Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Flaherty's Phoney Flattery

Having already demonstrated their trust-worthiness on energy, climate, women and wildlife,

Harpoon and his exchequer, Wee Gimme+Flannery,

Are blowing our 'liberal' "Surplus" on tax cuts,

"Gotta grow the economy."
(GWB! ad nauseum)

Whose economy, Jimster?

Happy Canuck consumers, Hooha! needn't wait 'til next year to spend this windfall, 'cause that's what plastic is for, Yeah?

"Dietech'll squeeze the the last drop of
Equity outta the shack, enaways, soon."

Savvy Santas should stock up on puffers, epi-pens, PFD's and water, not in toxic plastic bottles, for the babes.

Will Annie sing tomorrow, or will she need guns?

$MAS displays, WUWT! up well before,

(Hebrews: 5:7 "...Jesus Wept..")

All Hallow's Eve? (+20C in GTA!)

What Would, be nice, for the "Kiddies"

Is a break, in the all pervasive, non-stop

Bullshit. Everywhere. 24/7.

Aside from the usual electioneering,

This "MiniBud EcNotion," beneath the mask is

"Quick Response Time. Why? Rapid Melting, in

CDN Retail "Outlook" for the annual money shot.

Flogging foreign novelties, produced,

Transported, at ENORMOUS COST,

From workers with very, very, little,

To people with lots, who don't need it,


Welcome to Wal-World, "Wow widgits!"

The "Outlook" is to "Look Out!"

US "Outlets, "Order those scarce, extra

"U/A Humvee Cash Wagons, NOW.

"A Tsumani of Canuck Ca$h is a'comin'!"

The better to "Deepen" the ties, that bind.

Notice, one rarely, hears a discouraging word,

Re: Bush World, from Harpoon et al?

Sic transit Canadiana.

Meanwhile, back in our H+NL,

We'd best soon, look to that

"Leak in the Attic" Folks.

ANYONE, who has ever lived or worked,

In the Canadian Arctic, spent

(Not a photo op, in some nouveau Hostel,

With the "Nanook Nook Igloo Bar,")

TIME on the LAND, watching, listening, KNOWS.

It's not the changes, anymore, nor how fast?

It's how fast it's changing, faster.

More, "Happy, happy talkin' happy talk!"

From the CongratulaTORYS.

These 'economic melts', also anthropogenic,

Are irksome, to some. This Arctic Melt,

Shall be truly "Awesome" for all the Kid's

+Hallowe'ens, down the road. Boo, Who? US.


Inuvialuit MMP's unanimous in remarking,

"Ottawa, Sending the odd drone,
"Up North, is nothing new."

Drip, drip, drip. November! Remember?

Monday, October 29, 2007

See Ya Later, Honey....... Bye, Bye Bees!

"Hey, Farmer, Farmer, put away that DDT.
"Give me spots on my apples, but leave
"Me the birds and the bees now."

Sarah Bink's sweet-sask songstress, Joni.

Some of us oldsters still recall how close

We came to losing ALL the raptors in North America.(1970's)

Now it's the BEES turn. Everywhere.

A brand new, super-duper "Pest"icide,

Based on.... NICOTINE! is one of many,

Many ways we are stressing BEES to the point,

Where apairists and real scientists, WORLD WIDE,

Will hold their breath, when Spring comes, 2008!

To see if Colony Collapse Disorder(CCD) is


Vaya con Dios, Fruits, Nuts, Flowers, Vegetables.

Don't fret Folks, Monsanto's got it covered.

With patent nonsense, for mucho moolah.

"Hey, fuck the kids and their cute li'l puffers,

"Weed-Men do my dandelions,

"The Course looks great, December tee times!

"So, What's for lunch at the Club today?"

Mush! you morons, no LT's for the BLT's!

Go forth, in Yr. foresome, +pollinate, Yrself.

Birds? Going, going, soon gone too.

That's today's Round-Up! Campers.

"Persian Prophesy, For Pussies"

"Cheney shooting doves,
I ran, U ran, we ran, 'til
We met the faux, US!"
Ugo Pogo, ancient Asian sage.

Auchtung Alles:

This War, won't be with Iran.
We'll All get to play 'til the end.
'Cause Russia, China, +
All of us Mooks will have
NO choice but to conclude,

Dublya's da fuck-wit, ne plus ultra,
Since the Urban Papacys.

So, came a singular, Saudi signal
Via OBL, pissed over the fucking given, by
Ronnie+G1, to their Mujahideen manques in
Russo-Afghan fiasco.

Goofy, Gun totin' G.I.'s
Strutting around, in Mecca and Medina!

A payback poke,
"Wake-up Assholes!"
Albeit prodigious,
Property crime or Righteous retribution?

For many, many Millions slaughtered,
In the name of "American Interests"?
(viz. BIG OIL)

Here we go Loop-de-Loop.

From a "Clear Blue Sky"? Not really.
Jett Rink, on Hols!
Arbusto ranchero, pass the dinero.

Sure, 9/11 involved some,
"Collateral Damage."
Though in neither kind or degree equivalent to:

1/Multi-Millions of "Left-over" land-mines.
Whose I.E.D.'s are those Yanks?
Can U say "Depleted uranium Ammo"?

2/Monthly totals, of slaughtered,
Middle Eastern Children.

3/Bi-monthly totals, NRA sanctioned
Handgun homocides, in da Heartland.

4/Daily Totals, of "Fucking Faith Based"
Un-wished Babies.
You reborn, Cretins!

5/Hourly Totals, of Children poisoned,

Still, 9/12/01,
We All gathered 'round, to help, +
Were promptly told to,
(once the goat-petting was done)

Except Tony, the frosted flake, Grrrrate!

A kwick Kabul feint, then
Abandonning Afghans to Nato,
Cheney+Crew convince the, CHC-in-Chief,
That Iraq's "OIL BIDNE$$!"

Now, here we go AGAIN!

"Bomb, Bomb, Bomb...Bomb, Bomb Iran!"
Who Hah, You? Huh!

So, at some point, SOON,
ALL you craven cowards,
In the "Land of the Free" better
Stand up, or STFU.

Gutless, shameless, whining, ignorant dummies.
Bending over! The better to be buggered?
By Bush? The Scofflaw? Cheerleading Chimp?

Romanian Children, Balinese Women,
Make Yanquis,
Look like the Pussies,
That they are now, and always have been.

"Gun Crazed" exceptionalist, chickenshit

In a pinch, there's always the Haig?
"Bring 'em on over."

All those "Funny" little newsy noosies?
They're for necks.
Either Bush/Cheney or Yours.
You choose, Yankee Diddles.

Lucky Canucks, may still vote,
Our very own, local Bushy BumBoys Out.
We had better do it, pronto!

"Get these mutts away from me..
"This ain't funny anymore!"

Whaddaya, Whaddaya?

Friday, October 26, 2007

"Harper's ( Latest ) Contempt For Canada, Count Her Veiling"

Canadians are no better, or worse, than any other nationality, just luckier.

Our "Location" is the Key to our Method.

We are, quite literally, The Top of the Northern Hemisphere,

Pelee to Alert, Cape Race to Haida Gwaii,

"This Land is Some Land."

In Western terms, this is where the Cold comes from, as our Southern neighbours love to gloat.

So begining, about 10-14 thousand years ago, the earliest settlers had to (get/stay) warm quick, or they were dead.

Over many subsequent migrations, from everywhere else on the Planet, the sine qua non was,

"Don't forget Yr. scarf and mittons,

"'Cause Yr. gonna need them." YBYA.

Before Limeys and Frogs could turn all the beavers, into hats!

"Say What? As If? Enough to Grey an Owl!"

A Strange currency, "Pop goes the Weasel."

Everyone had to learn survival. Long+lonely,

Moodiness, weather at wood, or in the

Prairie where, (woe is us) roses are difficult,

La ou, "Mon pays c'est Hiver."

Guess who taught 'em how?

Native Elders, thousands of year's practised.

In return, First Nations got NEW!

Germs, rum, guns and gods,

"Trade" agreements, morphed into "Land Deals,"

"Sovereignty Surrenders?"

Evidently, written in invisible ink.

Sic transit, Longhouse Confederates and Potlatches.

This climate, and vastness, always mitigated routine xenophobia,

Because native culture precludes letting anyone get,
Well, "Many are cold, but few are frozen."

In these isolated, small warm huddles, some commonality occured,

Metis Nation was born, (9 mos+10 secs) after the 1st French "Kiss!"

Now Canada is, by any measure, the principal example of multi-cultural unity on the Planet.

Stop + watch, any recess, any Public School, anytime.

Useful advice, tho' post hoc, to John Of Ont, et al

Soi disant, "Torys."

A "Rumpish" minority, of culty, religiouso,

Exceptionalists, insistant on absolute obesience,

TO THEIR notions, of manner and mores, 'cause


Deeply rooted and reasoned, in diddley squat.

CARELESS, of Conservation, Reasoned Debate,


"Quaint" it ain't.

The "Skipper" is the Right-On Harpoon, + doeshe!

Ever "Double Dutch," as doh! his U.S.Head Office's

Alberta Branch, retro-pubic "Handlers."

CONTEMPUOUS, of all but the "fellows," constantly whinging over

Anything, "Other." Fetishist/ Fascist,

Pubic White Boyz, fundamentaly phat,

Along with their rapturous, viscious handmiddens,

Occassionaly grasping, just enough of any issue,

To be not even wrong. (viz. les autres Faux ici)

Particularly, The Fossil Follies vs Kyoto.

A portly, petulant, pissant, posturing as Leader,

Bush Struck, enthralled with chickenshit, foreign and domestic.

That Climate's still here, changing fast, much, needs, soon.

So give a Big_? To Harp and Wet-Jet, en fin

THE DEBATE, Our #1 Security Issue,

Scarves, Mid-East muslin, on Canadian Voters?

Canada is a BIG COUNTRY, Joey!

You're just stunned, sans the "N" + the "RY"

You and that other OZhole Howard, sn-ugly,

In the RePubic's grouchy pouchy.

Naughty Kittens, lost their mittons.

"Condi Cruises Back East," But Brandy's still Dandy.

The Chevron Tanker, originally christened the "Condoleezza Rice" in honour of their busy, well-connected Executive, you may recall,

Was hastily "re-framed" into the "Altair Voyager,"

Sailing still with, for, and buy OIL.

Master mariners never re-name vessels, to do so mocks

The Prayers of those who go down to the Sea in ships.

Bold Bushys phoney, photo-shop and re-frame, anything they can get their grubby mitts on, to hide motive, baffle the unwary.

Reconsidering Masefield's "Cargoes" when,

Strange, how evocative some Levantine exotica? Yeah?

All of Araby isn't as "Swarthy" as Run-around-Sooey and his minions would have us believe.

Some Lebanese is blonde.

"Condo Rondo"

In an Eastern Land on the Shabbat Day,
Chaverim, take the time to pray;
Torah tells 'em, they are the chosen ones
As they thank their Lord, for the Promised Land,
She drops by to lend a hand.

Loud Likudis cry, Condi! Yr. a Shiksa,
What a good life, shvartze Sistah,
Give us more guns, who could it hurt?
Another bomb or two, yes indeed,
Just a mitzva, what we all need.

In the Levant souks, the Muezzins call,
To Hezbollah, in their busy stalls.
Praise the Prophet, he's the only one.
Our Katyushas, though they often stray,
Keep those infidels at bay.

And the Mullahs cry, Condi! Shake Yr. booty,
Far away from old Baghdad,
See, P.A., Abu Ghraib and Blackwater,
It Saddam shame, or even worse
Praise be the, cheque's in Yr, purse?

Dans la Maisonblanc, they philosophize,
Life begins, when men are makin' eyes;
"We're tasked b'god, there is no other way.
In our "Plans" if 'Others' get the hurt,
Just more dough, for Halliburt."

Whinging LouDee crys, Condi! Yr. a Great "Take"
What a fine Prez you would make;
Frist, deport those migrant workers,
But not the ones that make us rich.
Not to fret, we'll tell you which.

Down the Delta, on the Mississip,
Where da 'Corps'' levees, are such a hit,
Feel the breeze, look out it comes again.
FEMA's great, at laying low da Law,
Yr. trailer's here, in Arkansas.

Reps+Sens all cry, Condi!, Twinkle Toes
You are mighty, lak' a Rose.
At recess time and in each Session,
We wont Delay, those fees so green,
Stic(K)y cash should never be seen.

While many pray, each day for possum stew,
Dead-Eye Dick, does doves on the Q,
And says "F.U." to all and sunders us.
Rummy averred, "Well,that's how it goes!
About those 'throes,' well heaven knows."

"Other" people cry Condi! Get a grip!
Listen more! Button up Yr. lip!
We Want Peace, Not just more of the Con.
Look out Gal, we're all on the brink
All swirling, down a fetid sink.

Iraqi Kids, Afghani children sue
For Peace, Why's War so fine by you?
Israeli babes and minor Muslims wish
Someday, Yr. words ring true
We're up to here, with all Yr. crew.

Strangely channelling the '72 #1 (with a bullet!)

By "Looking Glass"??

So what shall we concluded here, Alice?

Curiouser and Curiouser?

Dee Ye Thunk, we've had enough of Tweedle Dumb?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

"It's Often Hard to Ketchup on WTF Condi Meant,

Multi-Tasking yesterday with C-span, Nat King Cole and a modicum of "Chateau Thames Embanquement" when suddenly:

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Chevron named her,
Only born again draft dodgers make her smile.
Orders come, right from her Bushy, or Dick Cheney,
Or is the policy directed, by Carlyle?

If those Children have to die, to keep the price up,
On the Sacred Sands above the Holy Oil,
It's a write-off, just the cost of doin' bidne$$,
Seven sisters will reward her pious toil.

Like the Hummer buying ditzy, on the TV,
If you diss her, in a sandbox, you are toast,
Not yet time to talk of Peace, or stop the bombing,
Stunned survivors wander on the oily coasts.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Who's Yo' Daddy?
Guns and ammo, price$, profit$ matter most?
Compliments of Texaco, we have a road map,
Some of us don't want to greet, the Holy Ghost.

Condoleezza, cruises talk shows, often Sundays.
When she anchors, foxy pundits are agog.
Paths to Peace are rarely paved, with good intentions,
A little nuke, or two, can always do the job.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, tickles ivory,
Reminiscing with her long-time love Chopin,
Who makes her smile, a little moue, almost a grin,
Almost as though she's secretly, been at the gin.

It's not Yr. will, it's what you wont, dear Condoleezza,
Have you noticed that, we're running out of time?
You must be quick, more dead will pile up, Condoleezza,
This Bushwa's long gone stale, and Yr. all still on our dime.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, barges freely,
'Round the World she sails, so stylish and sublime.
Are you warm, are you real, Condoleezza?
When you lie there, Children die there.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, pay attention,
Persian poppys blow above the graves, Again!
In the scripture, rapture barely rates a mention,
Only Peacemakers go First Class, on the train.


So, considering Erato's such a fickle, "Be-atch" we doubled the usual meds (Cognac, cannabis and occassional coitus) and switched to a more southernly, (traditional) feed, on the crystal set:

Sloe Delta, with Robert Johnson on slack, slide, empty bottle guittar, Lightnin' Hopkins on washtub-bass and Bro Ray piano/vocals, Louis sittin'in on horn, occasionaly assisting on harmony:) a "Core-tet" don'tcha know?

Lento>Allegro:) Let the rhythm, come to you.

Barbie's little Georgie loves Grover Norquist;
Barbie's little Georgie thinks Ralph Reed's cool.
Barbie's little Georgie don't do no research;
Barbie's little Georgie likes Bob Jone's school.

Call up the Guard, give us Yr. kid,
Halliburton don't need to bid.
Put out that joint! Carry full term!
We must protect our Sacred Sperm.

Barbie's little Georgie don't talk to heathens;
Barbie's little Georgie will make us safe.
Barbie's Big Georgie works for Carlyle;
Barbie's little Georgie is such a naif.

Go to the Mall! Buy more crap,
Yr. grandkids will take the rap.
Buy another hummer or an ATV,
Cheney's on a roll in Araby.

Barbie's little Georgie don't do no science;
Barbie's little Georgie gets news from God.
Barbie's little Georgie is The Decider;
Barbie's little Georgie "plays" with the dog.

Homeless kids, got no healthcare;
It's their fault, they must get straight.
Be a Yalie, wear a beanie,
Lead the cheers, avoid debate.

Barbie's little Georgie was court appointed,
Barbie's little Georgie likes slashing brush.
Barbie's little Georgie has LOT'S of free time!
Rides his bike, Rove pats his tush.

So, If you agree, that War is Peace,
Praise the Lord and pass tax cuts,
Laisez les bons temps roulez, now.
Soon it won't matter anyhow.

Barbie's little Georgie's still gots time comin',
Lots of crucial Bills to pass.
Barbie's little Georgie won't wed no Homos!
Barbie's little Georgie protects his ass.

Barbie's little Georgie deserves impeachment;
He says he's above all Laws.
Swore to protect the Constitution,
Well that was just some more Bushwa.

So, come onboard raise up Yr. glass!
Neo-cons ain't nuthin' butt gas.
Save the Land, weed (out) this Bush!
When he shoves, back we must push!
SIGN UP AND VOTE, (be a mule)
Let's revive the Golden Rule!

Cheers Yanks! From Yr. boreal pals, with whom you once,( upon atime) shared the "World's Longest UNdefended Border" and, at least SOME INTEREST in DUE PROCESS, PEACE, Order and good Governance.

Remember? Je me souviens.

P.S. This "Southern Song" is better when sung LOUDLY, over+over, by LARGE CROWDS, full of cheap wine, and Steely resolve, Dan.

We say, PETE SEEGAR! MegaMench, Troubadour Transcendental, River Keeper Extraordinaire, Summa cum Laude, next year, in Oslo,(Peace is awarded in Norway, other Nobels in Stockholm) raise Yr. hands?

Condi 'splains to Congress that Blackwater's raping, pillaging etc. is an 'unfortunate' Blackhole in LAW,

A "lacuna" for all us dummys.

Well Condi, you can cry us a mesopotamia, you stunned..."Punt it down the road,"

You, you, vertically mobile, child of Birmingham, where many marched, and died, presumably within the ambit of both Yr. most private memories, and pain.
Bright, musical, goodlookin' and alledged, by old chums, to have some slight sense, of the plight of so many others, and humour.
Stanford Scolar, Professor, Prosvost, Chevron, Advisor, Diplomat, Friend of Pete's.

When, you write Yr. "Book," would you be so kin, as to tell us,

Just where, on this journey's arc, did that slightest of speed wobbles, become the spectacular, (frightening for all) pas de deux dance macabre, entre Walker et Toi?

(EDIT NOTE: Evidently, the following continues the head quote, (longwinded old bugger, ain't 'e?)

("Arrgh! Billyboyo, welcome aboard laddie.

Have ye niver slung Yr. hook afore?

Drop Yr. seabag and squint! Me Hearty!

Mucho, in-crowd banter follows, leading a sleight titter, to run amongst his new crewmates:)

"So good on Ya! To the protester who confronted Herself, today.

"She, the protester, is absolutely, compleatly and utterly correct,

"She 'had' every 'Right' to say what she will, to 'Her Sec.State.'

Until quite recently.."

And the condiment, as hands-on blood, was an elegant gesture.

Those Persian Carpet invoices?

Fuggetaboutit, Condi, in a master stroke, cancelled their visas.

This Year? In Jerusalem?

You go Girl, or keep on cruisen'.

Don't get us started on Georgie Porgie, for pity's sake.

Pax Vobiscum.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

"A Useful Remedy among the Ashes"

Having watched the premier of "Planet in Peril" (great race to extinction) ably hosted again by A.C., unbidden thoughts of 'rough justice' haunted our dreams.

Given that there are far too many people and many of them feel 'right' in converting any other living thing to Kwick Kash,

Damn the consequence, to all Life on Earth,

Given that Pres Gush loves to compare his Wartime acumen to that of Churchill,

Let's invoke+apply historically appropriate, Churchillian standards, to all those who traffic in treason, wildlife and guns.

Suppose Valerie P. been a char at Blenchley Park?

Summary Execution, for Novak and the other dealers?
Absolutely! Pass the gun, son.

While we're at it, could one of those NRA CHC's, so expert in baring arms, produce a tee-shirt worthy explanation of how to 'load' after the gun is 'locked' ?!

All cattle, no hat.

None of 'em could organize a beer sale on a troop ship.

Re: recent "Blooms" in the desert canyons of California?

"Clearly, this is unrelated to anthropo-idiocy."

Who knew that James Baldwin was so precient a Moonbat, environmentaly?

Ready? Aim!

See ya, next time.

Monday, October 22, 2007

"Calling All Wanderoos! Holy Mogili Hanuman"

This just in from Reuters: Mumbai Memoires,
(Formerly: Bombay Bombast)

"Mayoral Manque Molested by Macacques! Manslaughter? Maybe."

Not to make light of the sad, perhaps even tragic, end of the Deputy Mayor of New Delhi,
(India, not Tobacco, for my GTA pals)

But if the World's Very First "Funny" really was, helpless mirth at the bizzaro demise, of any one of us, then this raga-saga deserves some attention.

It's reported that the vic. was taking his ease, on his first floor balcony, when he was beset by (rhesus) macacques, who having no way to make a living, in the deforested jungle, have joined everyone else, urbanization-wize.

Ever alert for the main chance, this mob's mummery had failed to amuse our mayoral manque, and the expected treats, (according to their key spokes-macacque, Thelonius) were un-vouchsafed.

Perhaps had he been somewhat less niggardly with the Oolong, chapattis and pa'an, the brutes may have supped and seceeded, rather than driving the poor man to mimic Chil, (the kite) in a manner reminiscent of the Bandar log, and launch himself into the jasmine scented, evening breeze,

Thence, both he and his gravitas declined swiftly to a premature conclusion as his noggin came almost to earth, interupted ultimately, by paving stones that exceeded even his official density.

Uncomfirmed rumours suggest that his long suffering wife Raksha, a Green Peace advocate, has advised his surviving male relations, that due to declining forestry everywhere, there shall be no sati for her and they had best save their bhats for sticky wickets,

As she was off to Sandals, (Costa Lotta) the instant the insurance cheque is marque-ed at the banque.

Priveledged, by their association with Hindi Deity, (Hanuman) mucho street-smart macacques roam the cities, in ever larger cabals throughout the sub-continent.

They recruit+train Sacred Cows, form Mounted Cavalry!

To deal with these scofflaws, none of whom has ever contributed a single rupee in tax, Delhi Planners have a dhilly of an idea.

Hire Leapin' Langurs! Hopefully pretrained in advanced macacque attack, (part-time, no bonobofits) to manger these marauders.

Gibbon they can cut the mango, they will have to take an 'Offsite" refresher, at either Blackwater's 'Skull Island,'

Or, on al-Qaida's, now famously popular 'Monkey Bars,'

Re-run so often, on Fox+CNN, lo these many long years,

That senior juniors, now think of Wolf as

An inconvenient blister, on the palm sisters.

We don't want to nitpick but the proboscis is that, other than humumans and a few of our chimpish cousins,

Most monkeys prefer fruits, nuts, flowers + other assorted flora, to lusting for fresh flesh.

(Our fricasseed leg of insurance salesperson (avec remoulade) simply stunned the judges, this Autumn at the Fair.)

Many monks, when not eating, like to socialize, and 'Downtown' macacques, now know the city like the back of their,

Ah, so what if they start an insurgency and recruit the langurs to their cause?

And if langurs succumb to Shiva, adding the second leg to this "Milking Stool of Evil,"

Will lemurs demures, or jump at the first oppo to compleat this terrorist triumvirate,

Thus increasing the Madras rice to re-alms?

"There is no ghee at the U.N over this criminal chutney" said a U.S. spokespinner, clarifying what Condi meant.

Sri Langourous Tamils call langurs "Wanderoos" so, what if the coalition sub-lets a portion of this contract to Tigers?

Vishnu knows they could use the work, aside from macacques, there's LOTS of tasty flesh just walking around for the pouncing?

Which, of course, brings us to Ganesh.

The moment that those metropolitan macacques become howdah houris, who will give a fig, or a care, for Hormuz and where will that leave us?

There are highly confimed reports that yet another cell is operating openly at Gib, the key to the Med, talk of Barbaritry abounds.

Pres. Bush will appoint ex-Sen and erst contender Allen, as Plenopotentiary to Darwin, on a fact-finding mission regarding this troubling escalation in macacque manoeuvers.

Sorry to leave you swingin' here, Folks but its the last subway stop, Kipling, we'll have to scout out a colobus or hike from here,

No great Hulla Baloo.

DYB, DYB, DYB... every day.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Mel G's New Smash, "Deliver us from Weasels" Boffo at B.O.

Sea Folks, it's hotter, the Grid kicks, now+again, and

ALL the ICE, (top+bottom) in Yr. freezer, (or on a small Planet)

MELTS: + Wet Water flows, downhill, even faster than cold hard W,

Although some 'liquidity' has its place,

WTF shall these children DO when/if they are old, like us?

So, since we're all careening towards, assuming THE position, (in the Summary Kitchen) with GAIA, enaways, perhaps,

While not, altogether, abandonning some useful divertimentos,

DUYA THUNK, just maybe, (Can U spell hand-basket?)

WE should QUIT watchin' ALL these, tacky,

Stale, mundane, dreary, glottal-stopping,

"Re-(pubic=canned)-runs" of "Deliverance,"

Catch the twang, in our thang?

(Ain't that, a "Berry" ding-a-ling?)

"She was only a boot-leggers daughter, but Lord I love her

Still," On rare occassion, a Movie "CRYS OUT" for,

HOMAGE, Right(eous):

(Never say never Newt!)

How about, "D2" The Re-Make, Mel's latest parabola of psalms to sickening, sex+violence?



"Loose the RUM BALLS, Smithers!"

"Coming soon to a screen, (in Yr. jeans) Aye pods,

"S'wash yer bucks, shivvver me.... arrgh Mateys."

Tippi-Canoeing, Gitchi Niagara, just upstream, from



Bearing a (short) point, W.NNW.(TRUE)

(If you can keep sidereal, on waxing declinations,
When all about you, others (w)reckon,
Yr. splice's knot kwhite write)

"Avast ye scurvy curs,

"Log it, don't flog it,

"Yeah, you would, Stock,") well,

Much jocular 'mooning', aux canots,

By+large+by+with, each other, +those,

Wiccad sleek Lee low ryder,

(Why can't we, be friends?)

Tight, panting alt 'Honeys,'

Lingering lubriciously, on the Canuck side.

Quel dommage, ou tant pis? Well, it all 'depends.'

Under the drinking Gordo, Terminus of ye olde, The Underground RR.

Plusiers des chansons, pour nos joyeaux voyageurs, as

They come abreast.... of (petting) Goat Island.


The Last Chance, So-Soon, So-Long, Saloon,"

It's high noon, no moon, June, Looney Tunes, a boonery.

Snappy, Boozy frat-chat on how, to best, exploit:

Esoteric 'bundles' of derivitive bushwa, for mega-bucks.

Yeehaw! (on roulant ma boule roulant)

Butt will, our roguish rowers:

Rue, rue, rue, the day?
Repent? Retreat? Rehab?
Report for Repechange?
Reap Booty or Residuals?

Whew! A veritable cliffhanger, Folks, perilous-er than

Pauline, Johnson!

O.K.? U got the drift, now its Yr. story,

Yo, U da "Director." Bring it ON>

N.B. All Senarios, no returns.

Superior sagas get digital, two-way wrist radios, that get dick, E byes.

{We eddy, towards a daring denoument, where nifty, laser swords,

Transform, in a timely fashion, into neato, nimbus (2008) paddles.

(Gotta luv the demographic)

Or, a more spiritual dangle:

"Nary a, dree e' in tha' Kirks" when,

At the mad (cli) max, Land o' Goshen, 'Salvation!'

(Premium subscribers get BONUS, redemption, FREE, sign up/in NOW)

By way of beautifully buoyant,

Braveheart(ed) brantis, (canadiensis)

(Amphib-Airborne, Adm. Anna Paquin (OIC) NORAD CENCOM.)

Cheering throngs, great+full, agree to, NO MORE:

Thongs, (on viagara) sur la plage, etc.
Goosing the goslings. (pan-specieal)
Bogus Gov. Crap 'grass'

Less "Fescue too!" More bent creeping, by our (Hon.) Members}

ALL Scenes, featuring "soiled undies," (gotcha) eh, priority, must:

1/Be vetted, "Constitution-wize" by the ever, affable Stevie Hadley, (tented fingers, forked tongue)

2/Endorsed, by swift response crews, at the RNC, who are both, Regent Falwell Scholars and have successfully combleated,

(So as to be furry, in the fold.)

3/Clown College, at the "Circus of Traditional Family Affaires'"

New Bib Campus(sy), Bah Ram U.

4/Chez, sweet Ayny (L.) Colder's winter stomping grounds.

A "Barrel of Macacas," yeah? Maybe, even

A palpable _? Well, that depends on U tubing.

Oh, 'THAT' The other "MEL-" thing?

Well, when ICE, ON LAND, MELTS,

"It be long OCEAN, Deeper, Wider, Higher,

"If Yr. a 'shore bird' not good Tidings."

Check with Tush el-Bimbo, he'll explain:

("Freshwater Perturbations of Haline Concentrations in the Davis Strait, as a Function of Oceanic, Thermal Current Vectors" Victor.)

Everything. With Yr. favourites: familiar, viciously, vicarious anal probes.

It's Lush's long suet.

All you cutie buns, ("") ditzziods,

Giving heed(Sp?) sucking on loaded, wooden see-gars,

Sure, he's got a Smokin' "plan-a-tell-ya,"

Butt it's a show "BIT," Folks, it's in Yr. teeth, not hizzuns.

Deep in the bottom, of Yr. heart, you know he's a bummer.

So, who to pick, to STAR, on Banjo, Bowie Knife, Bow+Arrow?

Who but a smirking chimp, could ever ape, (shit)

Great mimics (Guiness,Sellers,Murphy) in multi-role cameos?

Why not a 'coffer filler upper'?? For Barbie's L'il Georgie:

Our Decisive, Fearless, Run-around-Sooey. (Heh Heh Heh:)

My time is Yr. time, but it's getting rather late,

For the children?

Don'tcha, whaddaya?

Drip, drip, drip,

"Hiss h'ar corn? it's sumpin' special, ain't it?"

You said a whole mouthful, Pardner,

Keep Yr. paddle in the water.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

"Wrongs and Writs, in reply to the Throne"

Once upon our time, Canadians were widely regarded as the luckiest ever, on a small planet, where so many, have so little.
In 'dreamtime' during Wartime, the secret cypher for concentration camps' kitchens, was

Like manna ...'kanada'

(Long before, "Guantanamara" became "Gitmo."
Ever wonder.."What's left, of Omar Khadr?".. Joey!)

Young in years, but mature in our approaches to things.

Weather at home, was tough enough, then Vimy et al., Depression,

Then WAR, (again) Separation, Fear, Loss.

Atlantic Convoys, Hong Kong, Africa, Sicily, Dieppe,
Ortona/ Monte Casino, D-Day, Drive to Berlin.

What was found, and lost, in the Low Countries,
Taught that there was worse afoot, than weather.

So, we have been tried, even good, in the past.

Excepting our (routine) treatment, of All Abos,
"That'll l'arn 'em.. um, ah.. heathen savages!"

+Our,happily, gifted 'Dominion' over all else extant?

"Hi Ho, Hie Ho, get yo' scrawny butt(ox) to work,"

No naps, jus' raps: B# Minors,


"Away, away... to midden + dump
"'Cuz we da Poss ...+U da chump."
"Here we go, "loop-de-lie!"


"Jolly Canucks", work all day, rarely wear garters, our Motto,

"Peace, Order,.. and once, in a

'Bluue Moooon... you saw me standin' alone... without a dream..'

Not too bad, governance."

Je me souviens.

"There's that land, have you seen it?" R.S.

"A Gorgeous, 'Geographie Geant' the World admired,
trusted us, with it." L'Hibou Gris, top chap!

Currently, the "sotto voce" diplomatic skinny, aboot Us? WTF!

Brava Rona! Good work Chuck!

Peter+Condi whee! You GO Steverino!

Why, these Da-pilla-Torys are Red Assed Yankee Manquees

Just like 'Macaca' Georgie Porgie.

On 16 FEB '06:


THUS, promulgating a LAW OF THIS LAND, and those few remaining pockets of "INTERNATIONAL LAW" left to us, elsewhere, these days.

So, other than "Wetbacks and the Yellow Peril" what's new, Lou?

"..It is now widely understood that Canada can't(sic)...KYOTO.."
Throne Speech 16 Oct. 07.

"Understood" by Whom? Steve...Oh,

"See? Guess what! it's ah, clearly ah, in-continent, an' 'ats duh troof," says Swagger Gee, "So there,"

('Taint funny, Mcgee, even blind pigs find truffles,' do ya mind the vistas that made us wistful?)

It is Folks.

Sanctimonious Satraps, casting their farts to the wind, remarking on the sweetly, scented breezes.

Why, to say otherwise, might ruffle the REPUBIC rulers, whence all blessings trickle, (tinkle, tinkle) down.


THE NEXT, pond upstream, Little Beavers, is


"Screw them !@#$%&* Nobels, and the IJC too."

"NO need tuh dyn-o-mite, jus' OPEN THE DAMN GATE." (Chicago River)

"Jes' soon as those ARMY CORPS(ES) of ENG.S,

"Finish up, (good stuff, boyz!) in NOLA."

(To be Relieved: by elements of Blackwater, [4th DIV. Airborne Attack Rangers.])



"There shall (NOT, NO, NADA) be any unilateral Interpretuptions, of 'Flow Through' (in-mens-true-gates) in res 'Righteous, Republican, Riparian Rights' under NAFTA."

(Viz. Addington, Hadley, Yoo, Gonzales et al. before Judge Judy, ex parte, at a Fun Razor.)

"Ipso facto, 'cause Gonzo said so,"

(In close harmony children, on the downbeat)

"What transcription errors? So, you say? We have a true copy but you can't see it, 'cause we say so, F.U."

"Let's talk this over?"

"Ah, that's a big NegaTory, kitts, (stari-ng decisis-ly)

"WE say different!"

(Want to run that one through the WTO, Folks?
While U wait, let's get some shakes.)

Right, 'echo-hiking' l'on y dance, l'on y dance,

Walking tours across Thunder Bay,

Au Geant qu'est dormant, mon cher,

Frere Jacques, tous en rond.

"An Awakening, profoundly to be wished." B.H.

In 1972, "The New Romans," (excellent Can-lit anthology)
concluded with the heartfelt desire
NOT to be, routinely and forever,

"Bum-fucked by Bald Eagles."

NOW HERE WE ARE, all prostates, before the EMPIRE,

("See Alice," said the Cat, with a grin.)

As Nixon used to say, "That would be wrong."

How else then, to describe Bush et al. except, as cowardly bullies, with demonstrably anal, torture fetishes, among many other curious quirks.

Ex post factos, with soi disant, neo-con notions,

Of WTF's a'pro'(pos) and whose 'bono' they'll 'play' with today.

Retro-Blythe Control, with tazzzerz+guns+Gitmo,

They decide, who, where, when.

Why, Phat would make, our Stevie:

A "Handmaiden?"
A coy (alt.) vessel?
A pimp?
A pseudo-Christian wedgie?
Mike........ from Canmore?
Just another 'first class' fuckwit?
All above?

"Take it or leave it" is the preamble and postscript of this old receipe, not, for useful direction and redress, but rather, clingin' to the helm,

"It's always, all about me" sayeth the pious "Hogtown Halibut."

(Bottom feeder, with an oddly, "One sided" outlook,
Like a flounder, only rounder.)

As to the bulk of the missive to the masses,

(Notre pauvre, The RT Hon. Ms. Michaelle J. looking, throughout, comme toujours, "whip-smart," et la vraie belle canadienne, behind whose sparkling eyes, (honi mal y pense) les petites memoires of old drums, "Ton Ton Macoutes"..)

Whew, what was that, middle part?..Oh, it's pure, vintage Bushwa.

As budding cardsharps, on "Celebrity Poker?" will 'tell' ya,

"Watch Out When, a self-styled "Doc," brings his own deck, and without warrant, serially, surriptitiously, seriously, sneaks peeks, at Yr. 'Hole' (card)."

There's a Park, on the Lake, at the foot of Brimley Road, in Poor, Old Tranna,

Not Calgary Joey, just a short bike ride,

From Yr. ol' Homestead, in louche, lovely Leaside.

LEAFS Joey! loose the chaps.

Let's see WHO, "WANTS TO WAIT" 'til 2050!

For some "Tr-ACK-SHONE"

The Real Defenders of the True North hear, and rue

"Chimes of Arctic Ice" candling far too late,

Seasonally, in the great Canuck inter-gobble,

Dri_, dri_ dri_.

The "p" is silent, as in treading water.

"So Quit Yr. grinnin' and Drop...THE WRIT,TWIT.

You, Pre-postering, Pussy-lanomouse, Piss-ant Poll-Cat :)


Harpoon, whilst en banc, in House, attempted to cite
Stan Roger's, CBC certified number #1 with a Beaufort, Anthem to Franklin's Arctic questing, and of course, F/B-lubbered it.

We All know how keen he is, about All things Maritime.

"Goddam them all, I was told, we'd cruise the seas for American Gold."
8:5 against his joining in, on the harmony,
He's so squeaky, as nails on chalkboard.

Ah well, back to the "Staggers+Jaggs" me Hearties.
Pass the Port, Barrett,

Bet H. knows M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E,

By Heart.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

"Echo-Tourism only, NOW!"

There's an ancient novelty, redounding just below our daily theshold of vital signs,

"So PARIS'S (NOT) going to wear, WHAT, sometime, somewhere?

"Tell me what you want..and I'll give you what you need.."

"Well WOOF," said Saxby.


IT'S, (somewhere)in WILDERNESS."

So Sayeth Righteous Sages, over the ages.

MYSTIC PROFUNDITY, to be discovered ONLY in DEEP, QUIET reflection.

This surely, shall come as BIG NEWS to our ELDERS.(native, betters,)



Once upon our time, some DACHAS, here+there, in the OFF season, had this PERFECT BEAUTY/TRUTH.

NOW Oh, what a relief, when the neighbour's:

1/Children, (whom you are patiently training NOT to exterminate every new fauna they encounter, per se, or drown) have finally wearied of PWC donuts in front of Yr. camp and repaired to the BOOMBOXES for updates until,

2/It's huntin' practice time, AGAIN, "Yuh know that ALLIGATOR turtle we saw from the ski? Let's use it. If we can't find 'em there's those BEAVERS" then,

3/THE VERY LATEST "NEW COUNTRY" STATIC vies with alcooled domestic violence, interupted, occasionly, by PASSIONATE, high pitched SCREAMS, from all hands, (including various howls and whimpers from undisciplined, evocatively named, vicious "PETS," gnawing at chains,

OF Pain, Fear, Anger, Rejection, Anguish, Loss? WTF?

4/ A moonlit interlude, mood indigo, dancing w/ Auroras, "LOON CALL" philharmonic symphony, in C (sharp) Major, (9 players at tonight's JAM) when,

5/Augmenting the 24/7 Sodium vapour "KLIEGZZLIGHT", liberated one night, from the HIGHWAY SALT yard, (just past the DUMP) ON COME, a thousand points of LIGHT, soon followed by the CRESCENDO GROSSO of,



.... MANY GENSETS keep things AH, HUMMIN.'

"Night and Day, ...they are......the ones.."

SO, yet another modest suggestion:


BUTT (cigarette, you glutinious guttersnipes) YOU are all MOST WELCOME to VISIT.



THERE'S AH, WAR(S) ON, Don'tcha, NO?





Friday, October 12, 2007

"Favour Us, With a Tune, Won't You Soon?"

See Children, the Blues are rooted, Deep in the Earth, our Hearts and Silly Little Noggins.

Jazz (the Trunk) is an Ancient Alchemy of "What if?"

Slow down, listen, think, re-phrase, tempo, maybe this way, Louis and Darwin did.

Taller than Sequoias, Older than Bristlecones ("Been here, heard that.")

Rhythm is what we are, though some deny and suppress this, usually 'cause someone else told them, "That's what MyGod wants, wishes, demands, of You."

As to Rolling Rocks, That's a big (Glacial) topic for later, but not much later, rumours of waxing change are afoot.

Ever since "Soul," replaced "Race," as a (useful to some) modifier in the American Canon, many "Religiosos" have become increasingly confused.

Even those who (quel dommage) avoided dancing altogether, a priori.

Because Music hath Charms,

It's Witch Craft Wicced.

It gets you, you don't get It.

So, Come on, Folks, let's all climb onboard.

"You Don't Need No Ticket to Ride This Train."

"Embolden!" Enoble Yr. Out!-Look-Out!

(Go Tribe, show those Beantown Hosers)

So,What do Jimmy Carter and Al Gore have, that the current "Posse Cummin' at US" lacks?

Right, the former were elected, Lawfully.

Decent, caring, hardworking smart Earthlings, who pay close attention, sense the danger, doing their level best to alert the rest of us meerkats.

Pilloried by pissants for their trouble.

No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Another Northern Mid-October day, (+30C) sweaters rusty.

If (FISA) eaves-dripping is like melting, or dropping, (Bush)

Let's all, listen carefully.

"...She walked (away) with all (of) my CD's.... But I still Believe in Love.....Yes I Do!.....jus' not with You." Jack Soul

Get well Haydain.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sour Grapes of Wrath, Un-Sweetened Thursdays.

1/The G+M and CBC report this AM that Multi Manifest Jerkoff and his Merry Bund of Yankee Clippers, need dossiers on any Canadian who flys through "Their (Air) Space," going anywhere, except Gitmo, or alternate Rendering.

Happily not domestic flights from anywhere East to anywhere West or visa versa, whose terrorible umbra may darken the North West Angle, briefly, en route.

This curious exemption is based on the novel (G.O.P.) theorum that the Earth may have some curvature, odd, considering how straight they all are.

In the end, "The Cheese Stands Alone."

This is a new "Shoot" on the hardy perennial, still very popular in Luger/ Luganland, that many, if not all of the 9/11 "Baddies," swam/paddled/snowshoed the 49th, after extensive RCAF/See Sis! training, here in Soviet Canuckistan.

Well, Stock, the Day has come.

Whattaya, Whattaya?

2/ Laura Bush now leads "The Home of Premptive Smart Weapons" advising Myanmar on rights and wrongs.

Condi (quietly) considers a new do, maybe something less flip?

3/"Shoot 'em ups" in American schools and associated MSM coverage becoming stale and formulaic, sadly, no leaping, as all sharks gone for soup.

Everybody weeping, "Why Us?" Duh!

The NRA/RNC 2nd Ammendment position being entirely settled Law, it should be mandatory that all students "Pack Heat."

J.K. is none to soon for "Yard Yanks" to learn the "Facts of Fire Power."

Imagine how useful a few dozen AK47's would have been to students at Kent State, or "Buy a Gun" and "Play@Home."

4/The Yellow Rose advises Congress that warrentless everything is mighty useful.

5/Congress rebukes Nato Ally Turkey over century old, (everyone knows it was a) massacre, there have been plenty and they are increasing in both kind and degree.

Takes up Beatification of Reagan, Jackson, Filmore and Custer on at least "Air Miles' script, if not, new (Indian Head) wooden nickles?

New RNC lapel pins, like the "Troop Ribbons" in design, feature stylized Knot on a Dixie background, affirming American Family hotcakes!

"Collateral Disaperatos" in neo-con Babylonian Captivity, all over the world.

Oil/Grease makes the Pubics lubricious.

6/Tribe spanks Yanks, Washington PigSkins flaccid in early going, there's a trick, ah knows is.

Generic: Mydixadryllin, "Ask Yr. Phar-Ma if it's Right for U!"

7/8.01% of the 4.5 million votes (52% turnout?) in Ontari-ari-o are Green, trebles previous Green support to almost NDP level, resulting in in ZERO Green seats.

NDP have Ten (10).

MMP fails, most assume the early "M" stands for mendacious,

WTF are 'upper down' votes, 60% needed to consider emancipating the serf's, where's the 'Clarity Act' when we need it?

8/+32C all along 60N (Arctic Circle) for Giving Thanks Hols.

Sub-Saharan Flamingos snapping up Great Slave Waterfront say "It's nice, but could use a little more seasoning."

9/Tony Clement denied Betty Bacall's hope to attend TIFF, on grounds of habitual "Bogarting."

10/Researchers RDF picks up a Deer talking to an Antelope, "I think I just heard a discouraging word."

11/Bonus for Inquiring minds, Tush Livitra promises to lead G.O.P. back to the Executive Washrooms, over Hillary's 'D.B.', IF, he's awarded the Nobel, for Peace.

You Go, Lush.

"Boiling the Water, to Burn the Toast?"


Survey says, 80%+ of Canadians are clamoring for useful direction, regarding increasing cascades, like the Arctic, (indifferent to flags) tipping fast.


MORE than enough energy, comes from the Sun, every day.

The historic success of any species, so far,

Varies directly with ELEGANCE in the management of,

Passive Solar/Geothermal energy.

THE KEY to Kyoto is to QUIT BURNING.


CASCADING isn't, just pretty, little waterfalls.

It describes: exponential, systemic catastrophy,

Driving changes, in both kind and degree,

About which, we know, NOTHING.

Assuming systemic equilibrium, among other variables, any persistant 'constant' tends to augment some conditions, and retard others.



CHECK those "Rearviews" Folks, somethin' to do with OUR FLAMING BEHAVIOUR, (may be closer than you think) gaining FAST.

IF you lean on the hull of a ULCC, laden with two million bbls of (Light? Sweet?) Crude, long enough, you will move that Ship.

WHEN that Ship's moving, SLOWING it down again, requires LOTS (of Lilliputians) that's US.



IF we don't kick now, (nevermind the mess) the party's OVER.

SOME of our great, GRAND children,( who are wizard troglodytes) may see 2101, but without ipods, how will they MANAGE?

HOW LONG will we manage, WHEN (mortal lock) the GRID TRIPS again, more often, longer, in 'high' summer?

KYOTO is our slim LIFELINE, to a future entirely dependent on what we do today, to mitigate our (unprecedented) CARBON (et al) loading.

BUSH, Harper, Howard and the Kiwi P.M., all dismissive "Where, there? Folks, (head patting) Kyoto will destroy our economies and, in any event, its impossible, can't be done??" (wallet checking)

BASED ON WHAT? THESE BOZOS' long study? profound grasp? of the issue?




IT'S FINAL JEOPARDY time, Folks, and THEY MIS-took-read-taken-demeaned-under-estimated, ALL the questions?

THEY have NO currentcy, except US.

MAYBE it's time to say BOO! before we're through.

NEITHER, Solid Solar Panels, Focal Furnaces, Tarry Sands, Corny Ethanol, Wind Farms, Tidal Teathers, Cold Fusion, Space Mirrors, Ballard Buses, BullFrog Power, "Deep-Geo Carbon Sequestration,"

NOR, "New Nukes," online circa mid-Century? (maybe, how 'bout Yr. backyard?) will bail us out of this one, Fellow Earthlings.

WE ARE, along with "Meat, Autos and Greed," WAY TOO MANY.


WE BURN Fossils to change water into steam, to drive turbines, to generate electricity, to burn toast.

This arcane "method" is now "de fault" that cools/heats our homes, replete with multi-neo-grid-gobblers, large and small.

An Old Hitchhiker predicted this, of the 'digital watch set.'

SMALL, occasional campfires are handy for heat, light and marshmallows, but now the fuel is far from the fire, and the fire is far from home, SMOKE, everywhere.

HUGE, REMOTE from HOME, "GENSITES", burning billions of tonnes of fossils, moved billions of miles, so we can have "Toast," chez nous.

OLD SOLAR CONCENTRATES, (COAL-OIL-GAS) reformatted over and over, delivered through millions of miles, of long, expensive, LEAKY WIRES, to our shacks, shanties, split-levels and "Memories of River Dolphins" Condos. (near the polluted ditch, by the road)

"Get 'em while they last! Write 'UR' Own mortgage! says Flipper!"

"So long and thanks, for all the fish."

THE TROUBLE with Energy is, IT'S just like all US.

WE are carbon based, semi-random, brief, (happy?) coherent little concentrations of transient energy.

ALWAYS avoiding, in any way possible, moving, or concentrating, or transforming.

Energy prefers to relax, fallout, dismiss and disperse, just like us.

Remember (Meryl) Blixen's revelation, when the rains came?

"Dis water, be long Mombassa."

This 'character flaw' is known as ENTROPY, it's pervasive, like aging.

After wiki, revisit Rube Goldberg's visions of advanced, mechanical, engineering methodology, take notes.


Organic complexity often succeeds, mechanical complexity always fails.

The N.A. Grid is an "EMPIRE of ENTROPY," where: we use the wrong inputs, in the wrong way, in the wrong place, for the wrong reasons, poorly.

Diamonds in, Garbage out, "DIGO."

From GAIA'S vantage, we're just the late(st), not so great, ape.

SO FAR, most notable for: unprecedented violence to everything within' shootin' range.

CARELESS of the campsite, LOUDEST ever, (barking bedroom slippers) like smirking chimps or heartless baboons and WE, LOVE TO SMOKE."

SADLY, we can't just yell "Quaint," into the breeze, on this one, Dubya.

ALL of the "PLASTICS" + "SMOKE" we have ever made, didn't blow away, it blows around, FOREVER.

There's many a slip, twixt the cup and the lip. (time/distance = cleaning costs)


MANY of US, Northern Folks, have ATTICS above and BASEMENTS below, at HOME.

BASEMENTS, routinely interface with a (sub-frostline) geo-constant of about (+/-) 10C.

ATTICS, below shingled roofs, routinely collect and store +60C PASSIVE SOLAR HEAT for MOST of the year.

So the "SWEET SPOT," where we live, is SURROUNDED, by passive, adjacent, contiguous, persistant, pristine, free energy differentials of (+/-) 50C most of the time.

INSTEAD of combatting? this FREE ENERGY, with EXPENSIVE/DIRTY (Grid energy) LET'S USE IT.

Since residential A/C is the BIG DEMAND issue, on all temperate zone Grids, and the energy cost of A/C, for the average home, now exceeds heating, let's start there.

IF you have central A/C, do this.

IF you don't have central A/C, do this FIRST, then maybe Y'll decide to pass, on the joys of large, entropic contraptions.


DON"T touch that dial, whatever TEMP setting you prefer, is just fine.

BUY a $50 square box fan, place it facing "UP" towards the attic, in the access hatch.

Plug it in, usually to a pull chain and socket adapter, in the closet light recepticle.

Some fans have three speeds, use LOW.

NOW you are: quietly, positively expelling the super-heated attic air, out ridge pots and soffits, turning down the ATTIC OVEN.

CLOSE the doors, curtains and windows, except a basement window, preferably one facing East or North.

LEAVE (that) window open, so replacement air, from shaded, (green?) grade level, is drawn into, Yr. cooler basement, thence the house.

HOW HARD was that?

NOW, you can sleep at night, because Yr. attic oven has been 'banked', and the bedroom air is fresh and cool.


IN that window space, install a SEER+13 A/C, with an electro-static filter, run drip hose to petunias.

Turn it on LOW, its good to BALANCE in/out airflow, and precipitate the humidity.

The slower that the incoming air transits the basement, the higher the cooling factor in those upper bedrooms.

ON HOTTER DAYS, leave the thermostat, turn Yr. basement unit HIGHER to increase pre-cooling incoming.

NO SOLID, solar panels or geothermic wells with their stunning capital costs and extra-ordinary maintenance issues.

SPEND $600 + ADD to Yr. "seasonal" COSTS?




The average cost of centrally cooling an (A+B) home is about $2000/yr.

NOW Yr. old banger/compressor, (cunningly mounted against those sunny bricks) is seldom needed, to service the thermostat.

SMART fishers use quiet, mini-trolling motors.

Return on investment? July+August.

AVERAGE "Store Bought" energy savings +75%.

BIG STEP, in the RIGHT DIRECTION, retired the cost and saved almost $1000, IN ONE YEAR.

As external, energy prices and cooling demand INCREASE, THINK of this reno as a "COOL COLA" provision, built into YR HOME, forever.

There are about 150 MILLION these (A+B) HOMES in North America.

Residential A/C demand, during the lenghtening "Cooling" season, routinely exceeds HALF of ALL CAPACITY.

By substituting PASSIVE energy, "HOMESPUN"

RIGHT MODE: (Hot/cool) MEDIUM: (air) PLACE: (Yr. home)


Sending a wave of PROGRESSIVE SAVINGS back up-Grid.


Where the "STACKS" are not SMOKEY, all day.

IF WE all did this TODAY, we would EXCEED


So what shall we do with all this Sunfall/Earthgift cash?

Well, that too, but let's save more, soon.

LET'S CLOSE "ALL COAL Fired Generation", across the Dominion,

July 1st, 2008, ('09, LATEST)

Il sera une Bonne Fete du Canada, n'est pas?


With all that FREE HEAT in the attic, early Spring to late Fall,

Suppose we use it: to heat our water, dry our clothes, stay toasty?

"Simple strategies, sometimes succeed" Occam.

QUIT blaming the SUNBEAMS,


Those Grand Kids will ALL be TOAST.

Friday, October 5, 2007

"Bad Blood, False Alarms and Lawless Limbo, War's Still A-Go-Go!"

The recent judicial decision of "No Fault," among the Managers, Senior, who decided "What the hey, it may be tainted, but let's get this invenTory moving," in the matter of the thousands of Canadians whose transfusions included HEP.C/ HIV, will come as no surprise to our Air India families.

Or to Health Care professionals, Worldwide, who deal with the reality of the "Goddamn Pusher Man" and "The System" daily.

Ah, for those (g)olden days, when the "Gipper" solved America's great moral dilemmas, between naps, by artfully acting.

Ignoring them in public, except to muse, offhandedly, on "Life Style Choices" in a carefully crafted, mellifluous, Marlboro, drawl, "Aw shucks Hon, I forgot to duck," with just a hint of the "Nashville Trace" to cheer the Base, and remind the uppity.

Like a Noose, in a tree.

When the SECDEF opines "'Well, in a democracy, stuff happens," the looters liberate lavishly, it's a known known, not an unknown known, don'tcha know.

"My Granma and Yr. Granma, Iko, Iko, I Know?"

Hey now, NOLA?

But it's hard to "Hang Ten" on the swell trickle down sets from the supply side.(How's that Mortgage comin' along, Folks?)

Lucky for us Canadians, we have a "New Tory Team," still minor(ity), but with a singular strategem, in Sex, and Drugs and War.

"Snappy Wet Towels and Wedgies," Chapter Three from "The Longhorned Playbook," purloined by a puckish panderer, whilst sniffing around locker rooms, until he found the cheerleader, a simple, "Gud Ol' Boy-in-Full" (Phillips-Eli-Haavaard), who could be taught to strum the gut-bucket Base.

Ronnie's Receipe Redux!

Note to Translators: "The Base" is:

Descriptive of Sextarian halfwits anywhere, who can be in/ se/ pro/duced, to do anything.

In American (English?) it's the GOP/RNC/KKK/NRA and the
"Our God 'S' Mites U First Church of the Golden Go Getters."
(Tm., tax ex.)

"Redemption for....Yr. Air Miles! Credit Available! Operators standing by 24/7, Hear Glen Beck Speak! Do it Now, On Yr. Knees."

All subliminally spoken, at a speed positively McLuhan/Manchurian, as, one might imagine, Ms. Ayn L. Colder, helpless on organic mescalito and Ripple, at a campfire sing-a-long, "Easy Ayny, that ain't no marshmallow."

About the Congregation, "Some herd, what the flock?"

Sad, Silly, Senile, Cialis Junkies, Fearful, Igno-Rant/Minious, Old, White, Black, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violent (G.O.P.)

Men, with 'chancy/fancy' pants, and their small mean minds,

Whose (long suffering) Women, still stand by their ???, with averted, downcast eyes, sighing, just another clue to "Family Values", Folks,

Who have plenty, for the "HeartBreak of E.D." and "Games at the Club," but not much for children's health or education, but "Every Sperm is Sacred,"

And when a "Sainted Seed" is in situ, "Well all you 'Sweet Little Gals,' don't chew be in no doubt as to WHO's runnin' 'iss hair Plantation",

Elsewhere, "al-Qaeda", is de fault.

"Base Maintainence" was the meme of the celebraTory performance, near confluence of "Muddy Waters" yesterday, by the "Three (s)Tory Tellers," part of their "Good News! Guess what? the Cheque's in the Mail" tour.

Stevie sang Base, Tony sang Terror, and Stock, well he did his best, then scooted off, on his little wet-jet, to check out those suspicious burkas/hijabs at the Forks.

See Sis, in a secret memo, ("These Eyes" only), had tipped, our chip (off the old chert) off, to the fact that some scarves from the Middle East are muslin...... OMG! The Smoking Hooka! Loose the hounds,

Shsssh, For God's sake, don't bandy this about, (loose lips etc).

See, Once upon a time, there were Laws that we made together, especially Laws about who makes, enforces, and interprets Laws and the First Law was that Law applied "Equally, To Everyone, All the Time."

We Decided That, All Together Then,

Today, now, all Law is a passing whim, a notion, that may occur to Bad Ass Baas Bush or his minions, who Love the New "Take" on ad hoc, pro bono.

See Folks, in case you missed it, there's only one "Decider," East or West of the Pecos.

Our Stevie's "Little Beaver" to Dub the Dude's avatar, (Swagger Gee's a Connecticut Beanie Boy, fer Chrissakes), the G.New, "Red Ryder."

BB's for brains, and the "!@#%&*x/ Bumpus Hounds!" ...on the loose!

Under Current U.S Law, The Yellow Rose, or his designate, can do anything, to anyone, anywhere, as much as he wants, as long as he wants, whenever he wants.

"Ex Post Facto, Anti-Impedimentarianism," (Leo and Milton would be proud), asserted by, parmi les autres, John (I am calling YOOoo, ou-ou-ou, ou-ou-ou) Yoo, a dimwitted "Shyster" of the First Magna, Dude.

American Psycho Taxi Drivers paddlin', way down the Chattahochie, and "Ya cain't get tuh Aintree" ... without dirty pants, Fun? Wow!

Among those millions of "Collaterals," one imagines, that some might have been quite nice, particularily the elderly, the infants, and the pre-induction YounG'uns?

Enaways, back to our "Branch" of the Alliance, up North.

Demonstrating, once again, his "Wonkiness" and encyclopedic grasp of Ethno-Botanicals, Steve stoutly, yet syruptitiously, snuck 'maryjane' right back into the "Narcotics Chapter" of the current P.D.R., again.

Nevermind, that EVERY Medical Journal, on Earth, states the converse, that Stevie, he's a sneaker.

It's "Le Dain" damn thing, over and over and over.

Abnorml, don'tcha think?

Sticking to the Spirit, shunning Devilish details, "Harpoon" (caucus nickname) left unsaid, just how the $64 MM's will be apportioned to salvage the afflicted.

For sure, it's safe to say that "Faith Based Tazszzeringzz," obviously, deserves more funding, it's proving so salubraTory to end-use-ments everywhere.

In other arresting news:

1/Those who follow our Afghani effort will be relieved that Gen. Rick has postponed his Tory leadership campaign, only TempORarilY, 'cause he really digs saluting Gen. Dan McNeill COM(ISAF), Cheney's personal enema-neccessary, in that troubled land.

Imagine how, The RT. Hon. Georges Vanier MC DSO Royal 22nd Regiment, might regard Cheney's (Chief Assistant to the Chicken Hawk Coward in Chief) Chicken Shit, descending on his/our valiant VanDoos, PPCLI, et al?

Oh well, half a league onwards.

2/The Hot sTory in Iqaluit: The new distribution center for A/C equipment has re-opened after repairs to the HVAC system were completed.

Evidently, the intakes are being occupied by small ill-eagle-like aliens, as nesting sites, strange cheery Cheechacos, untold in Inuit Lore.

"They're everywhere, they're everywhere, we'll be hard pressed to get rid of them" said an Tory spokesperson, " We may have to ah, mend the fly-laws."

Descriptions of the beasts, forwarded to the Canadian Wildlife Service, have not only gone unanswered, so has their phone service, which seems to have Stahlled.

Meanwhile, an native child, surfing the net, said "Hey Mom, it looks kinda like a robin, to me."

3/"I'd like to hear some funky Dixieland and dance a Honky Tonk, Old Blackwater keep(s) on rollin'.....all night long."

4/Canuck Exchequer Jim's new B.of C Chef, cautioned dilaTory remitters that, like death, taxes are mandiTory.

Well, it's in us to give, I guess?

Riddle me this, if Mahatma (coat, homespun) Gandi-ji could undo the British Raj with a handfull of salt, would a moose lick Lott's wife?

Nap Time.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

"Alert's in the Arctic, Dew U Hear it?"

We haven't the slightest wish to alarm anyone, but does anyone else recall some recent little things, about the weather, everywhere?

The Droughts, Fires, Floods, Mudslides, Earthquakes,Tsunamis, Hurricanes, Avalanches, Tornados, Cyclones, Coral Bleaching, Oceanic Heating, Drift Nets, Mid-Pacific Gyre Knee Deep in Plastic, No Fish, Frogs, Toads, Newts(1), Birds, Butterflys, Worms, Fun, Spring, Hotter Summers, Long Later Autumns, Weeny Winters, Wide spread Extinctions and the Great Melting?

Well Folks, we've put so much Smoke into the Biosphere that it's a little perturbed.

Why, 'cause we got will, as is our wont.

"Mission Accomplished" in the battle to show who's Baas.

As to what/who is "Prevailing," lick Yr. (anything) and hold it up.

Actually, we're now tied, with archeobacteria (early oxy dealers), for making Archimedes longest lever, so far.

Evidentially, our new Quest is for the Shortest (Lifetime) in the Major Leagues?

The difficulty, here, is that we're also (Rats!), the fulcrum, and we're standing on the majority of all Life on Earth.

That Melting goes on 24/7 today, in October, SW Melville! ( Above 70N!) varies directly as we love to Smoke.

Not indoors, of course, but you might find it increasingly blustery outside.

Let's Kick?

Energy (Kyoto) is easily done at Home, we shall be delighted to tell you why and, if you so desire, show you How, on the House as 'twer.

Otherwise, changes in attitude about climactic latitudes will avail us naught.

Pass me that shaker of salt, SVP, Jimmy.

Hear the dri_, dri_, dri_, dri_, dri_?

The "p" is silent, as in swimming.

Dew drop a line, from time to time.

Happy paddling.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

"Oh that "Tush," He's such a "Taser"

Other than Hillarious attempts at playground slander there is so much else to admire on the Egregiously Ignomous Bigot's flagwave.

The fauning, obsequious little "dittos" and the Merchandising!

Lush lets anyone buy stuff 24/7, but to get the "High Test Oxy" (info) ya gotta pay the price, join the grope.

Starring Himself,in many (dis)guises, all of which, evidently, greatly appeals to those diminishing remnants of Rove's rubes, who unhand their serpents,(just {long} enough), to sticky up that radio dial daily.

A particular crowd pleaser is hiss cloyingly, cute repetitive coda, "You musth remember thiss, a lissp is just a diss."

"Hot Dang Enid, I swear when he talks thuh baby-talk ah'm like to widdle ma britches.
Did thuh 'ammo miles' from Chuck at ther NRA, come in yet?
No Sugar, yer a tad young to rassle the rat'lers, but iffen Yr. a good little gal, y'all are gonna play with the Woodcock, later."

Would you talk like that to Yr. best hunting bitch? (QED)

In the carny of conceit that comprises the prancing pissant pundits all the mirrors were one way, until anyone (even old sailors!) could tap into the Mojo Wire, and anyone else could listen.

Lush Bimbo, Ayn(L.)Colder, Shun Honesty and Bogside Billy et al use exactly the same M.O. and (yet) they thrive+survive in a climate of constant TV forensic fables, ees a puzzlement, eh Anna?

See(S.I.), all these shows celebrate opportunity, weapons and motives.

It's simple, "Like the periodic table, my dear Watson."

And there's no jizz like show bizz for these eager egoists.

Conflict sells soap, so high voltage teasers with tasers are in great demand, that's the oppo.

As to weapons, how can we count the ways?

Impervious to the delicate shafts of wit that characterize civil, adult discussion and argument, they showcase the sandbox, celebrate the stereotype, do the hokey-pokey, slander all and sundry, turn it all about, ridicule responsibility and generally hurl their fricative, fictitious feces all around the Mayberry, Bush.

Scent marking for sanctimonious syncophants.

Intellectually undescended, (like testicles, unlike monkeys) their game depends, (like a full diaper) on suspended disbelief and the fact that their listeners are all co-celebrants in the Church of Me First.

These sad simpltons are as unlikely to suss out syllogistic spam as they are to rectify their own undistributed middles.

Three wild guesses at the motive, anyone?

Peut-etre, Beaucoup d'Argent? D'accord.

The Petreaus caption was neither witty nor germane and prima facie infra dig. but happily for the hate mongers, it lowered (as improbable as that seems) the ongoing debate,( War!, More War? or Somewhat Less War?) right back to the G.O.P. (briar) patch.

("Peace" of course, never, never, occurs to anyone, except in a collateral way, like when they're kilt.)

The Gory Odious Pubic "Patch" ain't Br'er Rabbit's happy habitat.

It's B.F.S.'s Box, stale+reeking with lumpy Limbo litter (Watch out Tony, it's dark and sticky in there).

Let's all move on and leave them in it.

"The woods are dark and deep, and we have miles to

Update: 3 Oct. 07

Today, in a scintillating retort to those nitpicking blogwits who had the temerity to wonder if a redacted transcript was more useful evidence than say EYES+EARS! Shush (Yo mouf) Lumbago allowed the whole story was a mere tech glitch between+among Snerdly, Himself, reaching backwards whilst multi-tasking on air and... wait for it, THE PRINTER.

Well Gush, we've all been there.

Rosemary Woods would be proud.

What Dots?

Ctrl>Alt>Delete/ LoBatt/ ZZZZZZZ

Update: 7 Oct. 07

Tush's latest salvo: Decorated, wounded, BushWar veterans who prefer Peace to War are treasonous, suicide bombers who have been "Manchurianed" by Hillary et al.

Tune in tomorrow (")'s, as he sets the bar even lower.

With Lush Limbo to guide you, who knows how low you can go?