Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Texans Perplexed By Big Web Site!

The recent discovery of of a Big Web in a Texas forest has brought new fuel to the "Creationist Hypothesis" with some born again bio-ethicists theorizing that it was designed by "Intelligent" spiders to catch bugs.

As if!

The story caught fire on the Blogisphere over a post to "Pissed Off Americans With Guns"( great site) when a Crawford reader quipped:

" See, spiders, I hate 'em, live in holes, if we don't squish 'em there......"

Little is known about spiders, by Texans, except those who have rented "Arachnophobia," and they know plenty, more than enough.

In other Science News, today Monsanto fired Dr. A. Beaker, Chief of Laboratory Protoculs in their Genetic Splicing Division, for leaking.

See, by combining spider's silk and goat's milk, Monsanto had hoped to patent the World's Strongest chevre.

"I'm an innocent fall guy," Beaker retorted, while enjoying a quick lunch with associate Dr. Bunsen,(Tuna salad on a Bun)"Gee whillickers, whodathunk they'd drop me."

Evidently, huge portions of expensive lab time were wasted on the, (Top Secret) "Welsh leek/Assyrian donkey" Project.

Sadly, all the computer modelling predicted 'overwhelming' onions with much longer ears, (to infinity) rather than the, long hoped for, dreamy break-through.

"A piece of ass, so good, that it brings tears to your eyes."

Beaker hopes to hook back up with his old shipmates on the Orbital Porcine Continuum project, if he can make the grade, eh Lou?

UPDATE: 06 Sept 07
British researcher's claim of novelty, in hybrid (human/bovine) embryonic gene splicing, is hotly disputed by Bush's Special WH Advisor on Creationism.
The Right Reverend Buster Hymenary, on the "Fox" today, characterized the claim as "Udderly false" citing a "Proof" unusually proximate to the Prez.

"Why, ever since she was Greek Week Rush Chair, (Eta Delta Pi), in college, (Class of 1869) Babs Bush's Old Chums have always called her 'Bossy'."

"Pass that wild rice, would you Anne?

So, what's to drink?"