Thursday, August 30, 2007

Larry's last stall

Leaving aside the sexual politics of Sen. Craig's recent imbroglio, his decision to "Seek legal options" has recently been dismissed as fantasy by legal beagles all over the MSM.

These rationales are rooted in the "Quaint" notion that (Gracias, Gonzo) any law remains in the U.S.

GWB, Himself, is very forthright on this issue explaining that stari decisis means he decides and we all stare (In shock+awe).

Ever since those giants of jurisprudence, Ashcroft, Yoo, Gonzales,Hadley et al, posited heretofore undiscovered defects in the Magna Carta, Blackstone, the Haig+Geneva Conventions and the Bill of Rights, "Ex Post Facto,"is the new bedrock of "'murican justice", in lay terms the Grand Old cover your ass Phallusy.

This touchstone offers the Senator many novel options regarding his admisson of guilt:

1/ Like FISA '78, his Aug.'07 guilty plea is "Old" and the times, they are a-changin'.

2/Overcoming the shame+guilt, he now confesses to a lifelong closeted passion for "Race music" and having the Mighty Temps on his ipod during his close encounter.........well, let those among you who can listen to the intro to "Papa was a Trolling groan" without involuntary toe tapping, cast what stones you may.

3/Hungry for contact with humanity outside-the Beltway , the reach below the partition was, unlike Elaine's, simply a kind offer of a spare square.

4/In a stunning lateral, legal glissando, satisfying The Base's redemptive fetish, he will assert the famous Geraldine precedent "The Debbil made me do it."

Update: 03 Sept. 07: Arlen (Do I dare to eat a peach?) Spector, never one to pass a parsing opportunity, exhorted his beleagered Co-Pubic to fight on against his unreasonable, signed admission of guilt.

Correctly noting that "Intending" is neither predictive nor binding, the Ranking Member exhorted his colleague to un-besmirch via simple legal remedies.

Update: 04 Sept.07: MSM all atwitter tonight over Craig "Spokesperson" revisiting the cobbles on the road to Hell.

Citing the beleaguered Senator's hasty (Arrested June '07 +mailed in guilty plea Aug. '07) admission, the Spud State Spinmeister said "It's just paper and there are few sissors sharper than Arlen", refering to "Shall I wear my trousers rolled" Spector.

Having earlier dropped his Idaho campaign chair like a hot you-know-what, Mitt Moroni expressed confidence in the ability of the Regent Scolars, now running the DOJ, to rock on, thus quashing Spector's salient.

Only time will tell if Craig's plea can cover this contingency but look for breaking news about his cub scout semaphore badge and American Sign language studies as mitigating factors.