, hunted
Haunted Workers, from everywhere,
"Fais dough-dough, don'tcha?"

+Tazzzers? Dandy collectives, chips,
Amongst other, speicious neo-bargoons,
Under, the table, handed.

2/Yanqui "NoHow"Tm. plenty pats. pend,
(Wall St.>Ranch>Us)


3/"All those, ah, "Back-Forty" bits of
"Soviet Canuckistan!" seemingly,
"Suddenly," as Arte J. usta say,
"Verrrry ah, (point cig-holder, up) Int'rasc-ting:)"

Riparian Pubics, big on fluidity.

Watch: M. Shadows, TVO, twin-bill, Next,
(Precious fluids, birdee numnum-numbum 'um, Son!
"You'll answer to Coke, for this, Mandrake!"

Sez da Rose, (Tx. yellow) to trusty
(Neither -Apu/-apoo, nor -Joy, nor -Juicy, wtf?)

"Where ever, shall we find such a horse, Dick,
"So ignorant of Trojans, huh?"

"How 'bout Stiffy, Stuffy? Stubby? ahya, Steverino!"

"Da one s'poses licq Moi, inna
"Prophylacty-FlackyJacky, (inside out)
"Photo w/da Troops?
"Heh, heh, huh?"

"That'll do, Sprig."

Zoom in: Try Larger,
Be Bold Me Heartys!

Welcome home to Massey, Kiddo,
"Long may She roam......Helpless."

Open da (GD) roof, Ya Goofs!

"Fritzy, Dr. Bert, Buddy T., (Injun?)
" J.J.>T.C! G.S.H. esq., VanP., Kenny,
"Choo-Choo, Pepe, J.J.(+Leafs!)
"Zazu, Da Lincoln, Deiter, Mini-Mac, Milt,
"+A singular MinneBud bloomed northerly,
"Jeepers creepers!" some Galz, still (g)rant.

"Tony P. "Eye-chart," Pulling Guard!
"Le Gen Mon-petite Verdi,
"Best ever QB, when he could see,
"Between, over, around, under the lines,"
" +George?"
Well Chillums, ecoutez ici,

Latecut Importants, whod'an "Oppo"
To try, sooner or laterally, to impede,
(in any way) a young Jim Brown,
Came North only to find a
Faster Back-

"Not, 'nother nigra, scat-back,
"Jus' one o' da Boys, up chere, Bub."
"Strong+free, in Canada, eh?

-On a, "F-ing Huge" field,
"Who was some tough!"
On the D, (yards-wize)
Mes Cheres Enfants.

"Mon pays c'est hiver" Some still chantant, fous,
Sweet Prairie Meadows' Melodys,
Jaunty Jolies Alouettes.
C'est un Cri-de-Couer, - Sis.

Wind, Rain, Sleet, Snow,
Mud, Ice (Fog!)
Tous ensemble, rond en rond,
L'on y dance, l'on y dance.

"Gold'n Blues...forever, still, "
"Those Greens sure are,
"Prime Prairie Party Footys." Pals,
Of whom there are rarely enough,
"Vrai Canucks."

A Game, for The Cup,
Play up, Play well, Play Fair.

Hot Tip:
Hey Horatio!
In memoriam, (Marcel M.) mutely syncho a
Strayhorn part, in celebraytion, plastic,
Gesticulate con brio,
We'll gitcha, mo' bettah!
Mo'blatta upsets us airport Coyotes.

To da rye, Ginger!

Bonne Chance, Ah Canada.

UPDAte: maundy Monday, agin'?

Jolly good for Jolis Greens, on+off the Field.
+All CFLers who took the time to remind
Certain, Hoot-in- (Big City?)-Ninnys aboot,
Canada, Eh.

Mudhens+Sage Grouse can all agree,
Paul(Da Best, Ever, Any Sport, Anywhere)
Dojack, would get a kick
Outta Today.

Monday, November 19, 2007

"Sipi Ayisinowak Nikik {} Michif, Oohoo Awaz, Pipon Meta-Wik-Ke-Si-Kak!"

(River people otter {Metis Mischief} Michif
(Owls, Winterfest!)

Aborn amidst, (yet) another War,
On the banks of the
Mihkmaw, Roozh, Rouge!

Flowing North, ( Arctic 'Shed,
(Prairie+Shield) to The Bay,
From this Valley,
(Don't hasten, Darlin',
(To bid us adieu!)

Amongst settlements+entitlements,
That, wha'-tah-hoot-mon, pipi-wipi-nipi-sipi,
Came to be, pres-quah, Les

Ou, ditz dez Hiboos, qui creusez,
Comme laz' mores/modes/moods du temps,

(Plenty fish Ago, Rawh!
(P.Pipe/ PowWow Place!
(Grand Gruau,
(A la Carte des boeufs, Blanche,
(Potage des Pois, Portage,
(Herbes Partout!
(Richard's sons' Reach,
(Grand Trunk Funk,
(Blu-ski-bella Babooshkas,
(Ceilidh Centre,
(Baldar's Gimlit,
(Rendezvous Douces,
(Chez nous, on Natives' Land,
(Riel Estate!
(Festivale File Gumbo,
(Fais Dodo, 'vec Zydeco,
(Boif Rhum-ah-Hon-nah!
(Fancy Fiddlin', t'amata Sameday,
(Manga Brocha!
(La-la-lay-la, haya,

(Erin, go Bragh, (less)
(Nipiwinni sipiwa, (perky)
(Pemmican (jerky)
(Skinny (dipzy)
(Hiya haya (allright!)

Naming game, same again,
Gaming names, plainly gains,

Of the Assiniboine?

(viz. Viz-compt Gort,
(Later VC, 'otel, 'ostil-ah-bang'em,
(Oopsy, [comma cheni] pas nariyanl,
('Oz-pitalites, tous-jou's, tra' dang-err-mooses,
(Gran' Pont, maintenant, tant piz.)

Some petty, (paz autres) big Cricks, etc,
En Seine,
Fais dough dough, ble heya,

For some, (of us) beginners,
Was a place of wonder, to start,

Le zew, la zoray, la boush ekwa ta tet.

So the taste, touch+feel, scent,
Sound, look, Ghost(s)+Spirit,
Siren Call, of the River, was with us,
Late+soon, then+now.

Always current, w/ancient reves,
Ever there, doux et bas,
Sous, Sioux, Prairie Airs.

Visions du vente, avec les freres Tomson, +
Las Reines de la Neiges,
Avant, les wayes en haut,
Mo'-betta-can-noodlh ici!

Soon Far-mo-loo-parlays,
Hebert's chansons a la Binks!
"W.O." was us, aussi Gabrielle,
Bon heureusement.

Proximate, (putative) roots?

Two dour, Scots G.P.'s, ex-Edin burrowers,
One, demi-Parisien Leprechan, +
Nana, from upstream,
Metis, Minnedosa (wawatay) way.

For a first gran' kosisan,
Nohkum, sure had Her ways,
Called us birds! Cahcahkayoos!

3rd Grade, Windsor Pub. when,
1st Flood! Wow!

Burlap bales, stronger spoored, than those
Brown (souvenier's of serv-ice/-ival) blankets,

Vet (wet) Dads (still) venerated, in old luggage,
Gunny Sacks, w/ coded, overlapping stencils,

Addressed to many, lively Theatres,
DNT movies, etranger than fiction.

Improbably huge, banks of sand,
In drive-ways, (jeep duks!)

By hand, 'til we dropped exhausted, ate
Napped+ ate, (ne plus ultra) sandywiches,
Gulped, gullets, cropz, Cahcahkayoos!
Nanabush wiininwa, (Nana-mannah )

Do it again, over+over, forever,
Sheltering in StockYards,

'Til, a Neighbour's pump shorted,
Drowned, the dikes broke, +
We, (children+women) left, our homes,
Full of the River's wawatay.

It was some messy, when we came back,
Looked around, under a June Moon '50.
Took ah-lots-ah-work, to fix-up small victorys.

That was quite a Christmas+New Years,
Serious, serial soirees, good cheer,
Some gentle rest, moonlit skating,
Mostly, merry-men, rye-bye-snooz.

The Crescent, alight for The Season,
All along the Row, buses full,
Of amazed delight. We waved back,
Frosty clean, squeaky snow.

This "Winter," if you see Aurora,
Arret eh, ferm ta bec, fais ta zoray,

Kiwitinohk Ice,
Canadling, Tinkling, Trickling!

All the (live-long) day, +some nights!
November, remember,

"Drip, drip, drip.... "

"All Aboard/Ashore, what's goin'" eh?

Mahki-tawa-kew wapush, tananahehta kwayes kici!
(Some rabbits, w/ big (h)ears, 'ear swell,
(Petites choses.)

Tanci keta?
(Eh, Whut'zz-up, Doc?)

Tano-we to-tsimile?

"Sous" beaucoup des ponts en flimsy,
"L'on y dance, l'on y dance..tous en rond."

"Somewhere norda S. Dakota, lived a young'un,
"On roche raccoo-oo-n!"

Aux autres choses, aux sis' rivieres, a bientot.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

"Strike Three, He's out, Game over, Wrong Vector, No Vict-ors, + Beaucoup des Vict-ems."


Whither Iraq?
When's, Iran,
What Condi meant?
Playing catch up?
How, far foul, is
The Latest "News"?
Play Ball!

"Ju's can't lay off the high, hard ones
"Can yuh, Mule?" Dolly to Sis Kit.
(Best BB in any movie, many Star turns)

We are now told, by 'reliable sources'
Albeit, same damn fuck-wits, who deigned to deem
Against "Otherness" there, not here!"
A responsible, sane, serious, oppo.

2003, Everthing's melting, need moor oil.
Potemkin pumpin', pimpin', profit$.

"Yeehaw HooHa"

Rapturous celebatters of "Righteous-Rightness"


Most of 'em, avoiders, many of 'em evaders,
Some of 'em, fraudulent, All of 'em, CHC's,

"No objections, jus' not me, nigg'err."

"Y U jive us, diss way, l'il bro?"

"Yo no' hep, Fo',
"Yo' need dat haitch, whitey?

"It'z aah, like see-gah, shug-gah,
"Yo mom-mah, U digg-ah?"

"I'm on the Indef. D.L." (Dude, Later)
"Arch issues, ass acne.

One of 'em, a beanie-boy, who ju's cain't
Git enoug' a' thut mech-a-nickal bull,
Tx Style, Connecticut connexions.

Jumped the queue, blew mucho,
TaxPayer $$$,
Fuckin' 'round w/ Texas teasers,
Sunrises, "TG, Trainin'"

More like, "Titless Wonders" as
Front Line, "ACK-ACK-SHON" (no videos)
Veterans will swear,
On many a Mother's broken heart.

Fearless, mean-wiles,
Doin' the odd line, sinkin' mucho boats,
Chasin' bass, bookin' courts...

A Yellow Rose, mindful of the "al-lah mode"
"Moolah! Boola, Pascagoula!"

Then, along the trail moseyed,
"One've 'em, ah, 'lection bi-cycles"
"Sweet home, Alabam'!"
Ever since then, well......!

Swell, he became big, first in oil,
(Qaida fucktit up, no worrys Mite)
"Harken, is that bail, fer moi?"
"Disclose? Diss Sucks, later Dude."

Swell, also in Jr. Looping,
"..Been berry, berry good to me, Hain,"
In Texas, "Hosay, can U see?"
As an arranger Ranger, see?

Then Rover, (not Barney) made him read
A picture book, (like Daddy's diary)
"Horton harms a Whitey, Willie!"

Gets a "Re-bapt-a-re-a'gin" vision!
"Hey, Bebop-a-rebop's some Rube, heh Barb?"
At(da)Water, Quel Miracle!

(Graham's l'il cracker Jackie, changes name,
(Joshua, better metrics, mkt. share)

Meets many other's of his ilk, say
They have been promised something,
Like Land, all inscribed,
In circ., many sizes, hot to trot.

Then, yadda, yadda, yadda, chad,
"'Mur'can justice" yadda,
9/11 OOPS!
No more justice, "'Mur'can or enathung,"
Yadda, yadda, yadda etc.

"Come, Mr. Taliban, de-liver us Sin Laydin,
"Daylight come, so we gotta Iraq."

"Saddam (Shame) Stocks NUKES!!"
"Merry New Year!
"Shop, ya bastards!"

Who's, on the mound, (not first)
A'pitchin' to Fearless, fer the I-NUKES!
That foin day in Muddville, Chilluns?

+Who's (born again)..a'huggin' Turd?
"I don't know," Bub, bud it'll cost us,
"I'll tell ya, Lou."

"Al-Seams" the artful twirler, a late cut
From the Damascus Diasporas,
Comes to the Beacon, with serious stuff.

An "Aye-rabi" street hustler,


Cunningly encoded as "CurveBall"

Da alligators are alledgy, evidently he
Showed Georgie Porgie,
The ol' Changeroo,
As Satch usta say.

"There it is then, clearly, surging otta..?
"Well then, lets do Iran, anybody,
"Got a map? "

What's sinister aboot overtaking
Nederlanders, enaways?

Friday, November 16, 2007

"Steele Yr.self Sam, not all rumours are Un-grounded"

In the wake of of of ouf, yet another,
By the neo-borderless D'Iddylls,

Usta be, "Mounties" now neither
Regal, nor (much) Canadian,
Major directions, coming from Yanks,
Via Harpoon's Alliances,

Steverino didn't start this Shite,
He just rolls us, with/in it.

23 June 1985.

Air India 182,
329 blown up! 280 Canadians!
By terrorists, using planes!
(Hong Kong+Ireland) via VCR>YYZ>!

28! $$#!%^&*$$$ Years Ago! + Nada!

The RCMP knew ALL about it,
Having fought so valiantly, so long,
Protecting their (phat) ass-ettes,
From Sikhishness.

"Sikh? Hindu? Asian? Injun?
"All the same, 'Others.'
"See Sis, not really our kind of Folks,
"So, no biggy."

(All CanAbNat readers are now excused,
(Nothing here, is news to you.)

Our erst, Fabled Force, now mountabanks,
Just-ass, a lawless gaggle, hangin' inside,
At airports, shuckin', jivin'
ZZZap, Yr. ded.

Fussy aboot dressage, breekin' freaky,
Scarlet, over secret codes, covert readers,
Under covers, (always non-text) Y'all.
Racepy, pro-filers,

Expediantly, assigning rookie pawns,
North, beyond their ken,

Lying, Theiving, Murdering, (+ routine)
Dissonantly, un-musical LawLessness.

(HRH Q11, un-amused,
(Parmi plusiers des autres)

Our, "OK, nein?" (p)Leader?
GRRRuff+Ready toujours.

Our, "Ace-in-Hole?"
Rt.-on, Maxi-mummy Ministre,
Manifuquo, a la droit, (comme l'habitude)
"Pubic protection, Jocko!"

"I'm on (it) 'er, Harp,
"Ah, whut's next?"

Duh Wet_Jet, wHoly-owned stubby,
(CanCo, of BushCo) w/ mucho, pats pending,
Weighed in (all wet) suitably, again Today.

"...Ah, hit's all, 'pat. pending'..we've asked.."

(Arar, Khadr, Khandahar, Khan-nabis,
(Kontrol, our soft woodys, e.g.)

"..Certainly musta... shocked(sic)!!.. his Mom.."?

(Heh, heh, heh...whut? don'tcha getit?
(Zingers, fo'-to-da punk!)

Standard Stock, "Torque, Yo Mada!"
Greatest Snits, Stocking Stuffers,
"Keep Yr. visa handy."

"We, ah, er, um, sure, soon, Safteyness?
"Absolutely! R US!"

Not quite the dreamy, 'sugar-plumbing*'
Nous Canucks gais/jolis, invisioned
Pour les babes, soon festive, season-wize.

"See, Ah'm agin a' bhads,
"Sum'at, pesky mav'ricks need, ah
"Brandin' proddin' ropin',... "
"Here, da noose, Sunshine!
"S'Hits Saddam, shame!"

Yr.> Ass, podner.

Expect moore, in-clementcy, weather-wize.

Wiki Sam Steele, neo-nits,
Connect what dots Ye may.

We double-dog dare Ya!

In Sam's way/day, stockings+stalkings
Were placed properly, probatively useful,
Patterned, routinely, on the laws,
Canadien, Eh?

"Maintiens le Droit,"
Makes a body, apprehensive.

"On King, on you Huskies!"

*Goldberry sez, "Ems, not Bees, Hon."
Licks thumb, lubriciously,
Cracks wize, mood indigo,
"Let's Wendigo."

Skeins of geese, arrow under the Moon.

UPDATE: 18 Nov 07
Today's Tor Star queries, on-line, whether,
Or not, a (Muslim) airport employee,
Can be forced to shorten her skirts!

54% say absolutely?

Perhaps, 200 lashes might,
"Gitt'er, Boyz!"
To, "Re-Thunk," our cherished values,

Will these fashion fascistas, be as sanguine,
When, ipso facto, comes their
Turn in the barrel? On voirent.

Not much, Canada, anymore, Eh?
Second place, in the Bush Leagues.
Qui moi? Profondement honteux, et toi?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Tigers Gone. Loons Ponder "Yonder."

Not that we loved him less but,
Alf, Lord more, Blake sure got
Our undivided, long ago, with,

"Tiger, tiger, burning bright,
"In the forests of the night,
"What immortal hand or eye
"Could frame thy fearful symmetry?"

Having considered gist, grist,
+Pyth of this indelible image,

"4 half, ooh (fiddy)
"Ah, Cent. U see,
"Don'tcha flash, inna hood,
"Else Yr. duh-ded-T."

"Let's (sure) render,
"De Las' Tiger, an'
"Beijing Bling Bling,
"Da Panda 2."

"Lamb-baste da Leaders,
"Wit' da extr'acte,
"In a lifeboat,
"Easy as Pi."

A balm, in Olympiad.

"Tiger Bomb+!" Tm.

Can. Beijingo, be poplar, buy gum,
Heal the afflicted,
Like a Tianamin boot?

"See Alice," sez, Great Grey Elder,
"Many a pretentious prick,
"Pouts pendulously."


Jus' WTF, "The World, needs..?"
Eh, Byes?

Flaccid, phoney, fantastic,
Phallusys, for Fraidy cats.

Nouvelles chez nous?

This warmish Autumn,
All open water,
Loons late leaving,

Eldest campers,
On Lake Totem, 'Em,
Before Henry got lost w/James,

Before yore mammals,
Ur Loons.

The Ambient, sina qua non,
Reflective voice
Of the Boreal, Taiga, Arctic

Why, those, 'Injuns? Chippewas? Ojibwas?'
Anishnabi say a Loon started, everything?
Whatta they.....(k)No? Sure, maybe a bit of
Locale knowledge? As if!

Weary of wet-jets,
Flocking off, up North,
Limnber sticklers, Loons.
Close attenders of habitat.

Mid November, No ice, whatsoever,
Pelee Island>Boothia.

Some nonsense, about Peace+Quiet,
For the wee loonlets,
Where water's less greasy +
Sky's not smoggy, all day.

Oh Well, only hung around,
For what, ah... (circa 45 million)
Whadda they, No!
As if?

Still, some (enchanted) evenings,
Won't be, quite, the same.

What most still don't grasp, about
This warming, shrinking habitat,
Is quite a lot.

Most are un-wittingly, Un-persuaded,
Buy/Bought/Bot, pseudo-cat rats.

Who are, (un) just (ly) ass-id-u-ously
Up-grading, their Duh-Luxxx
"Pleasure-Crafts" (viz. life-boats)
With clever-fictitious con-flations, +
Yr. dough, John/Jane.

Sadly blinded, by the smog
Which obscures distant signs,
Smoke signals, from brightly,
Burning Tigers.

Buy, buy, fur now, Folks.

Monday, November 12, 2007

"Tush, Kiddie Diddler."

In Honour of Veteran's Day,
Tush, the Scary Pimp-a-null,
Star of the Egregiously Ignorant Bigots,
Tipped by a ditto re: a Gr.4 teacher's,
Pre 11/11/11,
In-class discussion of All Vets,
Including those Vets who 'object' to War,
Rushed in, to diddle the kiddies, again.

Again, Lying, again, about every aspect,
Of (again) a non "Story," again, this AM,
Lush's crowing, again, about his success,
Fucking the children,

What gushes, from da Tush,
Is just desserts, for dittos.

Butt, haven't we a general concensus, +
Much settled LAW, in re:
Repetitive, Vicarious, Viscious,
Fucking, of Children, (for profit)?

Come North for the fishing, Mush,
Bring pesty Tom, don't delay,
Bring Dead-eye Dick, bring Shrub,
Rub-a-dub, eh!

Re-apportioning, v. big in this district.
We have some rusty cans, +
Foxes, aplenty.

Many interesting off-sites, dark trails,
Cubanos, Yanqui script, at par.
American plans, nice rooms,
Great boarding,
Delighted to show you the ropes.

"Flag Protocols, 11/11/11, 2007."

The "McDonald/Cartier Highway," between Windsor,
+La Chateau, P.Q., long knicked, to da (G.D.) 401,
According to some, needs further "Re-Branding" as
"The Freedom Highway of Honour."

This, they say, is the
"Least, that we can do, to
"Support our brave, (dead) Troops."

To advance this notion, they bring children,
On overpasses, to learn to wave flags,
At cortages, bearing coffins,
En passant, au-dessous d'eux.

Hearse parties. Hoohuh?

Although flags may be dipped,draped,
Saluted and honoured,
In Remembrance.

Casual, personal, ceremonial,
Waving them AT coffins is
NO (repeat) NOT:
Part of the Canadian Canon,
Ever, never, Folks.

Poppies, not slogans, ribbons or flags,
Weeping+Thinking, are the Dress-of-the-Day.

Flags are sometimes waved, in celebration,

At the Enemy.

So, Jingobells, Jingobell, jingo, all the way.

Spontaneous? You betcha?
"Jus' wing-it, Right?"

"Our way, or/and/on, the highway!"

Stand fasct, in the ranks.

The World's Smartest, Senior, Successful, Politico,
QE11, Having dealt w/ many a moron, in her time,
Seems singularily un-amused by the bumbling antics
Of both, Fearless + Harpoon.
Top Gal! Long may She Regina.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

"Appallogetica" Sunrise Observances.

Offering, 1000:1 Odds, on any amount,
You care to wager.

Today, 11/11/11, truly a Day of Remembrance,
Between bike rides and fund raisers, Himself,
Will hector+harken to the Flock,
9/11, ad nauseum.

There will be much ado, about what was,
In the Great Scheme of Things,

Evidently, a small, "Surgical Strike" using
"SoA" homemade, "IEDs" as flying, "Smart Bombs"
A "Precisely Targetted Opportunity,"
"From Saudi Arabia, you say?
"Well, Of all the places? Whoda thunk?"

That killed, astonishingly, few people,
(about 3000, some 3/4 of whom were Americans)
Considering the massive,

Mucho! Macho! "Property Damage" in the here-to-for,
"Center of 'American' (viz. World) Capitalism."

But NOT PrimeTime? Hey, whaddaya,

"Gotta go with the flights, light on passengers,
"Full on fuel."

That's the heart of the M.Atta, w/partying,
In Prague, w/Saddam, right Dick?
You+Rummy otta know, having sold him,
The Program+perquisites.

Briefly, those are, "Just the facts, Ma'am."
Right? RSVP any considered correction(s).

There are two (2) kinds of World Trade, Byes,

Milo Minderbinder, Eco. 101
US Corps + Agribi$$ w/ huge tax subsidies,
To grow/not grow stuff, in the wrong places.
Fucking w/Currentcy, Fraudulent accounting, +

"Yes, you betta not have no bananas, Chiquita,"

MADE + ENFORCED, by the U.S.A.
Creating desparate, desperation for
Everyone, "Other," or Else.

Of which, Himself, the Yellow Rose,
Knows, nor cares, nary a whit.

(0), nought, naught, nada, rien, none,
Save the pseudo-judocious,
Ex parte, use of knoughts etc.

B.Ah, Yale, (magna, cum bullshit, null+groans)
M.B.A. Haavaard! (yeah eh, well they're aplenty)

Today, when some still recall,
Sacrifice, sometimes Supreme,
For those, "Others"
Of whom, cowards now counsel us,
"Be afeared, tres afeared, U Flockers."

"Howevernotwithstanding+withoutpredjudice" Tm. RNC.

"We neither need, nor want Yr. input,
"Butt, ya never, (ah, no) so keep,
"Ah, Yr. duct-tape, ah, handy."

Incessant, Damn Lies,
By a real, live deserters,
In, soi-disant, "War Time"?
Fraudulent, preening, dress-up,
Treasonous, AWOL cowards, Motto?

"We can make this work for US, so fuck 'em?
"Right Dick? KKKarl?, Condi? Alberto? Rummy? Tush?
(Katherine, Karen, Harriet, Dana, et al. handmaidens)

"Yo, Ant'inny, let's re-abolster da bench?
"Heh, heh, heh."

The Gassy, Gilded Gelding,
Lip-synching Stallion Songs,
Makes a body, twitchy, yeah?

Sic transit Americana.

As the last of the WW11 Veterans dwindle,
So too does our collective
"Wisdom," of the nature, of War.

Today, on all fronts, War is "framed" as a small
Escalation of someone's 'Righteous' Rebukes,
By profiteering pissants.
Routine Bizz, w/lot$ of "Co$t Plu$e$!"

Factual, Actual Veterans, who dissent,
Called Craven? By kiddie-diddlers.

So as fascism, always stylish, to some,
Becomes the new apple-pie order, in America,

Wholly supported by a Canadian Prime Minister,
Bereft of any, save the meanest motives,

Our cares, sighs, toasts and tears:

To Dad, CALGARY TANKS, Africa, Sicily, Italy, ETO,

His elder brother Vic, RCE, KIA, Nijmegen,

Younger brother Jay, RCN, Atlantic+Pacific,

Uncle Hughie, WPG. GRENADIERS, Hong Kong,
POW 4 years, Changi,

Uncle Ed, RCR, D-Day Landings, Scheldt,

Aunt Bet+Uncle Jack RCNR,

Waiting Mothers, who kept the homefires,
Fearing telegrams, above all things,

Those Million+ Canadians, who have always served,
With Valour and Honour, overseas,

Tommy Prince, among our many, truly Braves,

ALL the Children, who are, merely, 'collateral'
To the Gunners and Bombers,

Our deepest apologies.

It seems, the only passed Torches, these days,
Kindle Crosses, Oil wells.

Plenty of poppies, blowin' Afghanistan.

Je me souviens.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

"Leapin' Loonies' are calling to, 'Yoooo boohoo who, oo oo oooh,' Nancy!"

Regarding the Lawless Shrub rampant,
"There ain't nothin' we can't F.Up, Yehaw!" +

Ol' 9% approval, (Hummers all of 'em)
WyoDick, (Jus' for the hallibutt)
"None of Yr. G.D. bidne$$, F.U.!"

We have Wars, foreign+domestic,
Coming, going, gone,
"For Peace+Stability, + "Tuh 'Mur'can Way,"

More coming soon,
Chez vous, mes petits chouchous.

Economy, the imminent collapse of,
"Consumer Confidance," in anything, everywhere.

"Time to SHOP! Folks,
"Fer the Hols, fer Jasus!
"Get the lead out, eh.
"Bring a visa.

"We'll look after currentcy conversion,
"In accounting, (in Bangaladesh)
"Fer Ya, (N/C, except some handling)
"How 'bout them Air Miles!"

If Nancy's stumble-bums don't suspend,
ANY further "Credit Plans" to YK Who,
Many a rice-bowl will be soon broken,

"Mo' bettah, it be the Round Eyes'."
Sez Warner Oland, to #1 Son.

Friday, November 9, 2007

"Football, Eh?"

During yet another War, 1812, some soldiers,
From Rugby, in the Canadian Colonies,
Brought with them, the Game.
As usual, McGill had to teach Haarvaard.

From circa mid 1800s 'til around 1970,
It was terrific.

Only surviving iteration, CIAU!

No Imports! Only Canucks in CFL.
Like Bombers, in trust to the Community,
Not some bozo's bottom line.

+The Maritime Schooners, home games in
Newfy John, Slackers, Pettimuddiac,
+SummerSide, during lobster-fest.

Real Football, Canadian Football:

Big Pitch, akin to Soccer, wide, long.
3 for 10.
If we put it in Yr. end-zone,
You get it out or Yr. rouged!

Take a knee, is a Yankee thang.
None of this "Fairy Catching" shite.
Recievers get room to catch.
We prefer Yr. undivided, when we hit Ya.
Saves time, for the Game.

Then, we all played both ways,
Before it became passe, then,
Strangely popular again:)

Jus' kiddin' Folks,
Remember when a pat on Yr. ass,
Was encouraging?

When November was Winter, we walked
Up Osborne delighted to see
Jack Jacobs>Tom Casey! TD=5 points.

The Cheerleaders, weren't at all like,

"Be a Yalie, Where's my Beanie, Bar'ma?"

Our's had, tres intriguing, sustantive issues,
Above the waist.

So what's the Vegas Line, for this Sunday,
On the See Alice Seahawks vs the Head-On Hooters,
At the Trojan Con Dome, expect drizzle?

"Keep Yr. shirts on Gurlz!"

Watch+Wait for:
The fog of remembrance on Veteran's Day U.S.A,
"We always honor+support our Troops!"
At the Next NFL Tillman Tribute, Hooha.

Why would anyone, except Sore Cozy,
Pick up Bush, long since on waivers?

Well, he does have that expansive, expensive,
Ex-Connecti-Con, ipso facto,
Presto chango, Cowboy stance.
Down, Set, Yup!

Go Gryphons! Munch 'Stangs.

Stangs full value in great comeback over
Game Gryph's get chilled in Churchill.

Rouge et Or prances in to Slackers,
Huskies block, tackle, pass, run away.

The Championship of Canadian University
Football. The Vanier Cup, disappears into
Hogtown Media, enthralled with the spread
On the Clemson Cock-a-toos! Bills+Coos, ooH!

Wiki Canadian Governers' General,
Neither Vanier, nor Stanley, nor Clarkson,
Cups deserve this fetish w/Yanqui Crap,
"Fer da Boyz, Bubba!"

So Bisons win and now the Story is that
They're all late cuts from the East Tennessee,
Out-Door Arena league who, late in years,
Took up studying Merton+Loyola at
St. John's by the Roozh River?

Please advise?

"Hockey, Eh?"

In our time, there was a time before
Canadian Ice Hockey,
Became just money+violence.

It was our excellent, outside, Winter adventure.

There was joie, dans nos vivres,
No one mentioned the weather,
Except to comment on the "State of the Ice," +
Whether some, (laterly, 'power-skating-drills?')
Shovel work! would enhance our dekes.

ChillBlanes, that would cripple a Polar Bear, were gritted out, tears streaming, just part of our game.

Our Heros, via crystal sets,in Arctic attics,
Were swift, scoring, phenoms,
"Mosienko pots, 3 in 21 secs! Chihawks!"

We knew the 3 secret things, via Rene and Foster,

"La patinage, la patinage et la patinage!"

Sure there were dustups, just as in the world around us,
But tusslers, on the rinks behind,
Laura Secord PUBLIC School, ('Peg, circa '48)
Were summarily, dumped, off the ice,
Over the banks, on puck search.

Snowsuits, ending in bob-skates,
Tended to muffle gender issues.
Marilyn,(not a manson) was the star of Sr.K.

Tussels, slowed down our game, us.
Useful, successful adjudication. The Game.

Now, parsing any, "Hockey News" any media,
Is akin, +equally enjoyable, to following Bloomberg,
Or WWF, or "Celebrity" Poker?

100:1, Money:Skills,
(talent, enchantment, teamwork)

About The Game, nada.

This commercial blather is a long piece, from,
Wes, Baldy, Jack, Bobby and da boyz,
'Round the old Hot-Stove.

They convinced us to read a book by L. Percival,
Who had a "Sports College! On the Air!"

So too! (read the book) did Anotoli Tarasov,
Which is how we came to loose heart,
And the Series, in '72.

Some Canucks, who were live, in Luzhniki, still hear,
The crunch of Bobby's stick,
Breaking Valerie's ankle.
Still spit, a the mention of Joe Kompala.
Means, ends, perhaps, but not our Game.

Coincidently, for quick energy, we consumed vats of
BeeHive Golden Corn Syrup!
Many became DDS's.
"Come onnnnn, Teeder!"

Ante-Zamboni, twelve yr. old, PeeWee playin'
Watchers at The Gardens, or Forum, loved to
See the smiling old Vets, brooms, brushes, shovels,
Then the steamy barrels, walked briskly,
By a two-man trace, pusser shines, in toe-rubbers.

Layin' down the glass. No lumpy baseboards. No slush.
No wet spots when puck drops.

No Ads. No G.D. Base-ball! Caps?
Fancy Fedoras, sometimes sacrificed in elation.

Thru the Tunnel, "Inside" was for The Game.

Good Ice, was an elegant art, in or out.
(Barely surviving now, mostly at Bonspiels)

But there's plenty more, Up North, right?

If The Cup could talk, what would it say?
Howie Morenz? Thistles? Afghanistan?

Eric certainly had talent.

Why are all these Kids, so fat?

One night, Cotton told Mcknight that,
The Leaf defence looked like fire-plugs
To onrushing Oppo. forwards,
Plus ca change, eh?

There's much, again, to remember in November.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

"Table Talk + Retrodacto"

Once upon a time, at a round (native) table, the news of a President's 'passing' was announced.

One of 'those' who are (still!) phillaryed+adjured to
"BE SEEN + Not heard," wondered,
"how Could THEY, TELL?"

Stuff, like this, drover to drink.

So we wikied Cool Cal, jus' to brush up, a bit.

Suddenly, in rhythm w/ John Lee+Van,
Zoom, the fonts, texts, were up+dancing.

Retro Erato, one of the Nymphs, like T.Belle 'cept,
(SoA, bitchin' SoftWare)
Needs shoulders, nuzzles nape,
"Come back to bed, you Fool!"

But the byte's in my teeth, +they're in the
"Over-night Solution?"
(Jar o' Malt, more's handy:)

"So whaddaya, sorry Uncle Albert?"

Licking clean, our resinous specs, Re-focus.

Everything on Wiki, that was cool,
Became vaguely blurred, almost bushy.

"But lot's has changed, since then, right?"

Well, before Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, NK+
"Other" axials of "Evil Doers" like,

Haiti, Liberia! Honduras, Niceragua, Panama, Bolivia,
Grenada! Columbia, Cuba, Grassy Narrows,

(Et al+al, ever+ever, Ah, men.)

Always Smaller Countries, un-convinced that,
"'Mur'can Interests" are ALL-WAYS, Trumps.

Same shit. Since a Ponce began to profess,
Da Fe(th), here-a-boots.


Towards the pre-detente denoument of
Ye G. Ol' U.S.A,'s last, rilly/way, Long "In-Country"

(Didn't dittos usta LOVE [Al] Nobel? Dyn-o-mite?)

When, The Hammerin' Hanky, Kiss-o'-dearth,
(All Risk, no Clue, in Office, on knees, w/Dick.)
Sanctions + surges w/ mucho bombos,
Billets douces for his Eastern pal, Yu Duc Thieu,
Needed most of a YEAR,

To reckon the exact, design, shape, size, colour,
Height, breadth, width,

(Whose points, are to be distributed where,
En Suisse? In the no-bids + residuals?)

Of a table, in France, dien bien tru, fou,

"'Afore time, came to chit-chat, about Peace."

"It ain't da Meet, it's Low-cution.
"That makes Yo' Daddy wanna shout." Galz.

Where, When, What shall we begin to gather 'round?

W'hut's... that Nancy, Tabled?"


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

"Yanka-nucks" lay the marks, abreast (b) lubbers, "Thar she blows, Byes!"

Any cursory survey of the 'might be right' websites,
Reveals a curious pattern, fear+loathing of debate.

Any comment on their incessant, easily checked,
(google, wiki) blatant, factual errors,
Soon meets grape-shot.

Yr. "A raving, anti-Christ Moonbat." +(Laff Trac)

That's it. The rebuttal. Full Stop.

When the perps are just prancing, post-pubescents,
(Under 50:)
This adolescent idolitry, of self abuse,
Is sometimes just jejeune.

When Bigotted, Old Bozos invoke
Grand Parental 'privy-all-edge'
Calling it macaroni,
That's egregious.

Canuck con-blogs are routinely, mini-
Rush/Michelle manques, oneway way wingnuttia,
"Pissed Off Texans With Guns" always a fav.
Mimico-graphed, en direct,

From, "Head.. Q-war-ters" as Jocko T. usta say.

Canuck prog-blogs are routinely whiny, pathetique.
With news of cats, colostomys, silly semi-
Similes, "If the Venitians hadn't gone blinds,
It would be curtains, for everyone!"

Whence debate if there is no Commons?

What a loss to social intercourse that,
Akin to their spanky wanky yankee heros,
Our raff can't riff, either,
Except, auto-erraticaly.

So here's Yr. query o'day, Dear Dittos:

If Gandi could end the Brit Raj, emancipating
Hundreds of millions,
With a handful of salt,
Would a Moose lick Lot's Wife?

Best blowback from the gangsta blogga,
Tory gunslingers so far?

Wee Jay Currie, Dodo Frump wannabe.

"boreal? = some kinda bear, on peyote?"

Ah..."Yeah, that's the ticket!"

"You wish," sez Goldberry.

"Let go, Starboard."

"Bush ads hoc, Phtttooey!"

20 Jan. '09, if we survive 'til then,
Should demand sober reflection, not Party Time.

We have all sadly frittered away, eight long years,
Celebrating the same old routine, greed and slaughter,
Directed by dim, damn dilletanttos, with freaky fetishes.

Setting Sex aside, for the moment,
Let's pay some attention to the
Weather 'cause only

When/If we can 'stablize'
GHGW emissions = P.T.
Real Reductions = Fiesta!
If not, it'll happen over time, anyway.

The durational interval may involve much,
Weeping+Gnashing, but "Hey?
"Lock,I'm!" Right, Uzi Likudzi.

Bushtime has all been recess, standard Jr.
Sand-box Fables+Folly?
Hope that bell tolls soon, getting blustery.
Be nice, to be back, within any small structure?

"Ad hoc?" = NO Trials for us, secret trials, For YOU!

All, the wayalong, this tiresome, jizzum trail,
Driven by the Turd Bloss's Bosses,
Long, "Amour propre" gone berserko, Bobalooey.

Breath-takingly, careless, incompetent ignoramuses,
Lusting towards some phallacious Providence,
With all the cowardice they can bluster.

"None of 'em can run a beer sale, on a troop ship."

"Still, quite a ways from Abiline, eh Tex?
"Some of the boys were jus' askin'..?

(Some Gals there, don't treat you so mean)

Fearless? He jus' makes it up,
"Whatever!" Comes a'moseyin' along, l'il Doggies.

Kinda leaves a strange taste, yeah?

Sunday, November 4, 2007

"Shining, Sweetwater Rivers, Moonlight Skating!"

Some of us were Prairie born,
To Fathers fighting far away,
To stop a 'madman' who said,

"Dissenters? sehen Sie,
"We'll get ya, persuade ya,
"One way, oder andere."

"Gotterdamerung!" without even the oft cit.
By neo-morons, reassuring comfort of
Supply-side, free market, "Timely Trains?"

Winter Rivers, were our Heart's Delight.

1939, Autumn 'til 1942, Spring,

Desperate North Atlantic Battles,
Life-lines to Britain, overseas, under seige.
The Hope for a Ghost of a Chance.

That "Coalition....?"
England, Canada, Commonwealth + Refugees.

Wehrmacht: Luftwaffe, Blitzkreig, WolfPacks,
Bismarck, Tirpitz, Fockkers, Waffen SS,
Later, Rommel's Desert Panzers+88s.

Front Line Ops. Groups?
Merchant Mariners, many Nations,
5-10 knots, through torpedo alley,
"The Gap" for an Old Navy.

SOME, Dunkirk Dingys, Sailboats, Fairmiles,
Coasters, MTBs, Sweepers, Corvettes,
ALL, RN+(R), RCN+(R), RAF+(R), RCAF+(R).

"Sina qua non." WSC.

(H. still pals w/S., later Murmansk Supply,
Another Story, Frozen ships sink.)

EVERYTHING: rationed, reused, recycled,

U.S. Depression lessens, $$$ to be made,
Earned, stolen, profiteered.
Prescott Bush, Joe Kennedy Sr. et al.
Raised on Robbery.

"In pursuit of Happiness"
Brilliant, coastal neon backlights
Convoys, for Untersee-Boots.

Aloha, Frangipani, Bouganvilla,
Pearl Cocktails! Mahalo, TGIS.

Two+ Hard, Long Years, into World War Too,
Yanks notice Tojo's OIL PLAY!
"Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere!"
"W'hell, Ah'll be a Tokyo Rose, BUB."
Local Similes, rapidly rendered.

442nd will be the most decorated U.S. Batt.
Powdered clouds, in everyone's coffee.

"Reefer Madness" displaces "Demon Rum" on
Urgent, U.S.A. to do list.
Paving paradise continues apace.

River skating "High Season" often began,
Before All Hallow's Eve, lasting Past Easter.
Now, "Thin ice, stay off" year 'round.

"Clearly, Un-related to GHGW?" Data Redacto,
W.H Bimbetta Vacante, OIC Blithering+Dithering.

Joni always takes us on passionate,
Thoughtful Journeys, rhythmic, melodic, lyrical.
"Shine" is a memory, somewhere down a
Moonlit River, Old Dreams, on which,
We may all, still skate away.

Hibbing Mn. in the Mesabi Range,
Makes a poetry man, "Blue" in changin' times,
But "'Taint February in Saskabush" Byes.

"Don't it always, seem to go..?"

What? More War(s)?

UPDATE: Weekend News,
Remember when "Sunday Talk"
Was of Any Consequence?

Meme: "Pillory Billary Doc" say pissants run amok.
MSM: "More, after these messages."

Tennessee Stud(ge) zzzzzz, on Tool Time w/Tim.

Zoot Suit Blankley, he sure is.
Waxing gibberous. Moony.

Kristol Natch! on "Courage/Honour" hizz,
"Support the Troops! Over there, not Here!"
"Rt. on LillaPutz, how goes the Putsch?"
He's a way, fey, butchy chaton, D'accor'?


("Naming Rights!" Call "IT" whatever you want!
Steaming, streaming rivers of revenue,
Scent marking, da Brand.)




Ex Ranger Tillman,P. ??? Not so much as his
Grieving Family, joins the uncounted others
In wondering, "Why would anyone do that to us?"
"What possible, plausible 'Good' is being served?

Pretend Yr. being held, under water,
Holding Yr. breath? Good. Right?

So, how'er we doin' building bridges,
Over troubled Rivers? Karen?
"Don't LTSD Hit Yr. AOTW OUT.

"Madness?" said Major Tipton, "Madness!"

"Well," you may ask, "Why?"

"Yowser Massa."
"How much for a quick lube, rube?"

UPDATE: 08 Nov. 07
Sask always great at parties, Go Green!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

"Good" Noose, from Wet Jet!

Among the many irregularities, plaguing the great "American" body politic, these days,

Nooses, knee-slap "Reminders" of the good ol'
Plantation Days,+ Administration "InfoDumps."

It's their M.O. their I.D.

A newtech version of the ancient needle
In the haystack challenge, with
Just a faint whiff, of the whip.

Where some small prize say, TRUTH is
By riffraff, in a huge pile, of chuff, chaff and bullshit.

A Zillion, triaged, edited, redacted, photo-shopped,
Inadvertantly missplaced,(bad puppy) e-mails,
Do Not, comme l'evidence germane,
Leviatrate to any Level of Sworn Testimony.(TT,TWT+NBTT)

"Dana! Once more! For us slowpokes: SVP,
"Who's Not getting, How MANY Pages, of What? When?" Oh,
"Well, it's clearly obvious, ya gotta, 9/11, Right?"

Dana makes, Scottie "Jr. Mac+Frys, W/Toy"
Seem a trenchant, suave repartisto.

As Dan admonished Jane, on ancient SNL,
Back when it was mildly amusing,
"Dana! U ig........ut!"

Yet another ancient, proven, settled/ stari decisis,
Since 1215! The bedrock of the "Common Law,"

Joining the other "Quaint"!
Pillars of Due Process,
Habeas + Ex post facto, nil illegitimus,

Discarded/ignored! By Bushy Solons,(Hon)LLDs,
Summa Ignoramus, Reagent Res Collages at
Bah Ram U. (Go Flockkers!)

Same braintrust, now weighing Nuclear Options,
Vis-a-mort, Iranis, Et tous des nous!

12 long months of 'survival' shuck+jive, comin' down.

THEIRS'... NOT (Y)OURS, Gntl Rdrs.

Our Patience, is no virtue here.

Today, Wet-Jet, 'Rt-On' Mini. of Protecting
Canadians from Charm, Islamo-Fascism, etc
Had some 'good' noose for us mooks,
From Joey, (who's from Leaside!)

"Hey Whatever? Seems fair to Dublya?
(Sotto voce)
"We're jus' as 'PissyPants' as he is, Yup,
(Allegro con brio)
"But TOUGH, on crime, don'tcha.."

NO! As the Bears in the Woods often say,
"A whole Day? Without our Charmin'!..."

BlackBears use Blueberrys,
To communicate.
"Yeah you too, Sandra."

Better news:

According to many 'troubled' sources, accidents, injurys,
Deaths, via jet-skis, recreational snowmobiles,
ATV's + handguns in homes, all up sharply.

Life in the pool slowly evolves.

Omar Khadr, sadder budweiser, for the assidious attention,
To the "Letter of the Law," in re Canucks Abroad,
"We'll tell ya, who's errant."
By Harpoon+crew, shall surely be cheered by this,

Timely, Co-mingling of Canuck+Yankee,
Dungeon, Torture + Kill fetishists',


U go, Wet Jet Coi!
(Avril's anthem to coarse, bottom feeders)

Somebody dropped their pint!
Maritimes to batten'er down Byes.

La Vente Mechant, Pas Keewadin ou Mariah,
C'est Noel.

A la prochaine, mes Amis.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

"Bush Throws Down! On Tubesters!"

A Brief Synopsis: Today:
Run-aroun'-Sooey, again gave us,

"The 'Spee'acha" (#2873+counting) regurgitated
Grimly, sans brio, ad sominum, to some
Hemi-demi-semi quavers, nary a Hooha,

At the "F.U. Farley,
Con Club, Social Luncheon," IO/RSVP.

("Premium" washroom passes, dance lessons,
lemony moist, hot towels, O/S at coat-check,
No cheques or plastic, SVP)

"Let's put 'em together for some Hocus Pocus
"Diddlyocus, from Yr. very own SCOTUS POTUS!"

Buckeroos yahoo, prelim swaggers+smirks,
Pursing, squinting, "Ah, Howdy Folks,

"Ah'm h'ar tuh tol' Ya, agin'" moue,

"9/11, here, not there, 9/11,
"Blue Meanies! 9/11
"War there, not here, 9/11,
"War costs, gimme! 9/11,
"Hey, be us? You betcha, 9/11
"Advise+Consent? fuggit'er,
"9/11, Me Decider, 9/11,
"U STFU!" 9/11.

"Ya don' like it, U Flockkers?
"Condi's pal Gitmo's sum ol' be'atch!
"We gots, ah, broads, boards, sumthin'
"Not jus' fer surfin' See!
"Volley ball nets, an' everthang,
"Heh, heh, heh, Huh? Who? ME?"

Jesus, wearying of the stretch drive,
Usually batting clean-up for the Lone Ranger,
Was a late scratch so, the game changed.(QED)

"Ummmmmm, that right, Kemosabe."
"U hold the bag, Pronto."

Just a long fairway wood, awful lie!
Wet rough, katabatic gale coming from
"Amen Corner,"
You can SEE the artificial flowers,
Hear the painted creek, RaeJay!
SMELL the $$$!

"Goin' fer'er! Ma!" comme l'habitude,

Our own Doofus, Dizzy(The Don)Dublya,
(or nuttin' fer all 'yas)
Crooks+squints, wiggles his (g)assets,
Purses+puckers, preens+.. When,

Red Alert: New Targets on the Range,
Cheney on trap. Pull!

Dub's flying flail, a slap-shot style,
Swinggg-gana... boomerang slice at: "Three!"

Well natch, everybody knows, now.
For Oh'Rileee tol'em so.[yeh'ass Jay'sus]

2/Code Pink!=Lenin Sisters? As if!
Some L.Welk fans took this as a diss,
To their gruntles, a bubble breaker.

Some standard boiler-plate, 'Quisling Dems,'

Nothing on DixChix, or the "Funny" little knots,
Laying around, lying lately, locally.

"Looting=Democracy" right Rummy?
"Comment ca va, vous vacances,
"Dans La Belle, Vieille France?

"See Simon, we only lash, to a degree.
"Gotta stress 'at position."

(We all, da nigras, on dis' planetation, Folks)

3/All us plumbers, in those "Tubes"
Augering in the steamy stables of
Lies+Disasters, over and over, still! yet!

A Two-Bit, Urban, Texan Dope,
Back Cursading, Children.

Speaking of a nice fables,
There's a Gorey Story
About many, happy, little bugs,
Some blue, some red, some yellow beset,
So one day, out on their constitutional,
They say, "Let's Roll" for

"Life, Liberty, Truth, Justice and
"The 'American Way' to go Boyz."

Mohandas, ended the British Imperial Raj,
For hundreds of millions,
With a handful of salt.

Let the Pubics wonder+fret,
"Would a Moose Lick Lot's Wife." Yeah?

"First, they ignore U, Then they laugh at U,
"Then they fight U
"+Then, U Win."

Mahatma coat! (goldie quip, author?) Gandi-ji.

Aweigh, Me Hearties! We'll 'ave yon sillycons!

"'Taint enow't, to breast the Cape,
"She's still a far, fair piece,
"From Table Bay, to hot Hormuz!
"Ready'er, to 'Slip+Proceed'"

(Note to Trekkies: 'S+P' Way mo'betta, "Engage?")

"Chicken-Hearted Hawkish Cowards Don't do Debate."

Do they Dubya! Butt,
Thar's many a "Wormtongue," grimma than U think,
Delighted to dissemble,
For an "Un-Reasonable" fee.

They ALL preach the SAME SERMON.

The absolute essence of wistful, wing-nuttery is,

"Iffen Y'all cain't unnerstan' it,
"Kill'er, 'afore hit kilt U."

Which may, at times, be marginally useful,

Unless Yr. breadth+depth of unnerstandin', is

Like KKKristol Bill, Snit Fume, Hush Bimbo,
Sucker TarryTown, Ayny C. etc.

Local Fav, Michael Coren, pretends to London foggery
But he's really more Rhodesian RidgeBack.

Yr. teeny, weeny, mostly meany minds,
+Yr. Canna quite, "Get" the

"Daily/Repor' Repartee."

Smooth Slander, for hire,
Oblivious to Wit+Worth, befuddled by Reality,

Righteous Truthiness vs Da River in Egypt!

Seems Da Boyz, Jon+Stephen, invite Debate.

Not these TV, American Idyll Gabfests,
Among da Contenders. Real Debate.

About Reality, War+Peace, Survival?

So "Calling all Pundits,

"Bring IT (Whatever you can mustard) ON."
(can U keep Yr. piece-o'-cod, unbattered)

Anytime or place, Yr. Frum Canuckistan,

Right David?

Words, at ten paces, and the Crowd gets to
Tazzz!@#$%er, the loser, to their

Happy, Heart's Content. Sweeps Week!

That Colbert Kid, he's got some grit.

Whaddaya, Whaddaya?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Flaherty's Phoney Flattery

Having already demonstrated their trust-worthiness on energy, climate, women and wildlife,

Harpoon and his exchequer, Wee Gimme+Flannery,

Are blowing our 'liberal' "Surplus" on tax cuts,

"Gotta grow the economy."
(GWB! ad nauseum)

Whose economy, Jimster?

Happy Canuck consumers, Hooha! needn't wait 'til next year to spend this windfall, 'cause that's what plastic is for, Yeah?

"Dietech'll squeeze the the last drop of
Equity outta the shack, enaways, soon."

Savvy Santas should stock up on puffers, epi-pens, PFD's and water, not in toxic plastic bottles, for the babes.

Will Annie sing tomorrow, or will she need guns?

$MAS displays, WUWT! up well before,

(Hebrews: 5:7 "...Jesus Wept..")

All Hallow's Eve? (+20C in GTA!)

What Would, be nice, for the "Kiddies"

Is a break, in the all pervasive, non-stop

Bullshit. Everywhere. 24/7.

Aside from the usual electioneering,

This "MiniBud EcNotion," beneath the mask is

"Quick Response Time. Why? Rapid Melting, in

CDN Retail "Outlook" for the annual money shot.

Flogging foreign novelties, produced,

Transported, at ENORMOUS COST,

From workers with very, very, little,

To people with lots, who don't need it,


Welcome to Wal-World, "Wow widgits!"

The "Outlook" is to "Look Out!"

US "Outlets, "Order those scarce, extra

"U/A Humvee Cash Wagons, NOW.

"A Tsumani of Canuck Ca$h is a'comin'!"

The better to "Deepen" the ties, that bind.

Notice, one rarely, hears a discouraging word,

Re: Bush World, from Harpoon et al?

Sic transit Canadiana.

Meanwhile, back in our H+NL,

We'd best soon, look to that

"Leak in the Attic" Folks.

ANYONE, who has ever lived or worked,

In the Canadian Arctic, spent

(Not a photo op, in some nouveau Hostel,

With the "Nanook Nook Igloo Bar,")

TIME on the LAND, watching, listening, KNOWS.

It's not the changes, anymore, nor how fast?

It's how fast it's changing, faster.

More, "Happy, happy talkin' happy talk!"

From the CongratulaTORYS.

These 'economic melts', also anthropogenic,

Are irksome, to some. This Arctic Melt,

Shall be truly "Awesome" for all the Kid's

+Hallowe'ens, down the road. Boo, Who? US.


Inuvialuit MMP's unanimous in remarking,

"Ottawa, Sending the odd drone,
"Up North, is nothing new."

Drip, drip, drip. November! Remember?

Monday, October 29, 2007

See Ya Later, Honey....... Bye, Bye Bees!

"Hey, Farmer, Farmer, put away that DDT.
"Give me spots on my apples, but leave
"Me the birds and the bees now."

Sarah Bink's sweet-sask songstress, Joni.

Some of us oldsters still recall how close

We came to losing ALL the raptors in North America.(1970's)

Now it's the BEES turn. Everywhere.

A brand new, super-duper "Pest"icide,

Based on.... NICOTINE! is one of many,

Many ways we are stressing BEES to the point,

Where apairists and real scientists, WORLD WIDE,

Will hold their breath, when Spring comes, 2008!

To see if Colony Collapse Disorder(CCD) is


Vaya con Dios, Fruits, Nuts, Flowers, Vegetables.

Don't fret Folks, Monsanto's got it covered.

With patent nonsense, for mucho moolah.

"Hey, fuck the kids and their cute li'l puffers,

"Weed-Men do my dandelions,

"The Course looks great, December tee times!

"So, What's for lunch at the Club today?"

Mush! you morons, no LT's for the BLT's!

Go forth, in Yr. foresome, +pollinate, Yrself.

Birds? Going, going, soon gone too.

That's today's Round-Up! Campers.

"Persian Prophesy, For Pussies"

"Cheney shooting doves,
I ran, U ran, we ran, 'til
We met the faux, US!"
Ugo Pogo, ancient Asian sage.

Auchtung Alles:

This War, won't be with Iran.
We'll All get to play 'til the end.
'Cause Russia, China, +
All of us Mooks will have
NO choice but to conclude,

Dublya's da fuck-wit, ne plus ultra,
Since the Urban Papacys.

So, came a singular, Saudi signal
Via OBL, pissed over the fucking given, by
Ronnie+G1, to their Mujahideen manques in
Russo-Afghan fiasco.

Goofy, Gun totin' G.I.'s
Strutting around, in Mecca and Medina!

A payback poke,
"Wake-up Assholes!"
Albeit prodigious,
Property crime or Righteous retribution?

For many, many Millions slaughtered,
In the name of "American Interests"?
(viz. BIG OIL)

Here we go Loop-de-Loop.

From a "Clear Blue Sky"? Not really.
Jett Rink, on Hols!
Arbusto ranchero, pass the dinero.

Sure, 9/11 involved some,
"Collateral Damage."
Though in neither kind or degree equivalent to:

1/Multi-Millions of "Left-over" land-mines.
Whose I.E.D.'s are those Yanks?
Can U say "Depleted uranium Ammo"?

2/Monthly totals, of slaughtered,
Middle Eastern Children.

3/Bi-monthly totals, NRA sanctioned
Handgun homocides, in da Heartland.

4/Daily Totals, of "Fucking Faith Based"
Un-wished Babies.
You reborn, Cretins!

5/Hourly Totals, of Children poisoned,

Still, 9/12/01,
We All gathered 'round, to help, +
Were promptly told to,
(once the goat-petting was done)

Except Tony, the frosted flake, Grrrrate!

A kwick Kabul feint, then
Abandonning Afghans to Nato,
Cheney+Crew convince the, CHC-in-Chief,
That Iraq's "OIL BIDNE$$!"

Now, here we go AGAIN!

"Bomb, Bomb, Bomb...Bomb, Bomb Iran!"
Who Hah, You? Huh!

So, at some point, SOON,
ALL you craven cowards,
In the "Land of the Free" better
Stand up, or STFU.

Gutless, shameless, whining, ignorant dummies.
Bending over! The better to be buggered?
By Bush? The Scofflaw? Cheerleading Chimp?

Romanian Children, Balinese Women,
Make Yanquis,
Look like the Pussies,
That they are now, and always have been.

"Gun Crazed" exceptionalist, chickenshit

In a pinch, there's always the Haig?
"Bring 'em on over."

All those "Funny" little newsy noosies?
They're for necks.
Either Bush/Cheney or Yours.
You choose, Yankee Diddles.

Lucky Canucks, may still vote,
Our very own, local Bushy BumBoys Out.
We had better do it, pronto!

"Get these mutts away from me..
"This ain't funny anymore!"

Whaddaya, Whaddaya?

Friday, October 26, 2007

"Harper's ( Latest ) Contempt For Canada, Count Her Veiling"

Canadians are no better, or worse, than any other nationality, just luckier.

Our "Location" is the Key to our Method.

We are, quite literally, The Top of the Northern Hemisphere,

Pelee to Alert, Cape Race to Haida Gwaii,

"This Land is Some Land."

In Western terms, this is where the Cold comes from, as our Southern neighbours love to gloat.

So begining, about 10-14 thousand years ago, the earliest settlers had to (get/stay) warm quick, or they were dead.

Over many subsequent migrations, from everywhere else on the Planet, the sine qua non was,

"Don't forget Yr. scarf and mittons,

"'Cause Yr. gonna need them." YBYA.

Before Limeys and Frogs could turn all the beavers, into hats!

"Say What? As If? Enough to Grey an Owl!"

A Strange currency, "Pop goes the Weasel."

Everyone had to learn survival. Long+lonely,

Moodiness, weather at wood, or in the

Prairie where, (woe is us) roses are difficult,

La ou, "Mon pays c'est Hiver."

Guess who taught 'em how?

Native Elders, thousands of year's practised.

In return, First Nations got NEW!

Germs, rum, guns and gods,

"Trade" agreements, morphed into "Land Deals,"

"Sovereignty Surrenders?"

Evidently, written in invisible ink.

Sic transit, Longhouse Confederates and Potlatches.

This climate, and vastness, always mitigated routine xenophobia,

Because native culture precludes letting anyone get,
Well, "Many are cold, but few are frozen."

In these isolated, small warm huddles, some commonality occured,

Metis Nation was born, (9 mos+10 secs) after the 1st French "Kiss!"

Now Canada is, by any measure, the principal example of multi-cultural unity on the Planet.

Stop + watch, any recess, any Public School, anytime.

Useful advice, tho' post hoc, to John Of Ont, et al

Soi disant, "Torys."

A "Rumpish" minority, of culty, religiouso,

Exceptionalists, insistant on absolute obesience,

TO THEIR notions, of manner and mores, 'cause


Deeply rooted and reasoned, in diddley squat.

CARELESS, of Conservation, Reasoned Debate,


"Quaint" it ain't.

The "Skipper" is the Right-On Harpoon, + doeshe!

Ever "Double Dutch," as doh! his U.S.Head Office's

Alberta Branch, retro-pubic "Handlers."

CONTEMPUOUS, of all but the "fellows," constantly whinging over

Anything, "Other." Fetishist/ Fascist,

Pubic White Boyz, fundamentaly phat,

Along with their rapturous, viscious handmiddens,

Occassionaly grasping, just enough of any issue,

To be not even wrong. (viz. les autres Faux ici)

Particularly, The Fossil Follies vs Kyoto.

A portly, petulant, pissant, posturing as Leader,

Bush Struck, enthralled with chickenshit, foreign and domestic.

That Climate's still here, changing fast, much, needs, soon.

So give a Big_? To Harp and Wet-Jet, en fin

THE DEBATE, Our #1 Security Issue,

Scarves, Mid-East muslin, on Canadian Voters?

Canada is a BIG COUNTRY, Joey!

You're just stunned, sans the "N" + the "RY"

You and that other OZhole Howard, sn-ugly,

In the RePubic's grouchy pouchy.

Naughty Kittens, lost their mittons.

"Condi Cruises Back East," But Brandy's still Dandy.

The Chevron Tanker, originally christened the "Condoleezza Rice" in honour of their busy, well-connected Executive, you may recall,

Was hastily "re-framed" into the "Altair Voyager,"

Sailing still with, for, and buy OIL.

Master mariners never re-name vessels, to do so mocks

The Prayers of those who go down to the Sea in ships.

Bold Bushys phoney, photo-shop and re-frame, anything they can get their grubby mitts on, to hide motive, baffle the unwary.

Reconsidering Masefield's "Cargoes" when,

Strange, how evocative some Levantine exotica? Yeah?

All of Araby isn't as "Swarthy" as Run-around-Sooey and his minions would have us believe.

Some Lebanese is blonde.

"Condo Rondo"

In an Eastern Land on the Shabbat Day,
Chaverim, take the time to pray;
Torah tells 'em, they are the chosen ones
As they thank their Lord, for the Promised Land,
She drops by to lend a hand.

Loud Likudis cry, Condi! Yr. a Shiksa,
What a good life, shvartze Sistah,
Give us more guns, who could it hurt?
Another bomb or two, yes indeed,
Just a mitzva, what we all need.

In the Levant souks, the Muezzins call,
To Hezbollah, in their busy stalls.
Praise the Prophet, he's the only one.
Our Katyushas, though they often stray,
Keep those infidels at bay.

And the Mullahs cry, Condi! Shake Yr. booty,
Far away from old Baghdad,
See, P.A., Abu Ghraib and Blackwater,
It Saddam shame, or even worse
Praise be the, cheque's in Yr, purse?

Dans la Maisonblanc, they philosophize,
Life begins, when men are makin' eyes;
"We're tasked b'god, there is no other way.
In our "Plans" if 'Others' get the hurt,
Just more dough, for Halliburt."

Whinging LouDee crys, Condi! Yr. a Great "Take"
What a fine Prez you would make;
Frist, deport those migrant workers,
But not the ones that make us rich.
Not to fret, we'll tell you which.

Down the Delta, on the Mississip,
Where da 'Corps'' levees, are such a hit,
Feel the breeze, look out it comes again.
FEMA's great, at laying low da Law,
Yr. trailer's here, in Arkansas.

Reps+Sens all cry, Condi!, Twinkle Toes
You are mighty, lak' a Rose.
At recess time and in each Session,
We wont Delay, those fees so green,
Stic(K)y cash should never be seen.

While many pray, each day for possum stew,
Dead-Eye Dick, does doves on the Q,
And says "F.U." to all and sunders us.
Rummy averred, "Well,that's how it goes!
About those 'throes,' well heaven knows."

"Other" people cry Condi! Get a grip!
Listen more! Button up Yr. lip!
We Want Peace, Not just more of the Con.
Look out Gal, we're all on the brink
All swirling, down a fetid sink.

Iraqi Kids, Afghani children sue
For Peace, Why's War so fine by you?
Israeli babes and minor Muslims wish
Someday, Yr. words ring true
We're up to here, with all Yr. crew.

Strangely channelling the '72 #1 (with a bullet!)

By "Looking Glass"??

So what shall we concluded here, Alice?

Curiouser and Curiouser?

Dee Ye Thunk, we've had enough of Tweedle Dumb?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

"It's Often Hard to Ketchup on WTF Condi Meant,

Multi-Tasking yesterday with C-span, Nat King Cole and a modicum of "Chateau Thames Embanquement" when suddenly:

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Chevron named her,
Only born again draft dodgers make her smile.
Orders come, right from her Bushy, or Dick Cheney,
Or is the policy directed, by Carlyle?

If those Children have to die, to keep the price up,
On the Sacred Sands above the Holy Oil,
It's a write-off, just the cost of doin' bidne$$,
Seven sisters will reward her pious toil.

Like the Hummer buying ditzy, on the TV,
If you diss her, in a sandbox, you are toast,
Not yet time to talk of Peace, or stop the bombing,
Stunned survivors wander on the oily coasts.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Who's Yo' Daddy?
Guns and ammo, price$, profit$ matter most?
Compliments of Texaco, we have a road map,
Some of us don't want to greet, the Holy Ghost.

Condoleezza, cruises talk shows, often Sundays.
When she anchors, foxy pundits are agog.
Paths to Peace are rarely paved, with good intentions,
A little nuke, or two, can always do the job.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, tickles ivory,
Reminiscing with her long-time love Chopin,
Who makes her smile, a little moue, almost a grin,
Almost as though she's secretly, been at the gin.

It's not Yr. will, it's what you wont, dear Condoleezza,
Have you noticed that, we're running out of time?
You must be quick, more dead will pile up, Condoleezza,
This Bushwa's long gone stale, and Yr. all still on our dime.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, barges freely,
'Round the World she sails, so stylish and sublime.
Are you warm, are you real, Condoleezza?
When you lie there, Children die there.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, pay attention,
Persian poppys blow above the graves, Again!
In the scripture, rapture barely rates a mention,
Only Peacemakers go First Class, on the train.


So, considering Erato's such a fickle, "Be-atch" we doubled the usual meds (Cognac, cannabis and occassional coitus) and switched to a more southernly, (traditional) feed, on the crystal set:

Sloe Delta, with Robert Johnson on slack, slide, empty bottle guittar, Lightnin' Hopkins on washtub-bass and Bro Ray piano/vocals, Louis sittin'in on horn, occasionaly assisting on harmony:) a "Core-tet" don'tcha know?

Lento>Allegro:) Let the rhythm, come to you.

Barbie's little Georgie loves Grover Norquist;
Barbie's little Georgie thinks Ralph Reed's cool.
Barbie's little Georgie don't do no research;
Barbie's little Georgie likes Bob Jone's school.

Call up the Guard, give us Yr. kid,
Halliburton don't need to bid.
Put out that joint! Carry full term!
We must protect our Sacred Sperm.

Barbie's little Georgie don't talk to heathens;
Barbie's little Georgie will make us safe.
Barbie's Big Georgie works for Carlyle;
Barbie's little Georgie is such a naif.

Go to the Mall! Buy more crap,
Yr. grandkids will take the rap.
Buy another hummer or an ATV,
Cheney's on a roll in Araby.

Barbie's little Georgie don't do no science;
Barbie's little Georgie gets news from God.
Barbie's little Georgie is The Decider;
Barbie's little Georgie "plays" with the dog.

Homeless kids, got no healthcare;
It's their fault, they must get straight.
Be a Yalie, wear a beanie,
Lead the cheers, avoid debate.

Barbie's little Georgie was court appointed,
Barbie's little Georgie likes slashing brush.
Barbie's little Georgie has LOT'S of free time!
Rides his bike, Rove pats his tush.

So, If you agree, that War is Peace,
Praise the Lord and pass tax cuts,
Laisez les bons temps roulez, now.
Soon it won't matter anyhow.

Barbie's little Georgie's still gots time comin',
Lots of crucial Bills to pass.
Barbie's little Georgie won't wed no Homos!
Barbie's little Georgie protects his ass.

Barbie's little Georgie deserves impeachment;
He says he's above all Laws.
Swore to protect the Constitution,
Well that was just some more Bushwa.

So, come onboard raise up Yr. glass!
Neo-cons ain't nuthin' butt gas.
Save the Land, weed (out) this Bush!
When he shoves, back we must push!
SIGN UP AND VOTE, (be a mule)
Let's revive the Golden Rule!

Cheers Yanks! From Yr. boreal pals, with whom you once,( upon atime) shared the "World's Longest UNdefended Border" and, at least SOME INTEREST in DUE PROCESS, PEACE, Order and good Governance.

Remember? Je me souviens.

P.S. This "Southern Song" is better when sung LOUDLY, over+over, by LARGE CROWDS, full of cheap wine, and Steely resolve, Dan.

We say, PETE SEEGAR! MegaMench, Troubadour Transcendental, River Keeper Extraordinaire, Summa cum Laude, next year, in Oslo,(Peace is awarded in Norway, other Nobels in Stockholm) raise Yr. hands?

Condi 'splains to Congress that Blackwater's raping, pillaging etc. is an 'unfortunate' Blackhole in LAW,

A "lacuna" for all us dummys.

Well Condi, you can cry us a mesopotamia, you stunned..."Punt it down the road,"

You, you, vertically mobile, child of Birmingham, where many marched, and died, presumably within the ambit of both Yr. most private memories, and pain.
Bright, musical, goodlookin' and alledged, by old chums, to have some slight sense, of the plight of so many others, and humour.
Stanford Scolar, Professor, Prosvost, Chevron, Advisor, Diplomat, Friend of Pete's.

When, you write Yr. "Book," would you be so kin, as to tell us,

Just where, on this journey's arc, did that slightest of speed wobbles, become the spectacular, (frightening for all) pas de deux dance macabre, entre Walker et Toi?

(EDIT NOTE: Evidently, the following continues the head quote, (longwinded old bugger, ain't 'e?)

("Arrgh! Billyboyo, welcome aboard laddie.

Have ye niver slung Yr. hook afore?

Drop Yr. seabag and squint! Me Hearty!

Mucho, in-crowd banter follows, leading a sleight titter, to run amongst his new crewmates:)

"So good on Ya! To the protester who confronted Herself, today.

"She, the protester, is absolutely, compleatly and utterly correct,

"She 'had' every 'Right' to say what she will, to 'Her Sec.State.'

Until quite recently.."

And the condiment, as hands-on blood, was an elegant gesture.

Those Persian Carpet invoices?

Fuggetaboutit, Condi, in a master stroke, cancelled their visas.

This Year? In Jerusalem?

You go Girl, or keep on cruisen'.

Don't get us started on Georgie Porgie, for pity's sake.

Pax Vobiscum.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

"A Useful Remedy among the Ashes"

Having watched the premier of "Planet in Peril" (great race to extinction) ably hosted again by A.C., unbidden thoughts of 'rough justice' haunted our dreams.

Given that there are far too many people and many of them feel 'right' in converting any other living thing to Kwick Kash,

Damn the consequence, to all Life on Earth,

Given that Pres Gush loves to compare his Wartime acumen to that of Churchill,

Let's invoke+apply historically appropriate, Churchillian standards, to all those who traffic in treason, wildlife and guns.

Suppose Valerie P. been a char at Blenchley Park?

Summary Execution, for Novak and the other dealers?
Absolutely! Pass the gun, son.

While we're at it, could one of those NRA CHC's, so expert in baring arms, produce a tee-shirt worthy explanation of how to 'load' after the gun is 'locked' ?!

All cattle, no hat.

None of 'em could organize a beer sale on a troop ship.

Re: recent "Blooms" in the desert canyons of California?

"Clearly, this is unrelated to anthropo-idiocy."

Who knew that James Baldwin was so precient a Moonbat, environmentaly?

Ready? Aim!

See ya, next time.

Monday, October 22, 2007

"Calling All Wanderoos! Holy Mogili Hanuman"

This just in from Reuters: Mumbai Memoires,
(Formerly: Bombay Bombast)

"Mayoral Manque Molested by Macacques! Manslaughter? Maybe."

Not to make light of the sad, perhaps even tragic, end of the Deputy Mayor of New Delhi,
(India, not Tobacco, for my GTA pals)

But if the World's Very First "Funny" really was, helpless mirth at the bizzaro demise, of any one of us, then this raga-saga deserves some attention.

It's reported that the vic. was taking his ease, on his first floor balcony, when he was beset by (rhesus) macacques, who having no way to make a living, in the deforested jungle, have joined everyone else, urbanization-wize.

Ever alert for the main chance, this mob's mummery had failed to amuse our mayoral manque, and the expected treats, (according to their key spokes-macacque, Thelonius) were un-vouchsafed.

Perhaps had he been somewhat less niggardly with the Oolong, chapattis and pa'an, the brutes may have supped and seceeded, rather than driving the poor man to mimic Chil, (the kite) in a manner reminiscent of the Bandar log, and launch himself into the jasmine scented, evening breeze,

Thence, both he and his gravitas declined swiftly to a premature conclusion as his noggin came almost to earth, interupted ultimately, by paving stones that exceeded even his official density.

Uncomfirmed rumours suggest that his long suffering wife Raksha, a Green Peace advocate, has advised his surviving male relations, that due to declining forestry everywhere, there shall be no sati for her and they had best save their bhats for sticky wickets,

As she was off to Sandals, (Costa Lotta) the instant the insurance cheque is marque-ed at the banque.

Priveledged, by their association with Hindi Deity, (Hanuman) mucho street-smart macacques roam the cities, in ever larger cabals throughout the sub-continent.

They recruit+train Sacred Cows, form Mounted Cavalry!

To deal with these scofflaws, none of whom has ever contributed a single rupee in tax, Delhi Planners have a dhilly of an idea.

Hire Leapin' Langurs! Hopefully pretrained in advanced macacque attack, (part-time, no bonobofits) to manger these marauders.

Gibbon they can cut the mango, they will have to take an 'Offsite" refresher, at either Blackwater's 'Skull Island,'

Or, on al-Qaida's, now famously popular 'Monkey Bars,'

Re-run so often, on Fox+CNN, lo these many long years,

That senior juniors, now think of Wolf as

An inconvenient blister, on the palm sisters.

We don't want to nitpick but the proboscis is that, other than humumans and a few of our chimpish cousins,

Most monkeys prefer fruits, nuts, flowers + other assorted flora, to lusting for fresh flesh.

(Our fricasseed leg of insurance salesperson (avec remoulade) simply stunned the judges, this Autumn at the Fair.)

Many monks, when not eating, like to socialize, and 'Downtown' macacques, now know the city like the back of their,

Ah, so what if they start an insurgency and recruit the langurs to their cause?

And if langurs succumb to Shiva, adding the second leg to this "Milking Stool of Evil,"

Will lemurs demures, or jump at the first oppo to compleat this terrorist triumvirate,

Thus increasing the Madras rice to re-alms?

"There is no ghee at the U.N over this criminal chutney" said a U.S. spokespinner, clarifying what Condi meant.

Sri Langourous Tamils call langurs "Wanderoos" so, what if the coalition sub-lets a portion of this contract to Tigers?

Vishnu knows they could use the work, aside from macacques, there's LOTS of tasty flesh just walking around for the pouncing?

Which, of course, brings us to Ganesh.

The moment that those metropolitan macacques become howdah houris, who will give a fig, or a care, for Hormuz and where will that leave us?

There are highly confimed reports that yet another cell is operating openly at Gib, the key to the Med, talk of Barbaritry abounds.

Pres. Bush will appoint ex-Sen and erst contender Allen, as Plenopotentiary to Darwin, on a fact-finding mission regarding this troubling escalation in macacque manoeuvers.

Sorry to leave you swingin' here, Folks but its the last subway stop, Kipling, we'll have to scout out a colobus or hike from here,

No great Hulla Baloo.

DYB, DYB, DYB... every day.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Mel G's New Smash, "Deliver us from Weasels" Boffo at B.O.

Sea Folks, it's hotter, the Grid kicks, now+again, and

ALL the ICE, (top+bottom) in Yr. freezer, (or on a small Planet)

MELTS: + Wet Water flows, downhill, even faster than cold hard W,

Although some 'liquidity' has its place,

WTF shall these children DO when/if they are old, like us?

So, since we're all careening towards, assuming THE position, (in the Summary Kitchen) with GAIA, enaways, perhaps,

While not, altogether, abandonning some useful divertimentos,

DUYA THUNK, just maybe, (Can U spell hand-basket?)

WE should QUIT watchin' ALL these, tacky,

Stale, mundane, dreary, glottal-stopping,

"Re-(pubic=canned)-runs" of "Deliverance,"

Catch the twang, in our thang?

(Ain't that, a "Berry" ding-a-ling?)

"She was only a boot-leggers daughter, but Lord I love her

Still," On rare occassion, a Movie "CRYS OUT" for,

HOMAGE, Right(eous):

(Never say never Newt!)

How about, "D2" The Re-Make, Mel's latest parabola of psalms to sickening, sex+violence?



"Loose the RUM BALLS, Smithers!"

"Coming soon to a screen, (in Yr. jeans) Aye pods,

"S'wash yer bucks, shivvver me.... arrgh Mateys."

Tippi-Canoeing, Gitchi Niagara, just upstream, from



Bearing a (short) point, W.NNW.(TRUE)

(If you can keep sidereal, on waxing declinations,
When all about you, others (w)reckon,
Yr. splice's knot kwhite write)

"Avast ye scurvy curs,

"Log it, don't flog it,

"Yeah, you would, Stock,") well,

Much jocular 'mooning', aux canots,

By+large+by+with, each other, +those,

Wiccad sleek Lee low ryder,

(Why can't we, be friends?)

Tight, panting alt 'Honeys,'

Lingering lubriciously, on the Canuck side.

Quel dommage, ou tant pis? Well, it all 'depends.'

Under the drinking Gordo, Terminus of ye olde, The Underground RR.

Plusiers des chansons, pour nos joyeaux voyageurs, as

They come abreast.... of (petting) Goat Island.


The Last Chance, So-Soon, So-Long, Saloon,"

It's high noon, no moon, June, Looney Tunes, a boonery.

Snappy, Boozy frat-chat on how, to best, exploit:

Esoteric 'bundles' of derivitive bushwa, for mega-bucks.

Yeehaw! (on roulant ma boule roulant)

Butt will, our roguish rowers:

Rue, rue, rue, the day?
Repent? Retreat? Rehab?
Report for Repechange?
Reap Booty or Residuals?

Whew! A veritable cliffhanger, Folks, perilous-er than

Pauline, Johnson!

O.K.? U got the drift, now its Yr. story,

Yo, U da "Director." Bring it ON>

N.B. All Senarios, no returns.

Superior sagas get digital, two-way wrist radios, that get dick, E byes.

{We eddy, towards a daring denoument, where nifty, laser swords,

Transform, in a timely fashion, into neato, nimbus (2008) paddles.

(Gotta luv the demographic)

Or, a more spiritual dangle:

"Nary a, dree e' in tha' Kirks" when,

At the mad (cli) max, Land o' Goshen, 'Salvation!'

(Premium subscribers get BONUS, redemption, FREE, sign up/in NOW)

By way of beautifully buoyant,

Braveheart(ed) brantis, (canadiensis)

(Amphib-Airborne, Adm. Anna Paquin (OIC) NORAD CENCOM.)

Cheering throngs, great+full, agree to, NO MORE:

Thongs, (on viagara) sur la plage, etc.
Goosing the goslings. (pan-specieal)
Bogus Gov. Crap 'grass'

Less "Fescue too!" More bent creeping, by our (Hon.) Members}

ALL Scenes, featuring "soiled undies," (gotcha) eh, priority, must:

1/Be vetted, "Constitution-wize" by the ever, affable Stevie Hadley, (tented fingers, forked tongue)

2/Endorsed, by swift response crews, at the RNC, who are both, Regent Falwell Scholars and have successfully combleated,

(So as to be furry, in the fold.)

3/Clown College, at the "Circus of Traditional Family Affaires'"

New Bib Campus(sy), Bah Ram U.

4/Chez, sweet Ayny (L.) Colder's winter stomping grounds.

A "Barrel of Macacas," yeah? Maybe, even

A palpable _? Well, that depends on U tubing.

Oh, 'THAT' The other "MEL-" thing?

Well, when ICE, ON LAND, MELTS,

"It be long OCEAN, Deeper, Wider, Higher,

"If Yr. a 'shore bird' not good Tidings."

Check with Tush el-Bimbo, he'll explain:

("Freshwater Perturbations of Haline Concentrations in the Davis Strait, as a Function of Oceanic, Thermal Current Vectors" Victor.)

Everything. With Yr. favourites: familiar, viciously, vicarious anal probes.

It's Lush's long suet.

All you cutie buns, ("") ditzziods,

Giving heed(Sp?) sucking on loaded, wooden see-gars,

Sure, he's got a Smokin' "plan-a-tell-ya,"

Butt it's a show "BIT," Folks, it's in Yr. teeth, not hizzuns.

Deep in the bottom, of Yr. heart, you know he's a bummer.

So, who to pick, to STAR, on Banjo, Bowie Knife, Bow+Arrow?

Who but a smirking chimp, could ever ape, (shit)

Great mimics (Guiness,Sellers,Murphy) in multi-role cameos?

Why not a 'coffer filler upper'?? For Barbie's L'il Georgie:

Our Decisive, Fearless, Run-around-Sooey. (Heh Heh Heh:)

My time is Yr. time, but it's getting rather late,

For the children?

Don'tcha, whaddaya?

Drip, drip, drip,

"Hiss h'ar corn? it's sumpin' special, ain't it?"

You said a whole mouthful, Pardner,

Keep Yr. paddle in the water.